Changing Pace
by Ravoniya
Summary: Amy's dad was murdered and she's forced into a new town. She meets Grace and they become good friends almost instantly. Ricky is Grace's stepbrother and he knows something about Amy's life that Amy doesn't know. When Amy finds out, what will happen?
1. Chapter 1

I do not own any secret life character, they all belong to Brenda Hampton, but I do own Joseph Castel (He's new)

***Author's Note: **This is my second story in fan fiction and I hope you like it. It took me awhile to figure out what type of story I wanted to write for my second one. I went to look at other books and TV shows to see if I should do my second one on one of those, but I decided to stay with Secret Life for now. So tell me what you think about it in the reviews. You can also send me some suggestions in PM. There is no John in this story, not yet anyway and Adrian is not pregnant. Robbie also will not be in this story, sorry. Nora was not a drug addict or alcoholic nor will she ever be and Bob will not be allowed in this fan fic.

**I See Me**

When I look into these eyes, I find things no one else ever catches a glimpse at

I see this fear of judgment that makes me cower at confrontation

I see the hopelessness for the future that makes her choices her burden alone

I see this desperate need for companionship to make her strong in the savage world of humans

I see this courage caged in her thoughts of inferiority

I see these thoughts of abandonment that make her cling to anything

I see this devotion to her beliefs that make her fear death

And I hate that the person I always see is me.

-Written by Jay, taken from the book, Poems on Life

_**Amy's PoV**_

I really didn't want to move from the only home that I've known, but my mother insisted. After the incident with my father, I knew she wouldn't be able to stay here in Texas. It felt like we were leaving him behind though, trying to rid our memories of him. I wouldn't dare tell my mother that, it would break her heart. She just got through being depressed as it is. Even though it had been months ago, I knew that she felt as if it was just yesterday. Sometimes I would feel the same. Ashley was different now too. She wasn't as happy as she used to be and she was more sarcastic than usual. I figured that, that was how she handled his death. Mostly I just shut people out. My mother had tried to get me to go to therapy with her and Ashley, but I didn't want some shrink probing my mind. I didn't need anyone knowing my thoughts. I knew that I would break apart if I let anyone into my true feelings. I didn't even let my boyfriend, Jimmy, into my heart anymore. We were becoming distant, but instead of breaking up, we just kind of deal with it. I knew that he had started talking to other girls and I didn't really mind. I couldn't blame him. My friends had even started shutting me out of the clique. I was okay with that too, because I didn't want any one tip toeing over my feelings. When we moved to this new town in California, I would avoid telling people that my dad was six feet under as long as I could. I didn't want to be treated like I was fragile anymore.

I walked out of my room for the last time and down the stairs. I passed Ashley on the way out the front door. I didn't dare turn around and look behind me because I didn't want to miss this place. However, I knew I would, but it was nice to think that I was starting over, in a new place. My life had been great here, but maybe it would be even better in California. I breathed in the dry, Texas air that I was so accustomed to for the last time. I made slow, practiced footsteps towards the SUV that was facing street. I forced myself not to look back and hesitantly opened the door to the front seat. I knew that when I opened this door, there was no turning back. I slowly sat in the seat, leaned my head back on the headrest, and closed my eyes. Luckily, I had put all my electronics in the front seat with me. I knew that this was going to be a long trip so I had charged everything last night. I even went to the store and bought a car charger. My mom said I was being ridiculous, but I was not looking forward to being bored for hours upon hours. Hopefully, we'll stop at a hotel and rest because I knew I would be stiff if I sat in this car for more than half a day.

The breeze that was hitting my arm was shut off when my mother closed the back of the SUV. I heard her sigh and she opened her door, preparing to sit down. She looked in the back seat and then I felt her eyes on me. I opened my eyes slowly to look at her. She looked tired and stressed. I had offered to drive part of the way, but she refused me.

"Where's your sister?" She asked me while leaning on her seat with her hands.

"Last time I saw her she was still in the house. Maybe she's hoping we'll leave her behind. Maybe we should," I said grinning. My mother smiled back and rolled her eyes at me.

"Sorry Amy, no can do. She has to come with us because we love her, remember?" She said while walking away from the car. Slowly, she was walking towards the house to get Ashley. I pulled my iPod out of my purse and stuck the headphones in my ears. I shut my eyes again and hoped that sleep would come easily.

I heard the two doors shut and knew that my mother had gotten Ashley to come out of the house, despite the protest that she had probably put on. The car cranked up and I could feel the vibrations of it putting me at ease. I always fell asleep in cars. I'd been doing it since I was a baby. The car began to roll and my heart began to sputter out of control. It was beginning to miss this place already.

_**Grace's PoV**_

I have to say that it was hard for me to grasp that my stepbrother, Ricky, was dating my best friend, Adrian. It was true that they were dating before we became best friends, but like he, I wanted to spend time with her too. I mean she spent every waking moment with him at school and on weekends, all I asked for was a night to talk about my boy problems. Maybe I could talk to Ricky about them when he got back home from being with Adrian. Ben was his best friend, and had been for a very long time. However, I didn't want Ricky to know that I liked him. He would probably do anything he could to keep Ben away from me because Ricky was so protective of me. I didn't have a problem with that, but sometimes it got annoying. Most boys were even afraid to talk to me when Ricky was around. It was as if he was my father, but dad was even worse.

The fact that my father, Joseph Castel, was the very prominent leader of a well-known mafia made males fear even breathing around me. It was hell being a mafia princess. I'm sure Nora, my stepmom had it worse than I did. At least I didn't have to walk around with a guard. I was grateful at least for that.

I eased down the stairs not wanting to face my dad with the outfit I had on. If it were up to him I would be dressed like a nun. I breathed a sigh of relief when I only saw Nora in the kitchen. She was sitting at the table with a very delicious looking muffin on her plate, reading the newspaper. I stood in front of her, she looked up at me, and her eyes went wide.

"Wow grace, I love that outfit, but you know your dad would kill you if he saw you in it," She said smiling at me.

"Maybe not," I shrugged my shoulders and she looked pointedly at me. I rolled my eyes at myself and took a seat at the table. "Okay so maybe he will, but come on, it's just a halter top." I sighed.

"It's not just the halter top he'll worry about," She patted me on the leg and I knew that she was insinuating that he would also go ballistic over the skirt that I decided to wear. It only came right above my knee, well maybe a little higher than right above.

"You know how he is about you showing too much skin. He still see's you as his little princess," She said smiling lightly. Nora and my dad had been married for nine years now. She knew that my dad was weak when it came to me. What she didn't know that he was weak when it came to her also.

"Nora, I'm 17-years-old, I'm far from a little princess. He's going to have to understand that I'm going to have to grow up sometime," I sophisticatedly. I rolled my shoulders back and sat up straight like a woman. Nora giggled and took a sip of her coffee.

"That was cute Grace, now go put on a sweater," She said shooing me upstairs with her hand. I rolled my eyes and snatched her muffin off her plate. "Hey," She said playfully. "That's mine,"

"Sorry, it's a small price that you have to pay for making me go put on a sweater," I bit the muffin and snickered on my way back up the stairs.

"At least I'm not making you change your clothes," She hollered up to me. That was true. Nora had always liked my wardrobe, but she also liked being with my dad, so she tried to keep him happy. She never really went against him, but she was the reason that I'd gotten away with buying clothes like this. She had talked my dad into letting me wear halter-tops, but I had to wear a sweater with them no matter the weather. Nora was always here for me, even though she wasn't my real mom, I still loved her the same as if she were. My mom had passed away when I was four and I never really knew her. She had been diagnosed with cancer and the doctors caught it too late. Some days, I wish that she was still here, but other days I was glad that God took her away from the pain and suffering.

I threw on my pink sweater on and made my way back downstairs. Nora clapped her hands when she saw me again. I smiled and twirled around.

"How about now?" I said with my hands out in front of me.

"That is much better beautiful. You look cute, like a little doll," She said smirking. That's where Ricky got it from. He was always smirking, but his was more cocky than playful.

"I don't want to look like a doll," I said huffing. I flopped back down in the seat that I was sitting in earlier.

"You want to look like a slut?" Leave it to Nora to be so real. That's one reason that I loved her. She was always brutally honest no matter what. That's probably why my dad was so attracted to her. He liked someone that was honest and had his or her own opinion.

"No, I don't want to look like a slut. I just don't want to look like a child. Nora, I'm almost an adult," I sounded like one of those toddlers in tiaras. She laughed at me.

"Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades," She said smartly. She looked at her watch and stood up. "Look at the time kiddo you have to get to school and I need to prepare to go to the mall," I stood along with her and put a pout on my face. "What is it now?"

"I want to go to the mall. Can you wait until I come home from school?" I threw on a large smile. She knew that I loved the mall and besides, I needed to get some new shoes and scarves.

"Grace, we can go this weekend because I really need to go today and I need to go early. You know how long it takes me to shop, I have to examine every store and everything inside them," That was true, Nora did shop long. That's why Ricky and my dad never liked to go with her. I was always willing though because we both shared the same shopping habit.

I sighed. "Okay, I guess, but at least buy me something while you're there," I said heading for the door.

"Don't I always and have you seen Ricky? I don't think I've seen him since yesterday morning," She said and I hesitated at the door.

"Well, I'll see you after school," I said trying to leave quickly. I really didn't want to have to tell Nora where Ricky was because I didn't want to feel her wrath. Nora was at the door before I could open it all the way and she closed it while my hand was still on the knob.

"Grace," She said. I shut my eyes before turning around and said a silent prayer. I finally met her eyes and chuckled worriedly. "Grace," She said again more motherly and I broke. I didn't like standing under her serious gaze for too long, it made me shiver in fear.

"Okay, okay, I think he stayed with Adrian last night," I said quickly. Nora's nostrils flared and I knew Ricky would be in for it when he got home. I would warn him to tread softly around Nora when he got here, but I didn't want to get in trouble for tipping him off that Nora was angry.

"Excuse me? What do you mean he stayed at Adrian's last night?" The question was slightly rhetorical so I didn't answer it. "He knows that it is against the rules to have… sleepovers with the opposite sex," She said snapping. In addition, she didn't have very strong feeling for Adrian, she's never really liked her. Adrian was very in tune to this fact and did everything she could to get Nora to like her. When Adrian would spend the night with me, it took heaven and earth for me to get Nora to be peaceful around her.

"Okay, well I better go," I wanted to get out of this house fast. I knew that her good mood had been pushed away and she probably wouldn't go to the mall now. It wouldn't surprise me if she showed up at school to chew Ricky out. Even Ricky knew that breaking Nora's rules would be hell, on everyone but me. Nora and I never argued, she was one of my best friends.

I walked out of the door while Nora stood in a pool of anger. I walked by my dad on the way to my car and his blue eyes met mine. He looked at my outfit and I knew he was trying to hold it together.

"I wouldn't go in there," I said focusing his attention from me. He rubbed his hand through his thick black hair. "Nora's in a bad mood,"

"Why? What happened?" He asked with his melodic voice. He looked worried.

"Ricky didn't come home last night, he sort of stayed at Adrian's," I said in a loud whisper. My dad rolled his eyes and sighed. He probably knew that Ricky stayed there he probably condoned it.

"I told him to come home before Nora woke up. That boy is going to be the death of me, now I have to go in and face her," He said speaking to himself. I began to walk towards my BMW again because I was trying to leave before his focus was back on my clothing. I heard the house door close behind me and was relieved. Thank God for Ricky.

_**Ricky's PoV**_

Adrian hung on my shoulder as we made our way through the school hallway. It was always like that. Students parted like the Red Sea when we came through. I wrapped my arm around Adrian and a smile plastered itself onto her face. Last night I had stayed at her house, we did have sex, as usual. I knew my mother would burst a vessel because she didn't really like Adrian, at all. It never really stopped me from being with her though, because I was having fun. I didn't want to say that I was in love with her because I wasn't. She wasn't the type of girl that you would want to fall in love with, well the type of girl that I wanted to fall in love with anyway. It never stopped me from telling her I loved her though. I did it to make her happy. I knew that when I wasn't around Adrian liked to screw other guys, but that was fine with me, I didn't really want a commitment to her. She didn't really ask for it like most girls would.

I spotted my best friend Ben going into the councilor's office, as usual. Ben went in there every day to talk about his issues. Sometimes I wondered why we were so close because we were so different. I think it was because we balanced one another out, what one of us lacked the other had in full. He'd been my friend since before my mom married Grace's dad. I had never really had a father since mine walked out on us before I was born. All I knew about him was that he was an alcoholic and he was abusive towards my mom. After knowing that, I didn't need to know anything else about him. I figured if you hit a woman that you weren't worth getting to know. Therefore, I call Joseph Castel, my stepdad, dad. He was the only father I knew and I was thankful that God had sent him to my mom and me. Before he came along, we were struggling. My mother had met him while doing a waitressing job and so they claim, until this day, that it was love at first sight.

I stood at my locker in front of Adrian when I saw the front entrance of the school open and Grace strutted in. She smiled at me and waved. I returned her greeting, but my face dropped when I saw what she was wearing. She walked up to us and she and Adrian went into babble mode. I was still examining her outfit.

"That skirt is kind of short don't you think Grace?" I said and she rolled her eyes. Adrian stopped talking abruptly. She looked at Grace's skirt and I could tell that she didn't think it was too short, but she didn't say anything.

"Ricky, this is not short, it comes right above my knee. I'm not a Nun, it's not a sin for me to show skin," Her voice held annoyance. That skirt was not right above her knee, it was higher than that.

"Did dad see you like that?" I said accusingly. I knew if he saw it and she still came to school like this, then she would be in trouble.

"In fact he did see it. Besides, I wouldn't be worrying about me right about now," She said sounding as if she were hinting around at something. Confusion rested on my face and then I looked at Adrian who was just as confused. The bell rang and Grace made her way towards her first class.

"What does that mean?" I asked Grace. She turned around and smiled at me while shrugging. I planted a kiss on Adrian's lips and we separated, not wanting to be late for class.

I had thought about what Grace had said and racked my brain trying to figure out what she was talking about. What did I do yesterday that would get me in trouble? Did I not take the trash out? What didn't I do at home yesterday? Then it hit me. _Shit, I didn't go home yesterday, or this morning before mom woke up. _I slapped myself in the forehead. Dad had told me to come home before mom woke up and I didn't. I came straight to school not even thinking. Usually I kept extra clothes in my car in case I was staying at Ben's house or something so I had changed into those clothes at Adrian's this morning. My full intention was to go home to at least show my face, but Adrian and I had went for a morning round and I'd forgotten. I hope that my mom hadn't noticed that I didn't come home last night, though something told me she did.

**Okay guys tell me what you think of the new story in reviews. I'm excited about this one because it is very different from the real secret life plot unlike my last one. **

**And so you'll be able to picture houses and things:**

**Ricky and Grace's house is Grace's house in the show; the house Amy is moving to is her house in the show; Ben's house is still the same and so is Adrian's **


	2. Happy Greetings

**None of the Characters in this story belong to me they were created by Brenda Hampton. I do own Joseph though. **

_**Nora's PoV**_

I swear before the heaven if it wasn't one thing with Ricky then it was another. Somehow, I'd known that he'd gotten permission from Joseph because he knew that I would say no. Ricky knew that I did not want him staying at any girl's house because I knew what he was doing. He also knew that I did not like Adrian. There was something about her that seemed sneaky and tricky and I didn't trust her around my son or my daughter. When she came around, I tried to stay away from her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Adrian was not right for my son and she was not right for Grace either. Adrian liked to talk about sex around Grace and I hoped that Grace wouldn't get curious enough to try it. As far as I knew Grace still had her virginity and she was going to wait at least until she found the right person. That's the type of girl she was and I was proud to call her my daughter. She had so much respect for herself. I'd wished I was like that when I was her age.

I looked at my watch while I sat in the living room. I had put off going to the mall because I wasn't really in the mood to shop anymore. My eyes burned a hole through the front door as I waited for Ricky to arrive home from school. I never really got onto Ricky much, but when it came to him doing something like this, I laid into him. The sound of the kitchen door opening and shutting quietly let me know that Ricky was here and he knew he was in trouble. I left my spot on the couch and caught the back of his foot catching up with his body as he shot up the stairs. _Nice try, _I thought as I leisurely followed behind him. I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see Grace texting. She glared up at me before exploding into her room and shutting her door. It closed with a bang.

I found myself looking at Ricky's door calming myself because I didn't want to argue too much. I knocked on the door and he opened it with a smile. Rolling my eyes, I pushed him aside and stepped into his room.

"Hi ma," he said walking towards me and kissing me on the cheek.

"Cut the crap Ricky you know why I'm in here. Which one of my rules did I specifically ask you not to go against?" I said folding my arms. The guilt flooded his face and he looked down. I gave him a moment because I knew that I wouldn't have to ask him again. He usually answered me the first time because he knew that I didn't like to ask twice.

"No sleepovers with girlfriends," He said mumbling. He always mumbled when he knew he was guilty of something.

"What rule did you break?" I asked. He looked up and shrugged. I looked pointedly at him. He purposefully chose to act dumb. I lifted my eyebrows at him and he sighed.

"I slept at Adrian's last night, but nothing happened," He said quickly. As if I really believed that, both he and Adrian were too touchy feely for nothing to happen.

"Ricky I have these rules because I don't want you to end up like me. I don't want you to have a baby while you're getting your education. You know that and I don't want you to get any STD. Come on Ricky, you even told me that Adrian sleeps with other guys, do you know how dangerous that is?" I said barely keeping my voice at a decent level. I was trying to work on my attitude because Joseph had told me that Ricky was never going to listen to me if I always yelled at him.

"We use protection, all the time," He said in a matter of fact tone. I rolled my eyes at him and chuckled lightly. For someone so smart he was pretty naïve. I had taught him better than that, at least I hoped I did.

"Babies and diseases don't care about protection. I used protection too and look what happened, I had a baby in high school. It's true that I love you, but do you think it's fun to raise a baby while all your friends are out having fun every night?" He plopped down on his bed and I sat beside him. I looked at him, pleading for him not to make the same mistake that I did in high school.

"No, I know it's not fun, but I'm not going to have a baby, I know what I'm doing, and I know what you're saying. If I get in that situation I'll fix it," He was obviously still not getting the point. I didn't want him to have to get in that situation period.

"You're not ignorant so please stop acting like it. Do. Not. Stay the night. At Adrian's. Period. Do you understand me?" I said while getting up. He looked at me and rolled his eyes and I smirked at him. I could see that he silently understood. He nodded his head slowly. "Now you're getting it cutie," I smiled and shut the door. Now I had to deal with my husband because he wasn't getting off that ease. This morning he'd avoided me by going to his office in the guest house. He may as well get it over with. I don't know why people tried to get away from me.

_**Amy's PoV**_

We arrived at the new house a little after 10 o'clock the next day. I have to admit the house is gorgeous. Though I did think, it was going to be a little bigger because, well, we were in California. The neighborhood seemed peaceful and coming into the town, I noticed that it wasn't really that small. My mother had taken Ashley and me by her potential new place of work. She seemed excited about it because it was an architectural firm. She'd been interested in architecture since before I was born. Choosing to be a housewife instead, she was forced to put off her dream. Now that she had no choice but to work now, she would get her chance.

Ashley and I had talked my mom into letting us stay at home from school for the first couple of days, but she wasn't having it Friday. I didn't want to stay at home with her anyway, not in the mood she was in. Most of our stuff had been unpacked and the rest of the boxes we had were really nothing but old junk that dad had saved. Instead of throwing it out though, we put it in the garage for safekeeping. We weren't quite ready to throw dad's things away yet. His possessions had too many sentimental values to us.

Ashley and I had arrived at school a few minutes before the first bell rang because we had to pick up our schedules. Hers had been printed and ready to go, but mine was going to take a while. I told Ashley that she should go ahead and find her class and that I would be fine. Besides, I wasn't really willing to go to my class anyway. I hated the feeling of being a new student, not because I didn't know anyone, but because teachers always thought that it was cool for you to introduce yourself to the entire class. I know I really didn't have much experience being a new student, but I'd seen the movies.

I sluggishly made my way down the hallway while looking down at my schedule. The first bell finally rang and students briskly made their way through the school chatting away. I felt my body crash into something hard and fleshy, and then my binder, along with its contents, went flying.

"I'm sorry," I said bending down and picking up my belongings. I never really looked at the person I ran into, but I did see their hand reaching down to help me pick up my things.

"No it's fine," A male voice said to me. The voice had a lot of authority and cockiness in it and I needed to see the face that came with it. My eyes hit a vision of beauty with a head full of dark hair. He was still picking up my things while I was gawking at him.

"I should've been watching where I was going," I said standing up with the things that had just been acquainted with the floor. He looked at me and smirked while handing me the rest of my belongings. I stuck my hand out to him and he snickered before taking it. "I'm Amy. I'm new here, if you haven't noticed?" I figured why not make a new friend when the opportunity was right in front of me.

"I'm Ricky and believe me, I noticed," He said with a smile still on his face. I looked behind him to see a Hispanic girl shooting daggers through me. She lightly pushed him aside, forcing our hands to part. My hand fell to my side, slapping against my hip. I figured that she was crazy first, but in my gut, I felt that there was something deeper than that going on between them. She shoved her hand in mine, pulling it from its place on my hip.

"I'm Adrian," she said still shooting daggers at me and squeezing my hand tight. I kept a grimace from forcing its way through my façade. "Ricky and I are in a relationship," I glanced behind her and Ricky was rolling. Obviously, he was used to this kind of thing. I looked back at her and she sent me a silent message, marking her territory.

"Congratulations," I said smartly, smiling at her. "I'm Amy by the way," I said reintroducing myself to her. She waved her hand as if she were trying to get rid of an odor.

"Yeah, yeah, I know who you are. You moved in the house across from mine, I saw you and the rest of your family moving things the other day," I didn't like the curt tone that she had with me. I had a feeling that she and I were going to be enemies for a long time. It was going to be one hell of a ride living across from her.

"Really? Well, it looks like we'll being seeing more of each other outside of school," Ricky said over her head. Her eyes went wide for a moment and then she turned to him quickly. He looked down at her and shrugged his shoulders.

"Come on Ricky, we have to get to class," She said grabbing his hand and hauling him down the hallway.

"I see you've met my brother," A perky voice said behind me. I turned around to see a blonde girl smiling at me. "I'm Grace," She said sticking out her hand. My hand needed a rest from all this shaking it was doing.

"Amy," I said with a smile. Something about her made me feel breezy. She looked at my schedule and snatched it off my binder. A bigger smile formed on her face and her, slightly, large eyes found mine.

"Looks like we have three classes together, English, Math, and A&P, would you mind if we walked together to the first?" She asked. I shook my head and she beamed. She intertwined our arms and we began an easy walk to our first class. Looks like I've just made my first friend.

_**Ricky's POV**_

I turned back to gape at Amy while I walked off with Adrian. I could tell that she was different from the other girls at this school. She was able to stand up to Adrian without being scared and I could tell Adrian didn't like it.

"What are you looking at?" Adrian's voice leaked venom as she tightened her hand around mine. I smiled at her and kissed her on the forehead. It was cute that she got all defensive over me, but it was also, somewhat annoying. She was why many girls didn't like speaking to me, even if I were the one to start the conversation. Some of them would look at me with fear and others would just ignore me period.

"Honestly, I was admiring Amy's beauty and realized that she couldn't hold up against you," Which was a lie. Adrian was an attractive girl on the outside, but on the inside, she was a snake. I could tell that Amy was beautiful inside and out.

"You're damn right she can't. Look at her, playing innocent," I knew when Adrian was on a rant it was hard to stop her so I just let her talk. I would eventually tune her out and start thinking about something else.

I thought about my dad and his "career". We had talked about me joining him the other day, but I really wasn't interested. Sure, the thought of having so much power made me high with the thought of what I could do with it, but truthfully, it wasn't my thing. I know that following in his footsteps was expected of me, but I couldn't. I'd thought about it, practically, every night. I never told him that I wouldn't join him, but I knew that he had his doubts.

"Ricky, are you listening to me?" Adrian stated angrily snapping me out of my reverie. I shook my head yes and she smirked. "Then what is it, does she or does she not?" I rolled my eyes at myself and sighed. "I knew it, you weren't listening. You were probably thinking about that skank,"

"Adrian, don't start. I really don't want to hear this from you today. It sort of gets annoying," I said kissing her forehead again before walking into my first class of the day. Of course, she followed me in, all the way to the back of the room where my desk was. Ben looked up at me and I gave him a don't ask look.

"So now I'm annoying? I'm annoying because I'm angry that you were talking to another girl?"

"It was innocent. I was helping her pick her stuff up from the floor," I could hear the agitation slide through my tone.

"I'm sure she could have picked it up herself. She didn't look handicapped," She said folding her arms.

"Well, I thought it would be nice to help her since it was my fault her things were on the floor in the first place. Now stop acting like a jealous bitch," I emphasized the last word and those that were in the class turned to look at me. Adrian's mouth dropped open and then she stormed out of the classroom. Everyone's eyes watched the back of Adrian's head as she left. I threw my hands in my head and sighed. _Great_ I thought.

"Well done Ricky," Ben said and I could hear the grin in his voice. I should've know that he would enjoy this. I pulled my head out of my hands and glared at him. His grin faded and he turned back towards the front. It was going to be hell trying to apologize to Adrian. First, she wasn't going to talk to me for about two days, which I'm sure my mom would be particularly happy with. Then she was going to tell Grace that I called her a bitch, which wasn't necessarily true, and Grace would be upset with me. She would hold out for about a week, unless I stayed at her house again to have sex and talk about our problems, but that was out of the question. I had already been caught once and my mom was serious about me staying the night with Adrian. Maybe Ben had some advice, he did date that Italian girl for a while and their relationship seemed great, well, until she went back to Italy.

"So Ben, as you can see I'm really going to have to apologize to Adrian, so what should I do?" Ben snickered. I guess he thought it was humoring that I was asking for his advice. It was rare that I ever needed it.

"Seriously Ricky? Don't you usually apologize to her by sleeping with her?" I rolled my eyes and smirked mockingly.

"That only works if I'm able to stay with her overnight and talk about why she's angry with me afterwards, but that won't be happening in the near future. Mom kind of found out that I'd stayed over there the other night and you know how she feels about things like that," Ben's eyes widened quickly and then went back to normal. He knew all too well about my mother's rules. Ben had stayed with us for a month during summer once, when he was dating Maria. He'd made the mistake of letting her stay overnight at our house and when my mom found out she went ballistic. That's the last time Ben stayed at our house for that long.

"Maybe you could get her flowers. Girls like to get flowers, or jewelry,"

"I am not getting her jewelry because it wasn't that serious and Adrian isn't really the type to forgive you if you give her a daisy," I commented sarcastically.

"Well then I guess you're just out of luck pal," Ben said patting my back. I looked at him menacingly. _Yeah, big help friend. _I could always count on Ben to not help me at all.

_**Anne's POV**_

Maybe it was a mistake to bring the girls out here. I wasn't sure about to many thing anymore, especially after losing George. My mind seemed to always be in shambles now. Sometimes I would black out and forget things. The girls didn't know about this minor condition and I really didn't plan on telling them. I didn't want them to be stressed over something that was being taken care of.

The therapist in Texas had told me that I should start a new leaf and I was, along with my girls. Although they didn't seem too fond of leaving Texas, especially Ashley. I knew it was the right move though. This was what they needed a fresh start and a new life. After George's death, they changed, Ashley for the worse, Amy for the better. Before George's murder, Amy never spent as much time at home that she does now. She used to get into trouble with her friends all the time. I'd even seen her drink once and that was something you never wanted to see your child do. I did talk to her about it after I'd seen it. She'd said that she would never do it again, but she did. I was relieved that she didn't do it anymore after she lost her father.

Ashley's change was what scared me. She was so negative all the time. Sometimes I hated being around her and that's horrible to say considering she's my daughter. I remembered when she used to be so positive all the time, when she actually had a colorful wardrobe, now she wore those dreary dark colors. I was hoping California would change her. I'd hoped it would change all of us, our whole world.

**Tell me what you think of this chapter guys, it'll get better I promise. I just needed some fillers until the next chapter. Please Review :) **


	3. Not Invited

**None of the Characters in this story belong to me they were created by Brenda Hampton. I do own Joseph though. **

**Author's Note: ****So I want chapter or 6 to be a fan choice chapter, I want you guys to choose what happens so be thinking of a few things to tell me. If you want more betrayal then I'll give it to you, if you want a fight I'll give it to you. Anything could happen, it's up to you. Just send me your suggestions in PM. Now off to the story.**

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><p>Amy's PoV<p>

I'd spent the night in my room shedding tears into my soft pillow for my dad. I had never really had a chance to cry for him alone, and now here I was on a Friday night thinking of him, missing him. He'd always been there for me and now that he was gone, no one was on my side. Mom was so busy making sure Ashley didn't fall into some sort of depression that it seemed as though she had forgotten about me. Although it has been a few weeks since we moved here and Grace had quickly become my best friend, I couldn't talk to her about it. She didn't even know my dad was dead, she just thought he was some sort of businessman and he was always on a trip. I liked that she didn't badger me about him, I knew that she had a clue that something wasn't right. Adrian on the other hand knew that my dad was deceased because she'd found out from my mother after sashaying her way into my kitchen for a "meet and greet".

To say I hated that girl was an understatement. The first time that I'd met her she threw off a bad vibe. Every single day of school, she made it her duty to try to humiliate me or feel Ricky up in front of me, as if I wanted him. I was the least bit interested in Ricky. The only time I'd ever talked to him was the first day I'd arrived at Grant High School. Besides, Ricky wasn't my type anyway. He dated girls like Adrian so that was definitely a turn off. Plus, this guy named Jesse had asked me out on a date and he was pretty cute. I hadn't accepted his date yet, but I was thinking about it. I needed to get out of this house, out of this dull atmosphere and he was offering to take me away from it for a night. I hadn't been out much since my dad's death and I think it would do me good to begin to get back into the world.

A brisk knock hit my door and I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes. It really wasn't in my interest to have a heart to heart with anyone right now. Sitting up on my bed, I reached over and pulled my laptop into my lap. I opened it and cleared my throat once more to make sure that my voice wouldn't crack and give away my previous activity. I grabbed my iPod from my bedside table and stuck the headphones into my ears as I turned it on. Another knock came to my door, louder this time.

"Come in," I said nonchalantly waiting for the visitor to come in from the other side of the door. Slowly the door opened and my mom stepped into my room. Her hair was wild with small curls and her face was lightly touched with makeup. I eyed her black pencil skirt and her gray blouse.

"What were you just doing in here?" She said looking deep into my eyes. I knew that she saw through me so I averted my eyes back to the computer screen and clicked on things like a mad woman. I shrugged my shoulder and huffed. "I knocked earlier and you didn't answer me."

I pointed to my headphones and smiled weakly. "Had my headphones on mom, couldn't really hear anything," She turned her head and said something inaudible. The awkwardness was beginning to smother me. I have to admit that as soon as she walked into the room that it was weird. I felt like she was trying to hide something but I wasn't completely sure what it was.

"So, Ashley and I are going out to celebrate the move, you want to come? It'll be fun, like a girl's night out," I looked up and saw her smiling at me. She didn't want to leave this house anymore than I did, but she was trying to make Ashley and I happy.

"No thanks mom, I'm fine. I think I'll just sit here and… uh… research a few things on the computer," I said hesitantly. It wasn't that I wouldn't enjoy being in her company, I just wouldn't enjoy being in Ashley's. She was obviously going for a Goth look and it bothered me. I don't judge her or anything, but it's just a large tumble from where she used to be.

"Come on Amy, you have to start living again," She said with pity. I took offense to this and realized that it was true. My body tensed and I could feel heat rushing up my spine. I wasn't angry, it was just hard blow to my feelings.

"Mom I am living, I'm living way more than people are in this house anyway. What do you expect me to do forget about him? I can't just jump back into living knowing that my dad is _dead_," The words fell harshly through my lips as I spoke. I saw my mom slightly flinch under my statement. I hadn't meant to make her upset, it just happened. I'd worked on my quick attitude long ago and had learned to control it, but lately I was getting back to the old stages of my life.

"I'm sorry Amy, I know it's hard for you, but it's hard for us too. No, I don't expect you to forget about him, but you need to accept that he's not coming back. Do you think your dad would want you to stop living because he's not here anymore?" She said standing up. I shut my computer and looked up at her.

"Doesn't matter, it's not like he knows anyway, he's dead, remember?" I said coldly. My mother looked at me with complete confusion and then stormed out of my room. I sighed and laid my head back on my headboard. My mother and I barely had normal conversations anymore. She would usually bring up dad, which would cause me to go into a funk and bring everyone else down with me.

I heard the small sound of footsteps and then I heard a door close. I assumed that it was the front door. When I was sure that my mom and Ash had left, I went downstairs into the kitchen to prepare myself a snack. My mother had gone grocery shopping a few weeks ago and all she bought was junk food. I didn't really have a problem with it, but it wasn't really like her. She was the healthy type. The only time Ashley and I really ate junk food was at school, parties or somewhere else, she couldn't see us.

I looked up from the chips that I was pouring into a bowl and saw someone standing at my door. Of course, it was none other than Adrian, but she had a guest with her, Grace. I smiled towards Grace not wanting to focus on Adrian and walked towards the kitchen door. Twisting the cold knob I invited _Grace _in and was tempted to slam the door in Adrian's face. Smirking at me Adrian loosely followed behind Grace and took a seat at my kitchen table. I rolled my eyes at her back and shot daggers through her empty soul.

"So Grace, what brings you to my humble abode on a Friday night?" I said grabbing my chips off the counter and then taking a seat beside Grace. I was going to avoid Adrian's presence as much as I could.

"Well, I haven't been to your house yet and I wanted to see it, so Adrian offered to bring me over. I hope it's okay that we came over unannounced," Grace said reaching over the table and snagging one of my chips out of the bowl. For a small thing Grace could really eat. I noticed the first time we at lunch together at school, she devoured to sandwiches and a large bag of chips. I thought she was pregnant, but she was just a hungry girl.

"Oh it's fine Grace. It's not like I was doing anything, just doing a little internet browsing. You though, I thought you would be out on a date or at a party," She shrugged her shoulders and cocked her head to the side at the same time. I heard Adrian chuckle as she got up and helped herself to the snacks in our refrigerator.

"Help yourself, my house is your house," I said at her sarcastically. If Grace wasn't here I probably would have told her off, but I knew she was Grace's best friend before Grace was mine. I had to respect her while Grace was around, but my fuse was short. I don't know how long I can last.

Grace cut Adrian off before she could speak. "I don't really like parties that much. They sort of make me… nervous. All those teenagers grinding and drinking, it's not really my scene, now my brother on the other hand, he loves them," She rolled her eyes and huffed. What teenager wouldn't like to party? I know that I used to love to revel before the incident. "Besides, no one is really throwing a party tonight, no one important," She continued.

"So you spend every Friday night at home doing nothing?" I asked.

"Not really. If Adrian's home I usually go over to her house and stay the night with her, but she's always on the phone with Ricky," Grace rolled her eyes. I scoffed inwardly. It had to be hard for your best friend to date your brother. I knew Grace hated that she didn't get to spend as much time with Adrian just talking like she wanted to. They probably always wound up talking about Ricky. "And the things they talk about," she shivered and I laughed.

"Oh come on virgin Mary you'll get over it," Adrian said. "Speaking of virgin, Amy are you… you know a virgin?" She smirked, leaned over the counter, and looked intently at me. My body tensed uncomfortably at her personal question. I felt like she was trying to bait me for something humiliating.

"Adrian that's none of your business," Grace snapped her head towards her. How did she tolerate this girl? My first meeting with her was hell; Grace spent almost every waking moment with this chick.

"No Grace it's okay. I don't mind if she knows if I am or not and I'm not," I shrugged my shoulders and smiled at Adrian. There was nothing I had to hide from her because my life didn't really have juicy details, well most of my life. "I don't know why it matters to her anyway."

"Oh sweetie it doesn't matter to me if you are or not because you're still not going to get Ricky," Grace looked at me, squinted her eyes in confusion. Once again, I rolled my eyes at Adrian. Could she not hear how stupid she sounds? Why was she so worried about me going after Ricky?

"Adrian, I do not want Ricky okay? I don't even talk to him so stop being paranoid," Her nostrils flared and her face furrowed into an expression of Anger. "Wow," I said chuckling coldly. "I must really be a threat. What? Are you scared he's going to leave you for something better? Cause Adrian I'm sure everyone can see how cute of a couple we would make. I'm innocent, he's, well, not and opposites attract. Besides, I think you're old news. I bet after Ricky first met me he's thought about me every night he was with you," I said smirking coldly with no remorse. Grace gasped and her eyes grew wide and Adrian let out something similar to a growl and stormed out of my kitchen. The window on the door rattled when she slammed it. I laughed almost uncontrollably and stood up. "Come on Grace do you want to see the rest of my house?" I said still giggling.

"I most certainly do not," She said folding her arms and putting on a look of anger. "I can't believe you just did that. Now she's going to be pissy all night long and she's probably going to call Ricky and they'll be arguing," I rolled my eyes at her and kept the smile on my face.

"Grace you have to admit that was funny. Besides, I was only joking, do you really think I want Ricky? I was just tearing down her ego a little bit. She needed that trust me. I have no intention on dating your brother, or sexing him up," Grace stared at me and then she broke. I heard a small snicker leave her lips.

"Okay it was pretty funny. No one has ever spoken to Adrian like that. I've barely seen the girl flinch,"

"Well, she better get used to it, because I rarely hold my tongue," I said lacing my arm with hers while we moved through my home.

Ricky's PoV

Was it wrong to be thinking about another girl while I was with Adrian? Probably, probably not, was it wrong for me to be thinking about any girl while I was with my dad? A definite yes, he could always tell when I was thinking about the opposite sex. Of course, he knew, all men knew. I'd been with him all day making "business" runs to and from the warehouse. Things were picking up around the city, crime and then some. After George's death, many people were angry. People wanted to know who killed the beloved George Juergens and we couldn't possibly tell them we did it. George had gotten into a sticky situation with the cops and he needed to be taken out quick, so he was. I'd been the one to pull the trigger and to say I felt guilty would probably be a lie, it almost, felt good. I was in control at that moment the gun fired it only took one shot. My dad was right; having power was a beautiful thing.

"So what about the family Ricky?" My dad said from behind his desk. His sharp blue eyes cut into me trying to get information about something that I was confused about. I'd zoned out for about the twentieth time today.

"Huh?" I asked stupidly. My thumb rubbed across the keys on the laptop and I looked down. I still couldn't remember what I was supposed to be doing.

"The family? George's family, how are they doing? Stirring up anything?" He flooded my ears with questions. I finally remembered what I was doing and looked back at the computer.

"Oh yeah, yeah, no, the computer says they moved, but it doesn't say where yet. Maybe they knew about George and are scared they're next," I said smirking. The memory of him begging to spare his family wiped the smirk off my face. I sighed staring at the blurry pictures of the Juergens clan. In the picture, there were three people, all women. The photo was black and white, for what I had no idea. I knew I had seen one of the body's that was in the picture somewhere though. Trust me; I would remember a girl who looked like that. Thinking back to every party or event I'd went to I tried to remember the figure. Nothing occurred.

"Nah I doubt it. I don't think they even knew George was affiliated with the mafia, in any aspect. All they knew was that he owned a furniture store," He said looking at his computer. I shrugged my shoulders. How could a man not tell his family that he was affiliated with the mafia? Did he know how dangerous it was for them not to know? They walked around unprotected never looking over their shoulder, but maybe that was a good thing. Who would want to live like that? I sure didn't, there was no choice for me though. This was practically in my blood, the mafia. "I hate to ask you this because I'm afraid to hear the answer, but why have you been so distracted today? If someone is pregnant, please do _not_ tell me. I don't want to feel Hurricane Nora when she blows through because of course she's going to find out," I inwardly laughed at his fear of my mom.

"No, no one is pregnant, I'm just thinking about things," I reassured him and he leaned back in his chair sighing with relief. Why did people have so little faith in me? I wasn't that bad was I? My mind made its way back to Amy and I wondered what she was doing. This was ridiculous; I haven't even held one conversation with this girl.

"Things like Grace's new friend Amy?" Joseph glared at me and grinned. He was enjoying this too much.

'No, just things," I said. He knew I was lying, he always knew. I rubbed my fingers through my hair. I had to get this chick out of my head, it wasn't right to be thinking about her while I was with Adrian. Slowly I ran my fingers threw my hair and sighed. How could I just be thinking about this girl like this? This was new for me because I'd never thought about anyone so hard.

"That bad huh?" Joseph said grinning at me. He had no idea. Besides, Jesse is crazy about Amy.

_You don't care, _my conscience shouted at me.

_Yes, I do, _I responded back to it. I was the type of guy who just took another guys girl, well, actually I was, but it was different with Jesse, we were friends. He would be angry with me if I allowed myself to talk to angry and he's not the only one. Adrian would probably castrate me and Grace would be torn between her best friend and her brother. The only person that wouldn't be upset with me would probably be my mom and Ben. Why was I even thinking about this? _I don't want Amy, _I scolded myself.

_Yes you do, _stupid conscience never agreed with what I had to say because it was always right.

Adrian's PoV

No one has ever spoken to me like that before. Who does Amy Juergens thing she is? I should've held my ground, but I couldn't stand it anymore. If Grace wouldn't have been there I would have slapped that grin right off Amy's beastly face. How could Ricky actually be interested in something like her? Obviously, he couldn't see all the issues that she had. Surely, I was going to point them out. No way in hell was I going to allow Amy to take my boyfriend from me. Although I didn't really love him, he was still my major plan for the future.

I didn't have much money, he did. I didn't have connections, he did. Ricky was the only thing that I needed. Sure, I wasn't in love with him, but I did respect him. Ben, though, I was really in love with him. He would come to my house and we would have our midnight rendezvous, if Ricky found out he would kill Ben and I both. I used to hate that I was risking losing it all, but that made it more fun, the risk. I hope that Grace won't find out because she would die. She was head over heels for Ben Boykewich and even he seemed as though he could be in love with Grace. Eventually, I would let Ben go to her just to be a good sport, but for right now, I wanted him and Ricky. I will _not_ let Ricky fall into Amy's trap.

The only way to stop him though was to make Amy the way that Ashley said she used to be. Amy with mommy and daddy issues, Amy with anger problems, this girl was a mess. She wasn't as innocent as she tried to make people think she was, trust me I know. Amy just wants people to think she's like that because she's afraid of what people would say. I was so glad Amy had a sister who was friendless because it just made it so much easier for her to open up to me. I wonder how Amy would feel once she found out about my chats with Ashley; Sisters at war with one another how fun? Now all I had to do was wait until the right time to strike.

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><p><strong>Okay guys so please review, I know it's been a long time and I apologize. I've been so bogged down with school and I've been stressed. I promise the next chapter won't take this long. Actually I had it done 3 days ago but my frickin' computer deleted the ending I had and it was <em>sooooooooooooo<em> good, now I don't remember it, but that's enough of my ranting. REVIEW!**


	4. Small Voices

**Brenda Hampton owns the secret life of the american teenager (and all characters), but I own this story **

**Amy's PoV**

"Why haven't you called me?" Jesse said standing behind me as I stood at my locker. I smiled as I grabbed my calculator and then turned to face him. Lately, I haven't been paying him much attention.

"Sorry Jesse I've been so busy at home," I said shrugging. It wasn't the fact that I was busy, other things had been on my mind. Jesse sighed and leaned on the locker beside mine, blocking my path. He pushed my hair behind my ear and a tingle went down my spine.

"What about tonight? Are you busy tonight?" He asked politely with a smile in his eyes. I bit my lip trying to think of an excuse. Although I really liked Jesse, I didn't want to be put in a position where the old me came back for a visit.

"I'll get back to you on that," Trying to walk around him while smiling, I bumped into a frantic red-head. My heart began to beat heavily inside its cavity and I felt rage coming on. Recently, I've found that its been getting harder and harder to keep myself under control. "Watch where you're going," I shouted and everyone ceased.

"Sorry," she said in a whisper while blushing. Ashamed of myself, I ducked around the corner and went into the restroom. It was embarrassing for me to lose myself, even for that small moment. I'm sure the girl didn't mean to bump into me, besides I was the one who wasn't watching where I was going. An apology was definitely necessary.

_But she's the one who bumped into you Amy, you should have slapped that bitch, _a small voice in my head said. I'd been doing well shutting that voice out, but little things were starting to set it off.

Looking into a mirror in the empty bathroom, I really looked at myself, searched myself.

"Okay Amy, you are better than this. You don't need to stoop down low to make yourself feel better. Let you control you, don't let the emotions do it," I told myself. A therapist had told me that it was best to talk the anger down, let it know that it doesn't run your life. I hadn't used this method in a couple years, never had to. Turning the sink on, I filled my hand with cold water and then threw it in my face. Of course this wasn't a good idea because my clothes would get wet and sure enough they did, but only a little. Letting out one last, long, breath I pulled myself together.

Walking outside the bathroom I saw Jesse standing near the door. I took notice of the void hallway and began to walk towards my algebra class. He followed behind me hesitantly. I wasn't really in the mood to talk because I usually liked peace and quiet when I was trying to reset my mind to happiness.

"So… what was that about?" I knew he would ask. Rolling my eyes inwardly I shrugged. This wasn't something I liked to talk about because it was disgraceful. Long ago it didn't seem disgraceful though, it was what it was, me.

"Nothing," I said looking straight ahead. I had a small inkling that he wouldn't drop it and what do you know?

"It had to be about something. I mean one minute you're smiling and then you snap. What kind of issues do you have?" The question was supposed to be sarcastic, but it made my heart begin to anger again. I took a long deep breath and hoped that my voice wouldn't come out sounding upset.

"I don't have issues, she just caught me by surprise that's all. I wasn't trying to sound mean or anything. Besides, I was distracted," I said smoothly. I hoped that this would avert his mind to another subject. I heard him chuckle behind me.

"Well, look this is my class, so I guess I'll see you at lunch," I heard the smile in his voice.

"Maybe," I said not looking back at him.

I sat in my Algebra class, but I found it hard to concentrate especially with that Ben guy gawking at me. Numerous times I had thrown him smiles, yet, he still wouldn't quit looking. In my head I gave him the finger, wishing I could do it physically without being sent to the office.

Staring at the guys head in front of me I realized that he reminded me of Jimmy. I hate to admit that I was starting to miss him. Our relationship had started off so well and then after Dads death it went down the drain. My whole life went down the drain.

"What are you doing?" I snapped out of my reverie and turned to Ben who was towering over my desk. Looking around I saw that everyone else in the room was sitting in groups of two. Great. Ben pulled a desk beside mine trapping me.

"Uh… sitting here…" I stated stupidly.

"No I mean what are you doing later on tonight?" His question took me aback and I'm sure the expression on my face told him.

"I don't know. Why?" I asked suspiciously. I barely knew this kid was he really about to ask me on a date? Well, I guess I barely knew Jesse, but he didn't stare at me like a stalker would. Ben chuckled and then sat down in the desk he'd dragged over to mine.

"There's this party tonight and I'm supposedly supposed to be helping with the guest list. So if you're not busy tonight come have some unadulterated fun," I sighed relief. A party didn't sound to bad. Besides I'm not sure what Anne would say about it.

_So you're calling her Anne again Amy, _Shit. Where was this stupid voice coming from? I needed to talk myself out of wanting to go to that party. If he wouldn't have used the words "unadulterated fun" I would've been able to say no.

"A party on a Tuesday night?" I asked trying retract my desire to let loose and have a few sips of alcohol tonight. A party on Tuesday wasn't the problem, a party any night wasn't the problem, not for me.

"Yeah, so you coming?" A war was going on inside of me between good and evil. Damnit.

**Madison's PoV **

I hadn't meant to run into the girl, but she made me, Adrian. She said that it would benefit me, so far it hasn't. The glare in the girls eyes was one I had seen before, she was pissed. I thought she was going to kill me right there. It was embarrassing because everyone in the hallway had stopped as soon as she shouted at me. People already thought of me as clumsy or the loser, Amy was just one more person to add to the list.

If Lauren would have been around she would have told me not to listen to Adrian, but she was just as afraid of her as I was. That skank could put the fear of _God_ in anyone. She had that type of presence, but Amy her glare was ice cold and I knew that she was just as bad as Adrian somewhere deep inside. I couldn't even hold her glare for a millisecond. Something inside of me told me that Adrian couldn't either, well maybe to a certain extent. Everyone already knew that she saw Amy as a threat to she and Ricky's relationship. Hell, she was a threat. I'd seen them in the hallway the first day she'd gotten here. He looked at her in a way that he had never looked at Adrian before. Anyone could tell he was interested, what boy wasn't?

Sometimes when he would walk with Adrian in the hallway I was would see him absentmindedly looking towards Amy. Amy would never look at him thought, maybe it was because she was so busy with Jesse, the second cutest boy in school.

Lauren had almost had a chance with Jesse once, but she blew because she just had to date that Daniel guy. Well, I guess it's okay seeing as they're still together. I, on the other hand, have been lonely since I entered this stupid school. Maybe if I did enough dirty work for Adrian, she would find me someone.

**Anne's PoV**

Knowing George's participation in the mafia was the heaviest thing on my heart. I was afraid and I wished I'd never gotten involved with him. It was hard hiding from the girls that their father was associated with murders and the like. George had told me before we'd gotten married and I still stayed with him, I was in love, still am.

Ashley had found out about George one year before his murder. Often times we talked about it, then and now, when Amy wasn't around. Ashley said it was best if Amy didn't know because she couldn't handle something like that. She would spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder. Trust me that was no life to live. It's stressing and it puts you in bad health.

"Hi Mrs. Juergens, I'm Dr. Bowman," The tall blonde man said to me with his hand stuck out. I took it in mine and shook it nervously.

"Just call me Anne, Mrs. Juergens is too formal and it makes me sound old," I laughed curtly. His smile touched his eyes, something I hadn't seen in years.

"Okay Anne, well we're going to run a few tests on you," He said explaining things to me. I zoned out and thought about how it would be for my girls if I spent every waking moment in a hospital bed.

My headaches had become frequent and I was vomiting a lot. I didn't think it as anything but the flu, something though, told me I needed to go get checked out. Now here I was in this cold, desolate room waiting to see what was in store for my future.

Okay guys here's chapter 4. Please review this chapter, please please please! And remember I want Chapter 6 to be a fan choice so send, along with your reviews, one of these choices (below)- and please also send suggestions I _**may**_ put one in the story:

The setting of Chapter 6: Whose PoV:

A. Grace's House A. Amy's/ Ricky's

B. The Beach B. Ben's/ Adrian

C. Amy's House C. Other

D. Other D. All the Above


	5. Dirty Little SecretPretty Little Liar

**Sadly, Brenda Hampton owns everything about secret life of the American teenager, well, everything but this fan fic, take that!**

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><p><strong>Authors Note<strong>: I want to thank everyone for reading this so far. I have really enjoyed getting your reviews. It really makes me feel good and it motivates me. If it weren't for all of you faithful readers and reviewers, I probably would've given up on this story. Thank you guys and I plan on making this story as long as possible, so please stay with me on this one and the other one also if you read that one (Call it What You Want), if you don't you should. I should be updating that soon. Also, if you have a story, I would love to read it and review it. Now off to Chapter 5.

**Amy's PoV**

The night was cold and breezy as I stood in front of the gigantic house. Lights flashed and flickered as I heard the music booming through the thick brick walls. Although I tried to talk myself out of being here tonight, I knew it wouldn't be possible. I hadn't been to a party; it seemed like, in ages. My body missed the way the rhythm of the music moved seductively through it. I'd become so accustomed to partying. The way I used to go out put a new meaning to "your never home". My mom thought I was out relaxing with a few friends. Ashley knew where I was because I told her to cover for me. She seemed a little put off with the idea of me reveling once again, but I knew she wouldn't want me to get in trouble, she never did.

Still standing on the porch, I let a few people pass. For some reason I was still trying to talk myself out of going in. That wasn't going to happen. I was only prolonging my fun time. Though I hated attending the gathering alone, no one else wanted to go with me. Jesse so claimed that he would have, but he had a paper to do, wimp. Grace wasn't into parties so there was no need to invite her. I did text her for the directions though.

Finally building up the courage to go in, I opened the door slowly. The atmosphere of the party, as well as the fog from the fog machine, slapped my soul and I no longer had mixed feelings about being here. This house had become my paradise, the loud music, the dancing, the drinking; this was what I craved, what I missed. Even though the room was dark, I could see the outline of bodies gyrating only the way teenagers knew how. A smile graced my face as I took in my surroundings. A door at the end of the hallway gaped open and I saw the reflection of a pool. Gathered around it were at least fifty people. To my right, in the kitchen, an island held a punch bowl full of red contents that, I was sure, wasn't punch. Slowly I made my way over to it and grabbed a red, plastic, cup. Touching only the tip of the medal ladle, it shocked me. I drew my hand back and accidently hit someone in the face.

"I'm so sorry," I said covering my hand with my mouth. Adrian stood behind me holding her face and inwardly I grinned. Hoping that she wouldn't cause a scene I further apologized, which killed me inside.

"You better watch your back Amy Jurgens, you don't want to make an enemy out of me," She grimaced and shoved passed me. I held back a sneer and I held my fist tight to my side praying that they wouldn't fly. I could tell she was a little tipsy so if I was going to fight her, I wanted it to be fair.

"Funny, I thought we were already enemies," I held back the urge to finish my comment with the world bitch. Adrian leaned on the counter where the sink was and chuckled lowly. She glared up at me and I held her eyes. I was definitely not going to back down from her.

"Oh believe me we're not enemies yet. If we were enemies I would be kick your ass every day I could," Her confidence was bewildering. Rolling my eyes, I chuckled.

"Now Adrian _believe me_, I may look like an innocent little weakling," I said through a cold grin, "but I've been in more physical altercations than you can imagine." I pushed my fingers angrily through my hair. Adrian sucked her teeth and stood up straight from the counter that she was leaning on. She stepped up, toe to toe, to me. We stood at the same height.

"Well how about we add another one to your list now?" I could smell the alcohol on her breath, but that didn't make me falter. My hands began to shake at my sides because they wanted to accept her challenge. I would give anything to punch her in her overdone face, but now wasn't the time. I wanted to enjoy myself. Stepping back like a punk, I wanted to slap myself. I gritted my teeth.

"There will always be time for that later," I said reluctantly. She grinned at me and I knew she thought I was backing down from her. Turning towards the living room to break away, I heard her walking behind me. Stopping in my tracks, I could feel the warmth coming from her mouth.

"That's right, run like a bitch," She said in my ear. Before I knew it, my hands found her shoulders and I shoved her so hard that she tumbled to the floor. A look of hatred flashed in her eyes. She stood on all fours and I knew she was shocked.

"Seeing as how you're on the floor on all fours I would say that you're the bitch," I smirked crookedly. I hadn't noticed that a few people were gathered behind me until I heard their gasps. Adrian got up quickly and was prepared to charge at me until a pair of arms wrapped around her waist.

"Let me go Ricky," she said furiously. I grinned coldly as she tried to force her way out of his grip. Stepping a few inches toward her, I knew she was tempted to hit me even if she had to hit Ricky first. "I just want to hit her once that's all," I laughed at her effort. My eyes connected with Ricky's and my cold laugh transformed into a cool smile. My heart began to thump sporadically so I quickly turned my focus back towards Adrian.

"I think you should let her go," I said not daring to look at Ricky. "If not, I have more things to do than talk all night," I said shrugging. He still held her tightly and instantaneously my body was jealous. Mentally, I smacked myself because I was not into Ricky Castel. One last evil grimace at Adrian and then I smoothly shifted through the crowd that had formed behind me. Well, if they wanted a show they got one. I couldn't help but wonder how long they had stood there watching us.

Making my way towards the backyard, I realized that I still had the cup in my hand. How was that possible? All that bickering and then the shove and I still managed to have the little red cup in my grasp. That's what usually happens when I get upset. I can only focus on what made me angry and anything else is invisible. That's probably why I hadn't noticed the crowd. Passing by an empty table, I set the cup down; someone would throw it away.

The cool air touched my sticky skin, lightly. Roaming around, I saw the girl that I had bumped into in the hallway. I made eye contact with her and smiled, but she quickly forced her head in another direction. The ebony girl that stood beside her glared at me and I figured that it was her friend. Dragging myself over to the two girls, I smiled once again, it didn't lighten the tension. I already had one enemy in this town, I didn't need any more. One was all I could handle for the moment anyway.

"Um hi… I'm Am-"

"Yeah we know who you are," The ebony friend stated not letting me finish. To say that ticked me off a little was an understatement. Although it was hard, I kept myself in check. The redhead glanced at me.

"Look, I just want to apologize for how I acted at school today. I shouldn't have lost it like that, I know you didn't bump into me on purpose and who's to say who bumped into whom, I wasn't paying attention and neither were you," she finally looked at me. The friend was still glaring but it was becoming softer.

"Yeah, apology accepted and it was all my fault, it really was. I'm so clumsy so I should be the one to take the blame. I'm Madison by the way," she said sticking out her hand. I shook it gently and smiled. "Oh and this is Lauren," Reluctantly the girl took my hand and shook it.

"It's nice to meet both of you and please next time I lose my marbles just look over me," I said knowing that I'd be losing a lot more than my marbles around here.

"Like you did with Adrian Lee? You really have guts to be standing up to her, that chick is crazy and hardcore," I laughed at Madison. They really had no idea what crazy and hardcore was yet.

**Ashley's PoV**

Amy was so stupid to think that I was covering for her out of my benefit. I was doing this for mom because I didn't want her to be even more stressed than she already was. Something was up with her, I could tell. She wasn't as lively and active as she usually is. The only reason I noticed, is because I spend so much time with her. Amy would probably notice to if she wasn't so busy thinking of herself.

I hate that my sister is falling back into narcissism. She never cared about mom's feelings, or dads, sneaking out in late hours of the night or not coming home until the next day. I shouldn't even be helping her tonight. I should've told mom where she was, now I feel guilty. However, I would feel guiltier if Amy was angry with me. I hated her being angry with me. In some shape and form, I sill admired her, wanted to be like her, narcissist life included. She seemed so happy in that world, got so much attention. I want to be noticed to, but the eldest came first, because she was first, her problems have always overshadowed mine. It was upsetting because she didn't even want to fix her problems, I wanted to fix mine. I didn't want to mutilate my body anymore.

Usually I covered the self-inflicted marks with bangles or a nice long sleeve, dark, sweater. Sure, I wanted fixing, but I wanted them to notice I needed fixing without looking at me physically. I wanted them to see me, actually see me. Every time I took the knife to my skin, I hated myself. I wasn't supposed to be like this. I used to be so happy and colorful.

All of this started after Amy had come home drunk from a party. It was supposed to be my night and this was the fourth time she had come in and ruined it. My mom tried to ignore her and pay attention to me, but she couldn't, I wouldn't let her. Amy was sick and out of her mind drunk. My dad left the table in the middle of our conversation and stormed to his office, not wanting to see Amy the way she was. I was left there at the table alone, nearly in tears. I loathed my sister for being such an alcoholic at the time. My mom had carried, half, dragged Amy up the stairs to her room. She looked at me with forgiving eyes. Storming upstairs behind mom and Amy, I burst into her room. My mom was beside Amy wiping her forehead with a wet towel.

I stared furiously at her. My face was hot from the madness that was building. My heart was constrained. Trying to hold myself together, I pulled at my hair.

"Why do you always do this?" I said not able to hold the steam from my voice. Amy giggled at me and my mom looked at me with warning. I could no longer hold myself.

"Ashley don't, Amy's not doing too well right now okay? You can bicker with her tomorrow," Mom said sighing. Amy stuck her tongue out at me as if she were 6-years-old. She didn't understand what was going on, not really.

"I _hate _you Amy. You knew tonight was my birthday and all you could think about was yourself. You are such a bitch. Mom and dad can't even have a fucking birthday dinner for me because you require so much of their attention," I said, ignoring how loud my voice was becoming. I was sick of her selfishness. She always got their attention when she didn't deserve it. When I deserved it, I got shit.

"Mommy, make her stop," Amy said to mom pretending to be a toddler, putting her hand over her ears and laughing. Rolling my eyes, I was tempted to jump on her and kill her. Amy wrapped her arms around mom's neck and held her tight.

"Ashley Jurgens what has gotten into you? Where did all that profanity come from?"

"Are you kidding me? Amy is drunk out of her wits and I'm the one getting in trouble. I _hate_ this family," I said shouting uncontrollably.

"Don't worry, we hate you too," Amy said smirking. She seemed so serious, like she was sober just for that moment. It had hurt me then and it still hurts now. I know she was drunk, but when people are drunk they seem to say what's been on their heart for awhile. I still recall the hot tears that ran down my cheeks as I laid my head on my pillow. Although it was a couple of years ago, I was still wounded. When Amy drunkenly pronounced her hate for me, I was pained because I had looked up to her and thought she loved me. Even after her declaration of hate for me, I wanted to be her.

"Ashley?" My mom called snapping me out of my flashback. I got up from my bed and put the knife under my pillow and throwing on my robe. Walking slowly to her room, I hoped that she would make me do something to distract me from cutting myself.

On the way, I passed by a family portrait and hung my head in shame. I couldn't even look in the eyes of the old me because I knew that she would be upset with me for letting one statement bring her down.

**Grace's PoV**

Standing in the mirror, I played with my hair. I was still contemplating going to the party. Parties weren't really my thing. Watching teenagers nearly having sex standing up was not me, but Amy was there so it couldn't be that bad. I'd been thinking about going for at least an hour and a half. It would probably be better for me to stay home. Huffing, I plopped down on my bed and gazed at the ceiling. I was so alone. Nora and my dad had decided to go on a "date" to "rekindle" their romance and I definitely didn't want to be home when they got back. Standing up again, I thought about a place that I could possibly go. The beach wasn't an option because it was late and I was a mafia princess, getting shot or kidnapped wasn't really on my priority list.

My phone vibrated on my bed and I jumped to get it. Maybe someone's inviting me to his or her house or out to eat. I doubt it though; it was Tuesday, a school night.

_You sound like a loser, _my mind told me abruptly.

_I know, _I responded back to it.

Unlocking my phone I glared at the message, that Adrian sent me.

**Adrian: **_O, my God Grace, ur friend Amy (bitch #1) jst attacked me _

I figured she was a little drunk and had gotten the message all jumbled up, but it was written out to well.

**Grace: **_X'cuse me? Come again?_

**Adrian: **_Yea u read right, she attacked __**me**__… I didn't even do anything 2 her_

**Grace: **_… R u sure u didn't provoke her… I kno how u r Adrian…_

**Adrian: **_NO! I didn't do anything, I was minding my business & out of nowhere she slapped me… slapped __**me**__ Grace _

Honestly, I didn't believe that Adrian didn't provoke Amy, she provoked everyone. I wasn't too sure I believed Amy just up and slapped Adrian either, but I would let her continue to try to persuade me.

**Grace: **_Then what happened? _

**Adrian: **_She slung me 2 the floor that __**slut**__… OMG I was so embarrassed, but every1 saw her, so I might press charges… yelp just might, since my dad is an attorney…_

**Grace: **_U will not Adrian… *rolling eyes* lol _

**Adrian: **_Okay I won't, but u kno I __**want**__ payback… u kno what, I already have payback… __**RICKY **_

**Grace: **_Will u please get over it… Amy does __**NOT**__ want Ricky n anyway_

**Adrian: **_Yea we'll see about that… anyway I have 2 go, ur brother is… well, I jus need 2 go lol_

Did she really have to insinuate that my brother and her were about to have sex? It wasn't something I needed to know.

Throwing my phone back on my bed, I sat at my desk. I should've went to that party so I could've saw what really happened. I know Adrian changed up some parts of the story, but I wish I knew which ones. I didn't see Amy as a fighter so it had to be vice versa. Adrian probably slapped Amy and shoved _her_ to the ground. Amy was so little and meek, she didn't have the strength.

Going to pick my phone up off the bed, I contemplated calling Amy. I needed to know her side of the story. Although, I probably could get it tomorrow at school, before I knew it Amy was on the other end of the line.

"Hello," she said in her rare raspy voice. She usually got that voice when she was tired. I hear noise in the background, shouting and music.

"Amy, you're still at the party?" I asked confused. It was nearly 10:30. Oh, _God_ I sound like Nora.

"Yeah Grace, you should come. I'm sure everyone will still be here when you come," She said giggling, bubbly.

"No thanks, I think I'll just hang around here… at the house. Besides, it's almost my bed time," I said too seriously.

"How old are you Grace, nine? Really bedtime? You're a teenager, live like one," I laughed at her. I hope she didn't mean be drunk all the time and sleep with everyone who had legs and a working sexual organ.

"No thanks. I was just wondering… what happened between you and Adrian at the party tonight? She text me and said you two had a spat or something?" Her breathing became heavy on the other end of the line. I may have just ignited a fire.

"I'm going to give you some advice Grace. Don't listen to anything that whore says. She probably blamed everything on me didn't she?" My eye widened at the tone in Amy's voice and I sighed. Of course, Adrian was lying. I probably just made _everything_ worse. "Yeah, I thought so," Amy said before hanging up. Maybe I was wrong about Amy being meek, _dead _wrong.

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><p><strong>Well, that's it guys. I've looked at all of your choices and, just as I thought, everyone picked Amy Ricky PoV. Yelp it's about time they talked, especially after the way Amy's heart betrayed her at the party. In addition, what did you all think about Ashley's little secret? Review, Review, Review (they motivate me). **


	6. Iris

**Brenda Hampton owns all of secret life characters **

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><p>And I don't want the world to see me<p>

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

Goo Goo Dolls

**Amy's PoV**

The icy rain kissed my fair skin, as the bitter wind caused me to shiver. Grace invited me over for a girl's night, but if I would've known, it was going to be such a cold night I never would've agreed to it. Leaving my warm house may have been the last thing on my mind. Obviously, Grace did _not _know how much I was suffering out here because she was taking her precious time coming to the door. I'd been standing here for at least five minutes. Someone had to be here. Knocking once again, I finally heard footsteps coming my way from the other side of the door. _Thank Jesus, _I thought as the door gently came open.

I'd been expecting Grace to answer the door, but this definitely wasn't her. Ricky smirked at me and stepped aside to let me in. Avoiding his eyes, I focused on the family photos on the walls surrounding me. I'd been lying to Grace, as well as a few others, about not liking him because honestly I did. The night after the party, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

"Why don't you have a seat in the living room? Grace is going to be a little late getting home, she got… caught up doing… stuff," Ricky said hesitantly. Nodding my head, I began my trek into the large, open living area. Slowly I scanned the room looking at all the intricate designs and décor. Clearly, someone in this house had perfect taste. I eased over to the creamy white couch and plopped down. I hadn't noticed that Ricky was standing so closely behind me.

"So… did Grace say anything other than she would be late?" I didn't look at him as I spoke. It was difficult to keep my eyes focused on the beautiful living room. I just wanted to be granted the opportunity to gape at him all night.

"Nope," he said quickly. There was a hint of mischief in his voice. "You want something to eat or drink?"

"Do you have something warm I could drink, like coffee or hot chocolate, I feel like I'm about to freeze to death," I said with a small chuckle.

"Yeah, I think I can get you something warm," His receding footsteps sounded off in my ear. Involuntarily, a sigh left my lips. Was it really that much pressure to be in a room with him? _Get over yourself Amy, _I thought to myself while rolling my eyes.

True, I wasn't into him before. Maybe it was the fact that he was somewhat forbidden and off limits that made me crave him. He was the enemy's boyfriend and knowing that getting with him would somehow cause her damage down the line made me feel good. That had to be the only reason I wanted him.

_You are such a liar, _I thought unbelievingly. Once again, I sighed, only this time in defeat. There was no reason to fight my heart on this one.

_Traitor, _I thought to myself hoping my feelings would get the message and relay them to my heart.

"Here you go," Ricky said snapping me out of my reverie. I took the mug from his hands not realizing how hot it might have been. Nearly dropping the mug and all its contents on the floor, I placed it on the end table beside me. I heard Ricky snicker from the left side of my body. Looking over, I saw him sitting beside me.

"It's not funny," I tried holding back a smile.

"Yeah actually it was. Did it ever occur to you to grab the handle and not the mug?" He was smirking menacingly.

"So where is Grace anyway?" I asked curiously. It wasn't that I minded Ricky's company, I didn't. This, though, was supposed to be a night for just Grace and me. It was somewhat rude for her not to be here when I arrived.

"She's with Adrian, who I'm sure, is holding her up on purpose," He said annoyingly.

"Of course," I said rolling my eyes. "I don't understand what you see in her anyway, she such a bitch," Tensing up, he glared at me. Well, it was the truth and I wasn't going to apologize for it. Surely, he had to know that Adrian was no Susie Carmichael, but definitely Angelica Pickles.

"Honestly, you both are bitchy. Shall we take a trip back to the party a couple weeks ago? You did slap her," He said defending Adrian. I'm sure that will get him brownie points later on. Adrian had lied to everyone saying I slapped her, some believed her, and some didn't.

"Okay I did _not_ slap her, it was an accident. She just happened to be standing there when a ladle shocked me and I threw my hand back. If she wasn't so damn close to me my hand wouldn't have connected with her face," I said evenly. The story sounded a little farfetched, but it was the truth. What reason would I have to slap her? Yes, I didn't like her, but I would never purposefully start anything with her.

"And everything that happened afterwards?"

"She provoked me. I warned her, but she kept on. You don't understand Ricky, when I'm mad, things happen without me being fully aware that they're happening," No one would ever understand that. It was the consequence of being a victim of anger issues.

"Do you know how crazy you sound?" Ricky said with a light smile on his lips. He was laughing at me. It always sounds crazy to the people that don't have the problem you have.

"Fine, maybe you'll find out someday, but honestly, I hope you don't. What you saw that night at the party was only a small piece of it. I've worked hard on trying to suppress it for many years, but nothing stops it," I'd never opened up like this to anyone before. Usually, I'm embarrassed about it and I fear people will judge me. Ricky though, he seemed unfazed.

"Why don't you just go to therapy or something? There has to be a reason behind it," I chuckled coldly.

"Trust me, I've been to therapy. It seems like I've had a thousand therapist and no one is able to help me. The last one I went to, he was good. He gave me a few tips to… calm it when necessary, which seems like all the time," I sighed.

"So do you lash out at people all the time? Or is it just Adrian?" And we were still talking about her because…

"Before all the therapy and stuff, I used to lash out everyday every chance I could. Now though, I try to avoid people or situations that would upset me. A lot of the time, when I'm around people I'm not too familiar with, I stay quiet. I hate it, but if I don't want to find myself in trouble, it has to happen. Adrian, stirs up angry feelings inside of me, after the altercation, it's like every time I see her, I want to punch her in the face or do something that will hurt her deeply," It was a relief to get all of this off my chest. Ricky listened and nodded. Sure, I was telling him all of this, but I would never tell him about all my other problems, all the baggage that was too heavy for even God to carry.

**Ricky's PoV**

I would never tell Amy that Grace wasn't going to be here tonight. Grace wasn't one who'd invited her to our house, I was. Two nights ago, I'd stolen Grace's phone and text Amy to invite her to a "girl's night." I needed to talk to her, needed to know this girl. It was weird that I was so interested in her, knowing that it was forbidden for me to be with her. There were two reasons in fact, one reason, I had a girlfriend who obviously hated Amy's guts and the second reason, she's a close friend of Grace. Being with her now though, listening to the sound of her beautiful voice, I was willing to look over Adrian and Grace. True, I always say I'm not in love with Adrian, but deep down I am. Adrian has been with me through everything, she knows my lifestyle and she still chooses to love me. Amy, well, I didn't even know her last name and who knows how she would react if she found out that I was a future mafia boss. I'm surprised no one has told her yet.

I watched her soft lips as they moved back and forth signifying her speaking to me. She was pouring out her feelings to me and we barely knew one another. I don't know what made her think she could tell me all this or that I would care. Somehow, though, I did find myself caring. Amy had an anger issue and I knew there had to be a reason for it. Someone had probably done something horrible to her.

_I'll kill whoever it was, _I found myself thinking. It was a thought that came from the pit of my stomach.

We'd been talking for at least two hours and once, I thought I saw her about to cry. Quickly though, she turned her head away from me.

"Anyway, my life is just a big mess," She said finishing up. She'd told me about her dad being murdered and I felt something catch in my gut. I put it off as nothing because I'm sure it was.

"Yeah, but there's a bright side to your life that some people don't have," I said looking into her eyes. There was something that I saw sitting beautifully on top of her soul.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" She said with unbelief. Humor stood exposed on her face.

"You have people in your life that love you Amy," The humor that was on her face was replaced with sadness. This time a tear actually escaped her eye and I was only a little uncomfortable. I didn't know whether I should comfort her or let her handle it herself. Then, I found myself doing something I probably shouldn't have. I used my thumb to wipe the tear that was beginning to roll down her cheek. It was as though my hand was fire, she turned her head to the side in a way that my hand was no longer on her face.

"I know, but they shouldn't, especially after everything I've put them through. My mom, she used to become so stressed because she was always worried about me. Once, she even got a stomach ulcer and my sister…" She never finished. Amy had seemed so innocent, but now, I wasn't so sure anymore. She'd put up a façade so people wouldn't see the real her. I understood why. She was trying to keep from hurting others.

"I'm sure it's a ph-"

"It is _not_ a phase Ricky. I am so sick of people telling me it's a phase because it's not. I've been like this for years, probably since I was eight-years-old and _yes_ it seems im_possible_ that I could be such an angry child, but I was," Amy had stopped crying. She looked back at me and I could tell she was desperate. I didn't know that this type of stuff had such an effect on people. She'd used the word bipolar a few times during our talk, but I didn't think that was the case.

It was quiet between us for a while. The silence wasn't awkward; it was needed. I knew that she was trying to pull herself back together. She pulled her legs up to her chest and laid her head on her knees. We stared at one another for a while and then, once again, she turned away from me.

At that moment, I wished that I'd met her before I even knew who Adrian was. Have I been planning to spend my life with the wrong person?

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><p>Okay people; tell me how you like it in reviews. It took me a while to figure out how I wanted to start this off, but when I finally did, everything just started flowing together. If anyone was wondering, I got the title of this chapter from the Goo Goo dolls song entitled Iris. I thought it fit this chapter well. So please, as I said before, review!<p> 


	7. Sorry, I Thought I Knew You

**Anne's PoV**

I'd been expecting Amy to come home last night, but when I woke up this morning, there was no sign of her. She never indicated that she would be spending the night at Grace's house. It was logical though, that she may have fallen asleep over there, I'm sure they had a late night. Picking up the phone, I called Amy's phone. She didn't answer on the first few rings, but then, her groggy voice was present in my ear.

"Hello?" I could see her rubbing her eyes to remove as much sleep as she could. This made me smile. It brought me back to the days of when she was only a toddler. I can remember the day when I woke her up for her first day of school. She was so happy then.

"Amy do you know it's 11:30, where are you? I thought you were coming home last night," Going to the buzzing coffee pot, I turned it off and poured me a cup.

"Sorry mom, I fell asleep at Grace's. I'll be home in a minute," Just as I figured. Hearing noise in the background, I heard Amy gasp.

"Okay, well you be careful," Grabbing my purse, I headed for the door. I wound up having to work this weekend, which I really didn't want to do. I'd been planning to spend the day with my girls, but David had called me in for a conference meeting.

"'Kay mom I will," Hearing the phone click, I hung mine up and placed it in the cup holder behind my cup of coffee. Reaching in the glove compartment, I retrieved my pills and took what the doctor ordered me.

I never kept my medicine in the house because I didn't want Ashley or Amy to find it. There was no need for them to be worried about me now, especially Amy. I didn't want her to have any reason to crash down on me. She'd been doing so well so far.

I'd called her last therapist without Amy's knowledge and told him of her progress. We talked for a while and he gave me a few new tips on how to keep her unprovoked. Sure, of myself though, I told him that I probably wouldn't need them. If only George were here to see how well his eldest daughter is progressing.

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I hadn't realized that I hadn't cried over him in a while. Of course, I missed him. I'd told myself that it was okay to cry because a while back I was afraid to cry over him. Thinking I had to keep it together for my family, I'd always tried to keep a straight face, that's when I found myself falling into a depression.

It took me a couple months to pull myself back together, but when I was rapidly crashing down, Amy had been the one who was holding everyone together, even though she didn't think she was. Without her constant narcissism and aggression in our lives, there was less weight on our shoulders.

Arriving at work a few minutes early, I decided that I would go to my office and grab a few things I may need for the conference. I reached an elevator right before it closed and found myself sharing the small space with a very well dressed man who had a look of determination on his face. His face seemed so familiar.

Not realizing that I was staring at him, I was at a loss for words when he smiled and waved uncomfortably. Finally I closed my mouth long enough to find that there were words there.

"I'm sorry for staring, it's just that you look so familiar," Smiling I laughed at myself.

"I could say the same thing about you," He said leaning back on a wall.

"I'm Anne Juergens," Sticking my hand out towards his, he took it hesitantly. A low chuckle left his lips and then it was as if he had seen a ghost.

"Joseph Castel,"

**Grace's PoV**

Upon entering my house from staying overnight at Adrian's I realized that no one was home. It seemed as though neither Nora nor my dad were home these days. I missed the smell of fresh muffins when I woke up in the morning.

Making my way upstairs to my room, I tripped over shoes that weren't mine that had been sitting neatly on the steps. Sighing, I didn't think twice about the shoes, I was too busy trying to get to Ricky's room to see whom he'd cheated on my best friend with. Quietly, on my toes, I inched towards his bedroom. His door was not wide open, but there was enough of a crack for me to see into his room.

The girl that lay beside him had her face in a pillow so it was hard for me to see her slutty face. Tempted to enter the room, I stopped myself. It hadn't actually looked as though anything had gone on. Both suspects were fully clothed minus shoes. I wouldn't put anything past Ricky though. Beginning to retreat from my post, I heard movement. Peaking back into the room the face that had once been in the pillow was now on the phone.

_No Way, _I thought in disbelief. Looking a way and then turning back to look at the female, I realized that she was no slut; she was Amy.

_I have no intention on dating your brother, or sexing him up, _Amy's voice said in my head as I remembered the night she declared that she didn't like my brother. I'd believed her then, but now I wasn't so sure. Wanting a closer look at the two, I had noticed that they were coming my way. Ricky had must've woken up at the sound of Amy's phone; he'd always been a light sleeper. Careful not to make any noise, I dove into the towel closet.

_What Grace, do you think you're an international super spy or something, _I said rolling my eyes at myself. It would've been so much easier to run into my room right across from Ricky's. The room would have most definitely given me a better view.

They each stepped out of Ricky's room and headed down the stairs. Making sure they were down there and no one ran back up, I followed them and stopped when I was at a perfect spot to hear. Eavesdropping wasn't really my thing, but right now, it seemed necessary.

"Thanks for everything last night Ricky," I could hear the smile in Amy's voice.

_Everything_, I thought and mouthed at the same time. I hope not everything meant what I thought it meant.

"It was no problem,"

"I feel different now that I've told someone other than a therapist about my life," She chuckled. "It's like an anvil was lifted off my shoulders or something," Ricky laughed easily. It was actually a whole-hearted laugh that I haven't heard in a while.

"Do you need a ride home? I don't see a car outside and I'm pretty sure it's a long walk; it's still pretty cold outside so…" Was he nervous? Smiling, I took a chance and peeped around the corner to see Ricky rubbing the back of his neck. Yelp, he was nervous. I moved my head back to its hiding place.

"Um… nah, I can walk, plus, I'm sure if Adrian saw your car in my drive way she would probably birth a cow," They both laughed. I snickered silently because it was the truth. If she found out about this, someone would be a victim of a horrible crime, well; I wasn't going to be the one to tell her.

Without a sound, I made my way back towards my room. Quietly I shut the door and hopped on my bed. I thought about Amy and Ricky as an actual couple and had no qualms about it. Knowing it was bad for me to think about them being together I shut the thought out.

Adrian would most likely kill Ricky and Amy both before letting them be together. Shuttering at the thought I rolled over on my bed and prayed that Adrian would never hear of this situation.

**Ben's PoV**

Is sleeping with your best friend's girlfriend really a bad thing? Sure, it was, but it was nothing I felt guilty about. Adrian had always been mind, and she always will be. I didn't have as much to offer her as Ricky did, but I could offer her something. Many times, I'd begged Adrian to tell Ricky about us, she refused. She didn't want to ruin me and Ricky's friendship that we'd built up for so long. I knew the truth though; she didn't want me as I wanted her. Rapidly, I was falling for her, hell fell for her. She'd told me that Grace was into me and I should try her, but Grace wasn't my type. Grace wasn't willing to take risks as Adrian was. I don't even know how they became friends, they're opposite. Everything about them contradicted the other.

Maybe you could say that's how Ricky and I were also, but we definitely had way more things in common, like Adrian. Days have gone by when I have wanted to tell him, just to let him know that he wasn't the only big man on campus. No, he didn't act like it all the time, but he didn't have to. By the way, all the girls swooned over him, and the way most boys feared him or wanted to be his best friend, you could tell he had the power, well so do I.

Just like his dad, my dad has money. Just like him, I have the hottest girl in school. Just like him, people were jealous of me. I could prove it; the only problem was losing all that I had gained. The best thing for me to do was just be quiet and let fate and destiny take their proper routes.

Driving down the deserted street heading to Adrian's house, I saw that new girl that I hadn't had the pleasure of being acquainted with. Adrian hated her, but everyone else seemed to think she was cool, especially Jesse. He's gaga for her, whipped. I could see why though, she was hot. Slowly, I pulled up beside her. Her small frame turned in my direction.

"Can I help you?" She asked with a small attitude. I was a little frustrated with her because she obviously thinks talk to me any way she wanted.

"I'm Ben, I've seen you around school, but I've never had a chance to introduce myself," I stuck my hand out and she hesitantly shook it. Quickly I put my free hand back on the wheel.

"Okay, I'm Amy. I'm wondering though, Ben, don't you think it's a little weird for us to be meeting like this, on the street… while you're driving," I snickered at her annoyance. It was cute.

"Nah, I don't think it's weird, it's just different. Once you get to know me, you'll realize that I do many different things," A small smile played onto her face. I'd never noticed how pretty she was, I guess its different seeing someone from so far away.

"Okay, it's good to be different… sometimes," she said jokingly. I heard her lively giggle, which made me smile.

"Yeah, yeah, so do you need a ride somewhere or anything?" I asked awkwardly. She looked down the street and scrunched her face up, looking out into the distance.

"Um, I was just on my way home, but its right down the street so I'll be fine," She bit her bottom lip and scratched the top of her head. "Thanks for the offer though," She smiled lightly.

"No problem," I said prepared to pull off. "Be careful," She nodded as I picked up speed. Through my rearview mirror, I could see her pulling out her cell phone. Amy seemed so innocent, how could Adrian not like her?

**Joseph's PoV**

When Anne introduced herself to me, it was almost shocking. Who would have thought that George's family would move to California, of all places? It made it easier for me because now I could watch them, keep surveillance. I'm sure they would be no problem though, she never knew about George, as far as I know.

"What is it?" Nora asked sitting beside me with wary written on her face.

"Nothing, do you remember my friend George?" I asked her gently. I hadn't told Nora that we'd killed George, just that he was murdered.

"Yeah, the guy that was killed," She said plainly. I'd always had a feeling that she knew we'd been his assailants, Ricky and I.

"Well, I saw his wife today; I think she and the rest of her family moved down here, from Texas,"

"That's nice… isn't it?" She was unsure of my dilemma.

"Yeah, I guess it is,"

"It doesn't seem nice for you," Nora had always been able to see through me. Maybe it was my fault because I frequently let my guard down around her. "What happened Joseph?" I wasn't sure, if I should tell her or if I should pass it off as nothing.

**Amy's PoV**

"Ash I'm home," I called out to my sister as I shut the front door. Making my way to the kitchen, I headed towards the refrigerator. Instead of making a full course breakfast, I pulled out a carton of milk and a box of cereal from the top of the fridge. Ashley dragged herself to the table and sat down. Grabbing an extra bowl, I fixed my sister some cereal also. I hummed to myself as I took the bowls to the table.

"Someone had a good night. What, did you get drunk and party all night long? No, couldn't be that, cause you would be horribly hung over," Abruptly I stopped humming and glared at my cereal. After my great night with Ricky, I didn't want to have a horrible morning.

"No Ashley I didn't go to a party last night and I didn't drink, you know I don't do that anymore," I lied to her because I was ashamed that she knew who I really was. "I just had a great night that's all," Putting a smile on my face, I looked up at her. Doubt was written all over her face.

"Sure," She said unbelievingly. I hated that she had no faith in me.

"Anyway," I said after a tense pause. "How was your night?" Knowing she didn't have much of a good one, because she didn't have friends. She shrugged and kept eating. I felt like I hit an uncomfortable spot for her. I missed the old Ashley, the fun, peppy, pretty Ashley. I never knew why she changed and I never wanted to accept her like this. "Ashley, don't think I'm trying to be mean or anything because I'm not, but what happened?" She looked up in confusion.

"What happened to what?" I looked into her eyes and she could barely hold my gaze. Before, she could hold it with no hesitation or flinch.

"To you. You used to be so alive, now you're just here, taking up space," That didn't come out as nice it was supposed to be. I'd always meant to work on the way I phrased things.

"Oh God, how many times do we have to go over this Amy? It seems like you always ask me the same questions only different wording. Nothing happened; change is good, isn't it? You should know since you've changed the most?" She said with hint piercing through her cold eyes. Now I was the one flinching, inwardly anyway.

"Not all change is good Ashley-"

"You wouldn't know what change was if you married it, cause it's something you haven't done. Just a couple weeks ago where did you go? What did you do?" My heart began to pound loudly in my ears and I could see the red forming in my eyes. There were two things that were about to happen, I was either going to black out and lose it or cry and let every emotion tear out of me.

"Nothing," I said quietly still looking at her.

"Like hell. You went to that party, you drank, and you wanted me to lie for you, which I did. You want everyone to think you've changed but you haven't, have you?"

"Ashley you don't know anything, I have changed," My defense was weak and tired. "You don't know how hard it is. Everyone can't just turn from life like you and pretend that their isn't temptation. I love my life, I've always loved my life and sure it's not the best life, but it's mine and I'm going to live it freely," My voice was at its peak. I'd wanted to avoid this; I didn't want to yell at my sister.

"Fine Amy, you live your life and I'll live mine, but don't tell me that I've turned away from life because I haven't. I miss everything about who I used to be, but I can't go back to that person anymore," I hadn't realized that both of us were standing. Turning away from my bitter sister, I began my ascent to the stairs. I heard the kitchen door slam as I slammed my bedroom door. I hated that simple things made me so angry. Ashley was right, I haven't changed, and I know I haven't, that's why I was so angry. I'd been frustrated with myself. It's just so much easier for me to be a bitch because being a bitch meant I wasn't weak.

Thanks for reading. Please Review!


	8. Puppet

**Brenda Hampton own the Secret Life of the American teenager, also its characters, all but Joseph that is and maybe a few others later. **

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><p><strong>Ashley's PoV<strong>

My feet had carried me across the street without my knowing. I don't know why I was here telling her all my problems, all my family secrets. Really, I'd just needed someone to talk to and it couldn't be Amy, especially after the little spat we just had. I'd hoped that after we moved here Amy and I wouldn't fight as much as we did in Texas, but some things never change.

Knocking on the thick wooden door, I waited patiently for someone to arrive and open it. "Coming," I heard someone say in a sing song voice. The door swung open and Adrian's face fell to a frown. I guess I wasn't whomever she was expecting. Crossing my arms over my chest, I felt a little insecure. Her gaze went from to annoyed to intrigued to a smirk.

"Ashley, come on in," She moved out the way and motioned for me to enter. The door closed behind me and she offered me a seat at the kitchen table. "So, what brings you to my humble abode?" Adrian leaned over the table in eagerness. She knew there was a problem, every time I was over here, there was a problem. I shrugged my shoulders and gazed at the floor as if I saw something interesting. Biting my lip I contemplated telling her about Amy and me. Her hand found my leg and a sincere look was plastered on her face. "Come on Ashley, we're friends, you can tell me anything," Her smile was genuine. Before I knew it, my mouth opened and I was telling her about everything.

"Amy, she's such a bitch. Some days I wish she wasn't even my sister, she always finds a way to get under my skin," Looking into Adrian's eyes I saw a glimpse of evil behind them, but it quickly went away as I came to a conclusion that it was nothing.

"How?"

"She's always had these issues you know. Sure, I can't blame her for it, she was born that way. Amy is an attention seeker and that really gets to me. My parents have always put Amy before me because they are scared she's going to go too far one day," I was afraid that she was going to go too far too.

"Oh, Ash, I'm sorry," Adrian's hand sat on top of mine. The heat coming off it was comforting and allowed me to talk more.

"No, its fine, I've learned to get over it now. Therapy had actually helped Amy out before we moved down here," I slapped myself mentally. Knowing I'd let out to much information I tore my gaze from Adrian's and back to the ground. I could practically feel her tensing.

"Therapy?" There was a smile in Adrian's voice. Hoping that silence would permit a change in the subject, I stayed quiet. "You have to tell me Ashley. Maybe it will help you get through a few problems you have with Amy," I highly doubt that. Adrian shook the table to get my attention and I finally looked at her again. May as well get this over with.

"Yeah, my sister has been in therapy. Amy had a drinking problem, attitude problems, and any other types of problems you can think of, she's had. You know what maybe I shouldn't be telling you this," I stood up prepared to leave, but Adrian grabbed my arm as I turned to leave.

"Please Ashley, I want to give you some tips on how to handle your sister and the only way I can do that, is if you tell me… everything," I could see the devil himself in her eyes, but my feet wouldn't move. I wanted to be here, telling Amy's dirty little secrets. Sighing I went back to the table and sat down.

"Amy's is very violent also," The story began there and it was never ending. Adrian made me feel like I had wanted to feel my entire life, wanted- needed. I was going to keep her around even if it meant hurting my only sister.

**Adrian's PoV**

Really the whole situation had been like taking candy from a baby, a hurt, scorned baby that had no hope. Ashley was an open book, her family was an open book and I couldn't take my eyes off the pages. It was just awful of Ashley to want to give up Amy so willingly, but I gave her something no one else had given her, attention. I loved that I had that power over her, over everyone. Let's face it; I'm a manipulative bitch who always gets what she wants. It's been like that since I could talk. My "charm" worked differently though, on men it was easy as pie, on women not so much, but once I complimented them a few times and gossiped about the latest thing, they couldn't say no to me. Ashley, though, she was the easiest, she was so fragile and all she needed was a friend, and what do you know, I'm that friend.

Amy wouldn't know what hit her once I knew all her secrets and used them against her, to let everyone know who she really was. Let me count a few off just to name some: alcoholic, bipolar, narcissist, hell, at one point anorexic, this chick has a load of baggage. According to Ashley, there are even more problems that there aren't even clinical names for. I knew Amy wasn't the innocent girl that everyone thought she was. I knew there was something about her she was hiding; let's face it, no ones that nice and sweet unless there are secrets. I almost felt bad for her, almost.

When everyone finds about Amy, it will kill her inside, she'll probably cry, or kill herself, but who cares? Well, I don't, her mom might, but after everything Amy has put her through probably not. I wanted this bitch to be permanently placed in a psych ward; I want to make her go insane. I'm surprised she hasn't already lost her mind, Amy, as much as I don't like her I have to admit, must have a very strong mentality. She's been going through hell since her pre-adolescent days; maybe this could help her heal, maybe.

All I really wanted to do was keep her away from Ricky, but seeing as she embarrassed me at the party, I officially hate her guts, so the issues would be for me and Ricky's relationship sake and the secrets, when I figure them out, will be for Amy's shame. Everyone will think she's such a mess, they'll probably feel sorry for her, but from firsthand experience, someone feeling sorry for you could drive you over the edge itself. The only thing I really had to do was tell someone who had mouth turrets and couldn't keep a secret to save their life, Madison.

I'd always used Madison in my schemes, she was so easy to use, and all she wanted was to be accepted by me. If I told Madison to walk on all fours through the packed hallway at school, she would, just to please me. Many girls would do that actually, they were like my puppets, even Grace, and soon, I would have a brand new puppet for my collection. I smirked at the thought. It will be my pleasure to string Amy up and control her by a stick for all the school to see. When I want her to jump she _will _jump. When I want her to speak, she _will _speak. Being my bitch was the price you had to pay for fucking with Adrian Lee.

All this scheming was making me hungry for something, and it wasn't food. I needed Ricky, he was the only one that could get the job done the way I wanted it done. Picking up my phone I typed in his number. The phone rang a few times before he answered, before he said hello I spoke into the phone.

"My place, now Ricky," I demanded him too come over because I knew that he knew what I wanted.

He sighed into the phone and I heard hesitance. "Not now Adrian. I'm not in the mood for you," The phone slipped out my hand and landed on the floor. Did he really just- I picked up the phone quickly and seethed.

"Are you rejecting me Ricky?" There was silence; all I could hear was him breathing lightly.

"That's what it sounds like Adrian. I'm just not in the mood today, don't take it personal, it's just me,"

"Don't take it personal? Don't take it personal?" I screamed into the phone. "You've never rejected me Ricky. What's the deal?"

"I told you, I'm just not in the mood," his tone held small bits of anger… at me. What the hell did I do? Angry or not, when I asked Ricky to come over here and screw me, he usually did, that's how we worked through our problems.

"Why no-" Before I could finish, I heard the familiar sound of a dial tone. The bastard hung up on me. Now it was on Amy, I know she had something to do with this; she had to have for Ricky to be rejecting me.

She was surely going to be a pawn in my hands now. Amy had just arrived in my town and she already has a lifelong enemy.

**Amy's PoV**

Nine, that's how old I'd been when I had my first violent outburst, the only one I could remember anyway. It was over a teddy bear that my mom was giving to the Salvation Army, I'd loved that bear, and he was my best friend at the time. During my elementary days, I was kind of a loner, which was probably how I should've stayed through high school. All I remember though is that all my problems started with that bear, no one knows why, even the therapist was baffled when I finally opened up.

My tantrums had become more prevalent when my mom took my best friend from me, I acted out. In the beginning, I believe, I was only doing it to hurt her feelings like she hurt mine. Sometimes, I would tell her I hated her and I could see the damage behind her eyes. My dad would scold me and tell me I don't know the meaning of hate, at the time I didn't. I just knew that it was the opposite of love, which couldn't have been good. I'd used hate a lot to describe my feelings for my family. Yes, it was a word that I threw around and didn't mean, but the word was prominent in my vocabulary.

I'd wanted to tell Ashley I hated her when we were arguing downstairs, but I held it in my mind. I'd already told her I hated her once and I felt guilty about it. I never apologized to her for that night, I'd ruined her birthday. The attention was supposed to be on her, but I'd come in and screwed it up. Ashley thinks I don't remember what happened that night, but I did. Really, I just could never find the words to say to her about it, usually I just pushed it to the side whenever it was the right time, which was almost never. The only time Ashley and I talked was before we argued.

Sometimes I felt like I was the reason for our arguments. Sometimes, I'm not even arguing with my sister, I'm arguing with myself. I'm always trying to convince myself that I've changed, even though I haven't. Mom, she believes it though, I want her to believe it because I want her to be proud of me. Let her down, that's what I feel like I've done.

Laying my head down on my pillow, I pulled myself into a ball. This is how I thought when I lashed out; this was how I pulled myself back together again. It was a defense mode, and I never knew what I was defending myself from, or who I was defending myself from.

**(9 Years Ago) George's PoV**

They'd taken her from me and the only thing I knew to do was call an old friend, someone that I hadn't been involved with for years, Joseph Castel. Joe, he would know what to do, he always knows what to do. He was a well put together person, his mind always clear from negative things. I knew he wouldn't take it too well, me calling him up, especially after our dispute. Joe had no idea that I had a family, well, he probably did, but I hid them from him. He doesn't know what they look like. I'd never involve my family with something as serious as my old life, because of them, I'd moved on from those days. Now though, it was time to reverse, go back to who I was, only for a while, until we found her.

There was no way that I could get the police involved, the enemy would surely kill the most precious thing I held to my heart, so I had to look in the other direction, the direction that I knew I could trust to bring her back to me unharmed, the family.

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><p>That's it peoples, please REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!<p>

A/N: Do you all think that I should put George's PoV and a few others from the past that lead up to George's murder? Let me know.


	9. Mad World

_*Secret life of the American Teenager belongs to Brenda Hampton, I in no way on the character or plot except for Joseph, he's mine…_

**Ricky's PoV**

I'd been thinking about her a lot lately, Amy. She was so different from everyone else in this town. I know it's a bad idea for me to even think I have feelings for her, but I think I do. Lately, I've been avoiding her at school, it's like she doesn't even exist. It's not like I do it to be mean, I do it because of Adrian. Usually, I wouldn't care about what was the best interest for Adrian, this time it was different though. I knew that Adrian had pure hate for Amy and I didn't want to see Amy crumble or kill Adrian before my eyes. Learning about Amy's issues made me feel like I had to protect her.

She so open that night, her feeling were raw and intimidating. No one has ever been so real with me, well not a stranger anyway. Why did this girl feel the need to trust me and tell me all her secrets? I don't even know her last name. I'd become her confidant in that moment, she had been holding so much in. How one could go through life keeping who they really are hiding deep inside of them had to be hell. Amy could never be herself, her true self, around her peers, not even at home. For some reason, I wanted to be the one she could be herself around. Pushing those thoughts aside, I slammed my locker shut.

Adrian had been ignoring me since I rejected her a couple weeks ago. Honestly, I was grateful for the silence, for my space. I'd forgotten how nice peace and quiet was since those were attributes that Adrian wasn't composed of. My body needed a break from her and it was rewarding me when it finally got it. I felt more alive, more of a person, if that makes any sense at all.

"What's going on with you and my sister?" I was caught off guard by the question because I had no idea where it came from. I had become so lost in my thoughts that I barely realized the sea of people floating around. Looking behind me, my eyes fell on a short girl with long dark hair and the demeanor of a murderer.

"No offense, but I don't even know who your sister is, let alone you," The girl let out an incoherent noise.

"Amy, what's going on with you and Amy? I know you two have something going on or something. My friend told me," If Amy was her sister, I definitely couldn't see the resemblance… anywhere. Though, Amy did mention a sister to me a couple weeks ago. That's beside the point right now.

"What? I barely talk to your sister, plus I do have a girlfriend, so your friend must have me confused with someone else," Becoming annoyed quickly, like I always do, I turned to walk off, but the Amy's sister grabbed my arm. "Look ki-"

"No, you look; you better watch your back messing with Amy. You don't know her like I do, she's a bitch all the time, and she's mean and heartless. She'll swear to everyone she's changed, but she hasn't," Her whole exterior was intimidating. This girl either wanted to look out for her sister or didn't want anyone to like her. I'd choose the latter. I don't understand how she could stand here and bash her sister without a look of guilt in her eyes. There was no hesitance in her words.

"Okay," there wasn't anything else I could really say. My mind was trying to wrap around the fact that Amy and this girl are actually related. Suddenly, the girl was like a deer caught headlights, she stormed away; her steps were tense and stiff.

"Uh, I hate her," I perked up inwardly and turned to see Amy leaning on the lockers. There was a look of disgust on her face. "What the hell did she want?" She was in a mood; I'd been noticing small things like this about her. Her tone was nonchalant and withdrawn.

"So, that's your sister?" Stuffing my hands in my jean pockets, I mirrored her and leaned on the lockers. A strand of hair fell in her face and I tackled down the urge to push it behind her ear.

"My parents would like to think so," Amy said shrugging her shoulders and pursing her lips, which wasn't helping me at all. Trying to focus my gaze on something or someone else, I realized that we were the only people in the hallway, aside from a few stragglers late for class.

"What's her name?" I asked trying to make conversation so I wouldn't focus on the drumming of my heart.

"Why?" She looked at me curiously without a blink. I wasn't even sure if she was breathing.

"Because, I don't want to walk around calling her that girl or Amy's sister all the time. Plus, she seems pretty cool," I wasn't sure why I lied. Amy chuckled in disbelief and glanced at the floor.

"Trust me that girl is just fine and she is not cool, don't worry yourself with getting to know her, she's a loner and she likes it that way. Ashley doesn't want any friends, I know that for a fact," There was obviously some sibling bitterness they had towards one another. Amy crossed her arms over her chest and bit the corner of the bottom of her lip, she was thinking.

"When we were talking, she mentioned a friend," The confusion must have been written all over my face. Amy shrugged and shook her head slightly.

"She was probably lying, although, she isn't much of the lying type so there's a possibility she's telling the truth, but," Amy didn't finish her thoughts. Removing herself from the locker, she moved closer to me. She searched my face and then chuckled to herself lowly and walked off. _That wasn't weird at all_. Rotating my body I watched her walk down the hallway giggling to herself. Then, there was a guy beside her, he'd come out of nowhere, his arm was wrapped around her shoulders. I couldn't get a clear look at his face, but I didn't care who he was, in that period of time I felt betrayed by her. She'd given some guy the opportunity to capture her heart and not me, damn. The couple escaped through the front door of the school and I realized that Amy was more than a mystery; she was unfathomably unclear to read.

**Anne's PoV**

So, it was wrong for me to keep secrets from one daughter and not the other, but I knew that Amy couldn't handle it. Her mind wasn't in its proper place and I knew she could relapse on a lot of things. She'd been doing so well, and I don't want her to go back to the way she used to be. In yet, this situation has been eating at me, we should be handling this as a family. If George were here, he'd know what to do, well maybe not; he was never good with these sorts of things. The thought made me smile. I missed my husband.

I hated spending cold night huddled up in my blankets, only wishing they were George. I hated going downstairs in the morning and expecting him to be there, making pancakes. He was truly my better half. I had no idea what loneliness was until I lost my husband with no warning. That made me realize that you could never expect life to deal you a good hand. You never knew one your number was pulled and when it was, you had to go, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Soon, I would be following my George, but I was hoping not too soon.

Honestly, there was no fight in me, I was tired. Sure, I was young, but I was tired, I'd been dealing with so much since the day of Ashley's birth. Amy's outbursts and late night tears took everything away from me. My body needed rest, actual rest, not just a good sleep. I hated the thought of leaving my girls behind, but life had dealt me a bad hand.

Ashley didn't know how sick I was, she just knew that some days I wouldn't be able to get out of bed. My heart was aching for my babies and I realized that maybe I should sit them down and talk to them about what was going on, hopefully that could talk up the fight in me again.

**(9 Years Ago) Joseph's PoV**

He came to me asking for help. George had personally inducted himself back into the family by showing up at my house. It had been years since I'd seen him. This was the first time that I'd talked to him since that violent day, the day that his wife had nearly been killed. That was the day that he gave up the mafia lifestyle. Now, he was back, asking for a favor.

"Listen Joe, I know… I know that I've probably burned this bridge, but I need your help with something," His face was war beaten. The stress lines were everywhere and he was beginning to fidget. Something was eating away at his mentality.

"Why should I help you George?" I was being stubborn as usual. George knew what to expect from me, so he straightened his back and looked me in the eye. He still had it; I knew his backbone wouldn't disappear when he left the family.

"I'm as much a part of this family as you are, I've always been," I chuckled lowly and smirked at George. I shoved my fingers slowly through my hair. George never broke his gaze from mine.

"You're right George you have burned this bridge. You turned your back on the most important thing in our little world," I leaned on the wall beside my desk.

"The most important thing in my 'little world' is my family, not my mafia family, my wife and daughters, that's who I'm protecting now, them, not you," I flinched at his words. They were cold and honest. George had grown up, grown away from the dangers that we both once loved. He'd matured into the man that my father knew he would be. I condoned him, as a friend.

"Bravo George, quite the man you've come to be," My sarcasm seeped through each pore on my body.

"I didn't come here to argue or fight, I need a favor and either you're going to help me or not. I don't have time to sit here and bicker, my daughter is in danger," My finger twitched was the telltale sign that I was intrigued. There was a pause between us and George took it as my answer and began towards the door.

**(Present) Joseph's PoV**

I regret helping George because of all the pain it caused and the rift that grew between us, but I would go back and help him again if I had to. Although it was the beginning of his demise, I felt that he didn't regret coming to me either. Some days, I feel that it is my fault that he was murdered, that he was murdered by his own family. That was what it had to come to though; I should have been brave enough to do it myself. It was my problem, he was my friend and I was such a coward that I could end his life myself. Instead, I'd sent my son, Ricky. I never wanted to open him up to this lifestyle, but the selfish part of me wanted him to be involved.

The look on Ricky's face when he pulled the trigger was menacing. It haunted me every night, sometimes it would wake me up. He had looked so comfortable and relaxed. This kept me up along with the haunting of George Jurgens. His eyes held a message, a lesson in life. His last plea never failed to enter my thoughts; they were a dominant part of my memory of him. He said it when I was turning away from him; he was on his last breath. He'd asked me to protect his family, but I couldn't, I wouldn't because I feel so guilty.

**Amy's PoV**

I knew that he'd been avoiding me, but I didn't know that it would bother me so much. Talking to him at school today had been easier than I thought. He knew all my secrets, well most of them. I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know if he'd told the whole school or maybe a counselor. It was hard for me to pay attention to Jesse because I kept thinking of reasons why Ricky wouldn't say anything.

"So Amy, you have to tell me about Texas," My annoyance was building because I wasn't in the mood to talk. The only reason that I was with Jesse tonight was because I owed him a date. Poor guy, he was doing the best to keep my attention, but it was just the way I was.

"It's big and hot and a pleasant place to live. I really didn't want to leave actually, but, no choice you know," I shrugged my shoulders and sipped some of my shake from my straw. Jesse looked displeased with my answer, but he didn't say anything. I smiled at him to reassure him that I was enjoying our date, which I probably would have really enjoyed it if my mind wasn't wrapped around everything else.

"So, who was that guy you left school with today?" I knew something was bothering him. Of course it was that, but I don't know why it would bother him, he wasn't my boyfriend.

"Nobody," There was a little force to my speech and I pushed back the feeling of madness. One thing I didn't like was the accusations written all over his face.

"He had to be somebody. Why would you go somewhere with a total stranger?" They guy hadn't been a total stranger; he wanted to skip out on school just like I did. I didn't even remember his name, Luke? Carson? I don't know, but we did have fun. He was in my chemistry class.

"Well, I'm with a stranger now aren't I? I don't know anything about you Jesse, you could be a murderer, or a rapist," He tensed at my words, but I didn't pay attention to him. Looking at him, I grinned. "Jeez, get a grip, I was only joking," Slightly joking. Jesse relaxed and smiled at me, his hand found mine and tore my gaze away from him and looked at the table. I wasn't ready for this again.

"Amy, I haven't known you that long, but I really like you," Jesse spoke, no hesitation in his tone, shit.

"Jesse don't," Slowly, I pulled my hand from under his and put it on my lap. He looked disappointed. _Way to hurt the guys feeling Amy_. I wasn't trying to hurt him, he just didn't understand. He doesn't know how I am, who I am. All he sees is some sweet innocent girl that walks around the school without a care of the world on her shoulders. He doesn't know that I'm rotten inside and I didn't want to put him through getting to know the real me. Jesse would just wound up more hurt than he is now. He wasn't strong enough to handle the real me, no one was.

**Ashley's PoV**

Once again here I was the blade to my skin. While Amy was out enjoying her life, I was grieving over it, criticizing myself for not being able to be like her. Everyone's life was going great except for mine. Sitting in the tub, I looked at all the marks on my skin, each one representing a different emotion. A tear fell from my eye as I remember the first time I had cut myself. It hadn't hurt as much as my life did. The release of blood that flowed down my arm represented the resentment I had for myself. From that day on, I made new excuses for why I did it; I was trying to convince myself. Today I did because I felt guilty for what I did today. Adrian had made me go talk to Ricky; she wanted me to get information out of him. She was only securing her insecurities.

I didn't understand why she felt something was going on between Ricky and Amy, there obviously wasn't anything. Adrian was on the verge just like I was; we were nearly the same person. She doesn't cope like I do though. I need to find out how she does it, cope that is, because sooner or later someone would notice my scars and force me to get help, but help wasn't what I wanted.

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><p>Please Review! OAN: Sorry if there is bad grammar in the story…<p> 


	10. Crumbling Princess

_Disclaimer: All secret life material in this story belongs to Brenda Hampton, Sadly….._

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><p><strong>Grace's PoV<strong>

Bursting through the front door, I stormed down the basement stairs into his office. I was angry, pissed. He lied to me, he told me everything would be okay, we would never have to worry. I'd seen him tell a straight face lie to Nora, but not me, I always knew. It was the way he would squint his eyes and his eye would twitch almost obliviously, but he'd practiced on this lie. He'd used it before, on my mother, my blood mother. She believed him, she went to the grave believing every false truth that left his lips. I wouldn't, I couldn't do that. He didn't understand the emotions that I had just went through only a few moments ago.

Usually, I wouldn't interrupt him, especially while he was doing business. This time though, I wouldn't wait at the door like an obedient child, I needed to confront him. The booming voices seemed to be in deep conversation as I got closer to the door. All of a sudden there was a loud boom, not a gunshot, but something crashing against the wall. I almost lost my nerve, almost. My journey came to an end when my hand finally hit the cold door knob. Twisting it, I surged through, I locked eyes with everyone until I found the culprit.

He gawked with angry eyes that weren't meant for me. Sighing, he relaxed only slightly and placed his hands on the oak desk. His body was tense, his blonde hair wild. It was a perfect reflection of how I felt.

"Now is not a good time Grace," The tension in the room was thick. All the henchman looked between the two of us. I'm sure my eyes blazed with madness.

"Make it a good time," I spat the venom from deep within. The poison in my voice made the men stiffen. My dad stared at me with curiosity and unbelief. I'd never really talked to him this way. He challenged me with his stare and never once did I falter or break. Smirking with pride my dad turned to the three men in the room.

"You heard her, leave. I'll call you back when I'm finished here," With no hesitation, they left quickly. He looked at the door until it closed and then offered me a seat. I declined politely. "So, what's with the bitch fit Grace?" I was offended to say the lest. My dad had actually called me a bitch.

"Excuse me? I'm not having a 'bitch fit', I'm pissed the hell off,"

"Watch your mouth Grace. Young ladies shouldn't use filthy words like that," Now he wanted to get fatherly.

"Cut the crap dad and let's get to the problem at hand here, before I lose my temper even more," God, I was starting to sound like Nora. My dad shrugged and sat down in his large chair. "You said everything was going to be okay, you said nothing would ever happen," The confusion on his face was prominent and heavy. I figured he had no clue what I was talking about.

"Gra-"

"Do you know what it's like… to be questioned by the police? What am I talking about of course you do. Look at the lifestyle you live," I could feel my face screwing up in disgust. His usually proud demeanor fell and he I saw hurt in his eyes, only for a second. I kept talking, "It hurt to hear from a detective all the things that my father does, I mean, I knew, but it's different coming from someone else and actually listening. You kill people dad, you rough people up and its never hit me till now," His chest began to rise furiously and I'd thought it was I who angered him.

"What? Someone questioned you?" I sighed heavily and crossed my arms, signifying a pissed off yes. "When? Where?" He stood up from his chair and quickly came around it to face me.

"It doesn't matter dad, all that matters is that you said everything was going to be okay. Now… now they're looking for you. They're going to put you in ja- jail," I was breaking, losing it. "The police… They'll take you away from us, Nora and I and they don't care, they don't care how much we love you," I ran my fingers through my hair continuously as the tears spilled from my eyes. Feeling my knees go weak, I plopped down on the sofa behind me. I let my eyes roam around the room so I wouldn't see my father.

I felt the warmth of his body as he embraced me. Letting my head rest against his chest, I felt his lips on top of my head. He was trying to comfort me, but it wasn't working.

"Grace, nothing is going to ha-"

"Don't say that. Do. Not. Say that. It's already happening. You promised that everything would always be okay," I felt his chest rumble and I pulled away from him to look at the small grin on his face. "You're laughing? Is this some big joke to you? They are coming after you and you find it funny,"

"Grace, nothing is going to happen to me. You are so naïve my beautiful child. You should know by now that I run this place," Arrogance wasn't befitting on him. I hated that he was laughing. I hated that he wasn't truly reassuring me of anything. Pulling myself from his embrace, I stormed out and raced towards my room, passing by Nora's confused face.

I reached the inside of my sanctuary and plopped onto my bed face down in a pillow. I let the tears flow freely. He had to be scared because I know I was. I'd been questioned before, but it was in elementary school and a teacher was present. This time, they scoped me out, they waited for me to get out of school, to be alone. This time, I knew it was different, I could feel it in my bones.

**Anne's PoV**

My daughters weren't known for their subtleness, and by the way that they were gaping at each other with death in their eyes I knew why. Ashley had called me down from my nap, which I'd woken up from due to their constant bickering. I'd thought the fighting and tension had been resolved a couple months back, but obviously I wasn't really paying attention. There was pent up energy and they were finally about to let loose.

"What is it Ashley?" I said nearly letting the annoyance break through. Ashley smiled at Amy vehemently. Amy glared back at her and looked down to see her hand clinched into a fist, which was never a good sign.

"She doesn't want anything, she's just being a pain in the ass, my ass rather," I wasn't surprised to hear Amy cursing. It was cursing or drinking and believe me I could handle cursing better than I could drinking.

I looked at Ashley waiting for her response because I knew she had one.

"Oh mom, you're going to love this. Let me tell how much Amy's 'changed'- she obviously doesn't know the definition,"

"_Shut up _Ashley before I make you shut up," Amy's teeth were clenched and I moved closer to the two so they wouldn't tear each others head's off.

"I'm shaking Amy. What are you going to do punch me? Slap me?" Ashley smirked and grunted sarcastically.

"I don't know take your fuckin' pick bitch," Now that, I was surprised by. I'd never heard use such strong words as those.

"Amy Jurgens!" I shouted at her, but Ashley waved me off.

"I'm the bitch Amy, really. I guess I'd rather be a bitch than a slut though huh? At least in being a bitch I don't go and skip school with some guy I just met and let him screw my brains out. By the way, how is that 'relationship' coming along," Amy's hand shot up and connected with Ashley's face. Ashley stood there for a moment holding her cheek. It didn't take me long to move in between them. The last thing I wanted was for them to kill one another.

"Girls! Pull yourselves together and calm down. Amy what is wrong with you? Why would you slap your sister?"

"She deserves it. Did you hear what she just called me or do you need your ears cleaned out?" Amy spat at me.

"Don't talk to her like that you drunk," I snapped my eyes towards Ashley who looked disgusted at her sister.

"Don't call me that, you have no right to call me that. I'm not a drunk and I'm not a slut," Amy sounded like a hurt child.

"Well, I'm not a bitch either," Ashley sighed in relief and I thought she was preparing to apologize. "There isn't enough room in the world for anyone else to be a bitch but you,"

"Ashley and Amy both of you go to your rooms and calm down, NOW," It was as though I wasn't in the room. The girls remained to argue.

"You know what Ashley, why don't you go find a knife and slit your throat, that would do everyone a big favor," I tensed and my heart began to ache at Amy's cold words. Ashley didn't mirror the pain on my face like I thought she would.

"Sometimes Amy, just sometimes I wish it were you that died and not dad. I miss him, but I doubt, highly doubt that I would miss you. You never think about anyone but yourself. Now, now I'm about to lose my mother who I've never hurt like you have. Ever since we've gotten here, how long has it been, four months now, all you do is go out and party. I've said it once and I'd say it again, you haven't changed, you are still the same. I'd never thought I'd say this to you because I never thought I would feel this way about my sister, but I hate you, I truly hate you. Adrian's made me realize that, she's been right about you all along," Amy faltered and I could see her trembling body. A tear escaped her eye and all I could do was stand there. I was speechless and some may say that I was being a bad mother, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't.

"Fuck you Ashley. Fuck you and Adrian. You hang with the devil Ashley and you'll soon find out what its like to work with Satan." I watched my daughter snatch her phone from the counter and walk out the door.

"Why did you say that Ashley?" She looked at me only for a split second before turning to leave the room. Here I was wishing that I hadn't chosen a side, but I did and I hate to say it was Ashley's.

**Ben's PoV**

It's been a while since I talked to her, I don't know why she felt the need to call me. No, I wasn't mad that she called, just confused. She should be calling on Grace for all this, they were best friends, but she says she doesn't want to talk. When does she ever want to talk to me.

**Ricky's PoV**

Watching her get into the car with him was hell. He was my best friend, I would even go as far to saying that he was my brother, how could she do this. She knew we were close. I felt betrayed because she had done this before. Punching the seat did not stop me from wanting to go over there and knock the living shit out of Ben.

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><p>Okay you all, I know certain PoV's were short, but there's a reason and TBH I did not know where I was going to go with this story until a couple days ago. That's one reason it takes me so long to post. I'm not the type of person who plans out stories but now, I'm trying to start. It is so much easier to plan, I see that now. BTW REVIEW!1<p>

**PS: Sorry if grammar is bad…**


	11. Almost Doesn't Count

_**Secret Life of the American Teenager belongs to Brenda Hampton….**_

**Amy's PoV**

Lying here, I let him do whatever he wanted to do to me. I was hurting and this was the only way I could feel better. It was my antidote for pain and sorrow, no one seemed

to understand it but me, no one really knew but me. It was another one of those things that a therapist could add to a list of my problems. Sex addict. Well, not really sex

addict, but borderline.

Honestly though, I hadn't had sex in a while. In Texas, my therapist had taught me how to get over that hill, but now that I was at the top, I was rolling back down. I don't

have the same support systems here as I did there. None of these people are really my friends, well maybe Grace, but the rest I wouldn't really count on.

I missed Claire and Amber, I could tell them everything and they wouldn't judge me, but it's different here. All people do is label you. They hear one rumor about you and

your either a whore, an addict, or a stick in the mud. Yes, lively California is very different from laid back Texas.

"So, what did you think?" Seriously, was he asking me about sex that I had barely been present for. I was not a fan of after sex talk, most times I just liked to leave and

pretend it never happened, this is one of those times.

I mad a disgruntled noise and let him take how he wanted it. No need to shoot he's ego down. It wasn't like it was bad, I mean I'm sure it was good somewhere in the

process.

"Want to go again?" I looked at him not knowing which facial expression to throw at him so I just put on a blank face. He began to suck my neck but I lightly pushed away and

rolled over to sit on the edge of the bed.

"No thanks, I need to be going now," Standing up, I reached for my undergarments and jeans and put them on swiftly.

"Come on Amy, do you have to? It's Satur-"

"I promised my mom I would help her with a few things around the house," I'd finished putting my sweater on and headed for the door.

"At least let me drive you home,"

"I'll call a friend, it's okay," I wished he would just stop talking. He was looking for something out of this sexcapade that I wasn't willing to offer. It was what it was… sex,

nothing more. He was a nice guy, but he wasn't my type of guy.

"Can I call you later?" He followed me to the front door and I turned to see the sincerity in his eyes. I sighed and let my hand fall from the door knob.

"Ben… Look, this thing…. That happened between us, was just for fun. It didn't mean we were going to have a relationship, I was just… I was hurting, okay?"

"So you used me?" He dropped his eyes and I touched his shoulder. This was what I didn't want to happen.

"You're a nice guy Ben, but honestly, what girl would come over here asking for sex and then want a relationship. It doesn't work like that. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings

or anything like that, but I thought you knew," He looked at me again and I gave a light smile to him. He didn't seem angry, just a little hurt.

"No, I understood, it's just that-"

"Ben, no, I'm not the one okay. I'm sorry, but I'm not. I have to go," I removed my hand from his shoulder and opened the door. Stepping onto the porch, I stared into the

dusk.

Somehow, I feel as though I just opened up a can of worms. It was the look in his eyes and the way my stomach jumped at the longing tone in his voice. Ben had looked like

the type of guy who would let things go, he looked like the type of guy who wouldn't become attached. I guess it was true what they say though, looks can be deceiving.

**Ben's PoV**

She really just rejected me. I wasn't to fond of rejection. Adrian does it, but she always comes back, but Amy, I felt that she wasn't coming back. Usually, I could just let it

slide after a few days, but seeing her here inside the auditorium a week later, it was different. She was sitting beside Grace, watching the play that the drama department had

decided to put on for everyone. I was captivated by her long brunette hair and that beautiful smile that sat on her innocent face. I've found myself almost obsessing over her

daily. I hated the hold she had on me.

I could feel Adrian and Ricky's eyes on me as I stared two rows ahead of us at Amy. As though she could feel me gazing at her, she turned around and smiled. My heart

pounded harshly against my chest. Adrian had never made me feel the way Amy does. They were two totally different people.

"What the hell are you looking at?" Adrian spat in my ear as she punched me in the leg. The sharp pain caused me to lose my vision on the dream in front of me. Glaring at

her, I saw the envy inside of her boiling over. I'd never seen her envious of anyone.

"You see that girl ahead of us about two rows sitting by Grace, pushing her dainty fingers through her long hair," Adrian looked stunned and I snickered, "Yeah, her." Adrian,

put her hand on my knee and rubbed up to my thigh. It wasn't really affecting me like it used to, it was almost annoying. In yet, my manhood didn't think so. With reluctance,

I moved her hand back to the armrest and she gasped in disbelief.

"Not today," I whispered to her and I saw Ricky watching us. I hope he didn't see too much. He was still my best friend, even if I was screwing his girl. If he ever found out

this was happening it wouldn't be pretty, for any party involved.

"I'll be back," Ricky said without looking at Adrian and I. Adrian gave me a fearful glance but I was almost positive that he didn't know.

"Where are you going?" Adrian spat.

"I said I'll be back," Ricky stood up and scooted by the people beside him. After a while, I heard the auditorium door close. If I knew Ricky, I knew he wasn't coming back, I

also knew that something was bothering him, and it wasn't me and Adrian, hopefully it wasn't.

**Ricky's PoV**

The smoke lifted from my mouth into the chilly breeze. I don't do it all the time, mostly when I'm stressed about things, or puzzled. My mom and Grace don't know, they

would kill me, but of course, dad does. He supplies me, but not enough to be addicted. He makes me promise- as if I'm a kid- not to do anything more than smoke cigarettes.

"Smoking's not good for you, you know," Her voice made me smile. "It causes lung cancer and it makes you smelly," Amy stood in front of me and pushed her fingers through

her hair. I watched as her lips pulled up into a smile.

"So I've heard. Drinking's not good for you either, it causes stupidity," I threw back at her mockingly.

"So I've heard," We stood there in silence watching each other. It wasn't awkward or weird, it was comfortable, relaxing.

"So, what are you doing out here?" She asked walking behind me and leaning against a brick wall. I chuckled and turned towards her. There were a lot of things I could do to

her against that wall.

"I could ask you the same thing… stalker," I took one last drag of the cigarette and threw it one the sidewalk, crushing it with my toe. A cute, curt giggle came from within her

as she looked at me with wide eyes.

"Stalker? Me? Please, I have better things to do with my time than stalk Ricky Castel," I walked closer to her, entering her bubble that she used to shied herself from the

world. She stiffened, but then relaxed reluctantly.

"Everywhere I am, it seems as though you there, my house, the hallway, here. Trust me when I say Amy, whatever your last name is, you are a stalker," She laughed lightly.

"How long have I been here and you still don't my last name? It's a shame Ricky, especially since I'm your sisters friend," I looked into her eyes and couldn't help but to move

closer to her. I could feel the warmth coming from her body and all I wanted to do was touch her. My hands were itching to be on her body, somewhere.

"You've been here for over four months, a lot of things haven't happened that should have by now," She looked down and her hair fell in front of her eye. Taking my

opportunity, I pushed the thick hair behind her ear. I let my hand cup the back of her neck. I moved in towards her and she didn't pull away or hesitate, she was coming

towards me to. Her breath was warm on my skin and I could smell the scent of nature coming from her skin. Our lips merely touching I heard the school door bang open and

snapped my head away from hers as she swiftly moved back against the wall.

"Ricky?" The expression on her face was unbearable, she looked hurt.

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><p>Read and Review guys, tell me what you think. Don't you just hate the person who stopped the kiss from happening? REVIEW!<p> 


	12. Pow!

**Grace's PoV**

I knew this would happen, I told him this would happen. They'd been following him, watching every move he made. He was so sure that everything would be okay, that it would work out. Now, here I was, a text from an anonymous someone, sitting in front of me. I held back my tears which was the best thing to do right now. No one needed to see me fall apart, no one. Soon, they would all know, they would find out through the news, through a message, through the internet, everywhere. They would judge, they would make up rumors about my family and me.

Looking around the room, I searched for Ricky, but he wasn't here. I needed him, I needed to tell him so he could fix it. I caught Adrian searching my face for an answer, I must of looked confused.

"Where's Ricky?" I mouthed to Adrian and she shrugged her shoulders. I gave Ben a look thinking that he knew where he was. Ben shook his head and shrugged. I turned back around in my seat and fiddled with my fingers so I wouldn't break down.

"Students this is a break between Acts so if you need to go to the bathroom or get a snack do it now and come directly back here," Principal Gallagher announced on stage, microphone in hand. Using my opportunity, I shot from my seat and headed outside.

"Ricky?" I came around the corner as I called his name and found he and Amy talking. A tear escaped my eye and Ricky pulled me into his arms. I felt small hands on my back and I knew they were Amy's.

"What's wrong honey?" Amy's voice was strained with sympathy and concern. I wiped my eyes with the palm of my hand. Ricky held me tighter.

"Grace, what's going on?" He pulled away from me slightly and explored my demeanor for what he was looking for, but he couldn't find it. I'd learned to hide answers from people, I don't give many of my emotions away. My mother had taught me to hide emotions away from people. I was really struggling at the moment though.

"He's gone Ricky, they took him. I don't know how or why, I just know he's gone," Ricky knew who I was talking about without me having to tell him.

"What? How?"

"Ricky, I just told you I didn't know, I just know it happened," He removed his arms from around me and ran his fingers through his hair, he was frustrated. I turned to Amy who must have been confused, but she was gone. People began wandering around the school doors, taking their break from the play. Ricky pulled me to the corner of the building where there was no one but him and me.

"Grace how did you find out about this?" He was holding back his frustrations. Ricky knew what would happen if my dad went to prison and he wasn't prepared for it, not yet.

"It was through a message, someone sent it to me just a few minutes ago," Pulling my phone out of my back pocket, I showed him the message.

"Not good, this is not good. We have to go home, right now," A small breeze floated between Ricky and I and the faint smell of smoke slammed into my nostrils. That was the least of my worries right now though.

**Nora's PoV**

I'd forced myself not to cry. There was time for that later. I sat behind a desk in the small cramped room. I knew they were watching me through the glass. I couldn't see them, but I knew they could see me. Putting my hand over my mouth I let loose the tinniest whimper. They'd left me in here, trying to mess with my mental emotions. I will not break, not in front of them. I will not let my husband be thrown in prison, even if that's what he deserved.

A small breeze hit me as a tall, muscular man walked in. He watched me, his eyes never left mine. Intimidation was his goal, but he didn't succeed. Placing the palm of his hands on the desk, he looked back at the one-way glass. I gripped the bottom of the table in frustration.

"So, Mrs. Castel, your day isn't going too well now is it?" He smirked at me and I wanted nothing more than to slap his lopsided smile.

"No, actually my day was going really well until you lovely pigs dragged me from my home for some bullshit charge on my husband," I returned his smirk. A snicker fell from his tight lips. "And exactly what is he being charged with, if you don't mind me asking,"

"Actually, I do mind. You see, my job is to ask the questions, not yours. Your job is to sit there and answer my questions like the good citizen you are," He pulled a chair from the corner and slid it up to the table. "Now, if you don't mind," he said sitting in the chair, "let's get started."

The door opened again and a woman about my height stepped in. She had an arrogance wrapped around her that wasn't fitting. The way she walked in with her nose in the air told me that she wasn't used to losing a case. That'll change.

"Nora, are you familiar with Marshall Bowman?" The female detective said handing her partner a file folder that I was sure had evidence inside.

"No, I don't believe I know him, why?" They ignored me.

"Where were you, Mrs. Castel, six months ago from today- January 27th, 2012? Were you with your husband out of town?" I grinned at them.

"My husband and I were not in the country six months ago, it was our anniversary, so yes, I was out of town with him," They looked at one another quickly and opened the folder. Pulling out a picture, they both searched it carefully.

"What about your children, Grace and Richard, where were they?" My heart began beating intangibly. The mention of the most precious things in my life, especially in a police station did not make me happy. They could only be trying to break me, like they had before.

"Ricky and Grace were at home. I called them every night and every night they picked up the phone. Leave my children out of whatever stunt you're trying to pull, both of you,"

"Did they answer the phone together, or was it only Grace? What about Ricky, where was he?" They didn't care. They disregarded my request.

"Listen, they were at home, I'm sure of it," The male detective threw a picture at me and there he was plain as day. The dark hair, the smirk, everything matched my sons appearance. Ricky was there, at the Bowman's house. Damn it Ricky.

"You don't look so sure now Nora,"

**Marshall Bowman (six months ago)**

It was a surprisingly cool night, being in the middle of summer and all. I hated sitting here and watching him, scoping his every move. It was my job to study him, to learn his habits, and I'd done well to learn so much about him these last few weeks. I knew that he wakes up in the middle of the night to drink a sip of wine, I know that every morning he steps outside only to gaze into the clear sky. I'd been in his house to and I understood that he was a family man, he was also having an affair so he couldn't be that much about family.

He was a wolf in sheep's clothing and I knew it first hand. He'd burned my dad and my family and intended to take him out, sooner than later. I wasn't going to follow instructions because I wasn't a dog. I wouldn't sit here and let someone tell me what they wanted me to do, I'm my own person. I would not wait until he came back from his "business trip". I didn't have enough control to wait, so I acted on impulse.

There was a clear shot of him, if only he would stop moving around so damn much. He and his wife were in the kitchen, dancing and laughing and I hated to interrupt such a memorable time, but I wasn't here to make his life grand, I was here to end it.

I took the black gloves from my back pocket and placed them on my shaking hands. With a practiced motion, I twisted the silencer onto the pistol. Making sure to walk softly, I went around to the side door and knocked. I could hear their laughing cease and then their were heavy footsteps coming towards me from the inside. I slowly pulled my hood over my head, enough so that he couldn't really make out my face. The door twisted and a smiling Marshall Bowman greeted me. Raising the gun to his head I watched all color leave his face. His wife screamed as the gun went off and Marshall slammed into the floor.

That's chapter 12.… REVIEW!


	13. Worries, More Worries

**Brenda Hamptom owns secret life, I'm just having fun here**

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Can't believe I posted this to the wrong story lol... The bad thing about it was, was that i realized after i left the source for my internet so I apologize... I suck Lol

**Ricky's PoV**

I stared through the glass at my father and I could only see myself. I saw myself sitting there in an orange jumpsuit with a phone in my hand, talking to my wife, awaiting my trial and I realized that I didn't want to be like that. I didn't want to be dictated by a judge or by a few measly guards. I didn't want to risk dying by being shanked in a dirty prison full of molesters, abusers, and killers. Killer, that's what I was wasn't I? I'd taken a man's life. A man who had a family, who was successful, who didn't deserve to die.

There were nights when I would have nightmares about that particular moment. I would remember how the gun went off, how it made my hand tingle. That was my first time killing someone and I regretted every second of it. I wish I could go back, I wish I could take back everything that I'd done.

Joseph had been so proud of me, he'd been expecting me to do it and I didn't want to disappoint him. He was the first real father figure I had because my real dad didn't count for anything but a sperm donor. I wanted to make Joseph happy, but now, all I feel towards him is resentment. He waited for me to talk through the receiver, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. He sat there with a light smirk on his face, as though he were happy to be inside such a place. _Shit. _I slammed the receiver in its place and stormed from the room.

He's ruining everything. He's messing up our family. Grace doesn't even want to come see him anymore and my mom can't stay away from here. I don't want to talk to him at all. How could he let himself get in this situation like this? He'd promised us that he would never come here; he told us that it would be okay. I needed to pull myself together because I needed to know what to do. He needed to tell me what to do because right now I was desperate.

"Sir, are you finished?" That was a good question. Was I finished? Would I let Joseph go down without a fight?

"No, I'm not finished," I said before going back into the room and staring at him. They were preparing to take him away, but then the officers saw me and sat him back down in the stool. I gawked at him before picking up the receiver again. He slowly retrieved his and grinned at me.

"Are you done being a drama queen Richard?" He asked mockingly. I'd never wanted to hit this man before, but right now, I wasn't in the mood for his antics.

"… I should just let you rot in here, but I know that's impossible. I know that if we don't get you out, someone else will," I said coldly. I had no feelings for him right now, I was hurting, I just wasn't going to cry like Grace and Nora.

"You wouldn't do that anyway, you know why? Because you need me Ricky, you wouldn't know what to do without me," I clenched my fist openly so he could see it. I wanted him to know that I was pissed at him. "Son, you're killing me, why don't you just get me a lawy-"

"Grace hates you, just to let you know. You lied to her; you told her everything would be okay. She never wants to see you again, not here that is," I watched as he flinched. It was the first time I'd ever seen him possess any motion but fearlessness. "My mom, she barely knows what to feel. She comes down here to see you true, but it's only because she's not used to not having you at home," I spoke nonchalantly. I just wanted him to know how much he was hurting the women he loved.

"All of that can be fixed Ricky if you would just get me out of here. I could take care of everything, everyone who decided that it was okay to rat out Joseph Castel," I chuckled a little. What a pretender.

"Why are you acting like such a badass? What are you going to do behind bars and a fence? Huh? You think these prisoners give a damn about who you are? They'll kill you in a heartbeat, they don't care if you have family or not," My bravery was getting out of control. I'd never talked to him like this, I'd never wanted to. Joseph and I had been close, but now, something was changing, it was different. I couldn't quite put my finger on why I was acting like this, maybe it's because I know he can't get to me in prison.

"Do you know who I am Ricky? I can do anything I want, no matter where I am. No one is going to touch me in here," He smirked at me again. I only wanted to make him understand. Obviously there was no way I was getting through that big head of his. "Ricky, I know what you're trying to do, but everything is going to be fine," Like I haven't heard him say that before. "I know you're not ready to take on big responsibilities and I'm not expecting you to be ready," He was silent for a moment and I could see the sincerity in his eyes. Behind the sincerity though, I knew he was lying. I knew something was going to be different. Everything wasn't going to be fine; they had something on him, the FBI, the CIA, whoever you could think of. They wanted to take him down and they were going to.

**Amy's PoV**

I'd been watching the news a lot lately, which probably wasn't a good idea since I found out that Grace's dad was part of the mafia. I'd never met him, but the way Grace admired him, he seemed so nice and kind. He didn't have the face of a killer, which I'd only seen through a mug shot on television. The story was so big. The whole school was abuzz with this information, from the conversations I've been eavesdropping on; they'd known that he was in the mafia. That's why so many people feared Ricky, well maybe not feared, but were out of his way. Ricky held so much power and so did Grace, even if she didn't realize it.

Grace had been coming to my house a lot lately, staying the night. My mom greeted her with open arms, never asked questions. She knew what was going on with Grace and she wasn't judgmental. I'd let Grace, stay in my room while I took the guest room. Some nights, I would hear her crying and I would go in the room to comfort her.

I wondered why she hadn't gone to Adrian, I mean I didn't really care, but Adrian was her best friend, her brother's girlfriend. Maybe she wanted something different; maybe she wanted to be around someone who didn't know about her family. My mom had tried to give her a little counseling, but Grace wouldn't listen. She wasn't disrespectful; she just couldn't handle much right now.

"Amy my daddy isn't a bad person, so why are they doing this to him?" She obviously didn't know how bad a person he was. I wouldn't tell her that.

"Oh honey I don't know. It'll work itself out soon, it has to," I rubbed her hair as she lay down on my bed and cried.

"Thank you Amy," She said sincerely.

"For what Grace? I haven't done anything,"

"You listened to me and you opened your house to me. I know I'm a burden, but I just can't be home right now. I can't stand coming out of my house and seeing the media in my driveway, its hell Amy," She looked up at me and gave a sad smile.

"Grace, you are not a burden sweetie. You can come and stay anytime you want to," My mother said at my door. I looked up and smiled at her. She was always there when she was needed. "Amy, you have a visitor down stairs," I gave her a questioning look, but she only shrugged her shoulders. Looking down at Grace, I wanted to make sure she was okay. She gave me a depressing smile and tapped my arm.

"Go Amy, I'll be fine. You can't stop your life just because of me," I leaned down and hugged her tightly. I didn't want to leave Grace in such a fragile state, she was losing everything, and from experience, I knew how that felt. Once, I'd lost it all too, I was still losing it all.

"I'll sit with her Amy," My mom said with a reassuring smile. She moved to take my place and I stood up and sighed.

"I'll be back shortly," I said as I walked through the door towards the stairs. I glanced down to the bottom floor before taking my first step down and saw Ricky standing there. My heart picked up a little and pulled myself together before going down. _He's here to check on Grace, Amy, not to see you. _

I quickly padded down the stairs as he looked up to give me a wary look. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and tell him it would be okay, like I had done Grace. Ricky stared at me and I could see thousands of emotions pass through his eyes. Was there anything I could say to make him feel better? I'd been in a situation where I'd lost someone dear to my heart, but was this the same? Their dad didn't die, he went to prison, they could possibly have him back home, but my dad couldn't come back. _You never told him you loved him. _The thought passed through my head uninhibited. I let a tear fall from my eye and I tried to wipe it away before Ricky noticed, but it was too late.

Ricky grabbed me and pulled me into a hug and I cried on his shoulder, I was supposed to be the one comforting him. I was such a baby now days.

"You want to go somewhere else?" he asked whispering in my ear. I sniffed and nodded my head, I felt him tense up and I looked behind us. There stood Ashley, watching us. I rolled my eyes at her and took Ricky's hand in mine, leading him out the door.

**Ben's PoV**

I followed them, Ricky and Amy, all the way to their destination. I couldn't believe this, how could he? How could she? She told me that she didn't want a relationship, she told me I was a nice guy. How could Amy be here with my best friend, kissing him, touching him? I hadn't told Ricky how I felt about her, so he wasn't to blame. Plus, he didn't know what he was doing, his dad just went to prison, he was hurting. Amy, she had no excuse. Just like Adrian told me last night, the girl had issues. She carried all that baggage around. Adrian had told me that Amy's sister Ashley had told her about Amy's drinking problem, anger issues, and her borderline sex addiction. That explains why she'd used me that day. She must've been having problems and she wanted to get over them, wanted to be happy again.

My phone rang in my pocket and I picked up, still watching Amy and Ricky.

"Hello?" I asked in the sourest of moods. I could tell who it was by all the heavy breathing on the end of the line.

"Benjamin, where are you? I have a job for you to do and it needs to be done pronto," My dad said with urgency. He'd gotten back into the business a couple years ago and he was dragging me along with him. I do admit though, I loved having that power, seeing the look on people's face before I did it.

"What is it dad?" I asked with a little too much excitement in my voice. I didn't want him to think I liked taking lives. Let's face, I felt a little guilty about it.

"Ricky, you know his mom Nora correct?" My heart skipped a few beats. There was hesitation in his voice. Oh God no.

"Yes dad, of course I know Nora, her son is my best friend," I said with a small chuckle, trying to lighten the already death mood.

"… I need you to scare her Benjamin. She knows about some of the things we've been doing, Jo is telling her everything, she knows it all." He said. This was the first time I'd heard fear in my father's voice.

"Dad… I can- I can't," I said looking everywhere.

"I'm not asking you to kill her Benjamin. Son, I know she's your best friends mother, I'm not asking you to hold a gun to her head, just… scare her," I sighed and rubbed my forehead. Yeah, he pretty much was asking me to her hold a gun to her head. I looked where I'd seen Amy and Ricky earlier, but they were gone. I sighed and put my head on my steering wheel.

"Dad I-"

"If you love me Benjamin, you would do this," I'd been thrown in a corner, backed into a wall. I loved Nora and I was afraid that the Ben that loved to see blood would show up then, there would be Ricky.

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><p>That's the chapter guys! R&amp;R!<p> 


	14. Droppin' Bombs

**All characters belong to Brenda Hampton! I don't own any of the ones in this chapter.**

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><p><strong>Amy's PoV<strong>

This was what she needed, a little fast music, a few friends, and some alcohol, that always helped me. _But it's not you Amy. _I grabbed one of the large bottles of tequila from the shelf and stuffed it in the large coat that I had on. I hadn't resorted to shop lifting in a while. Back home, someone always bought it for me, one of the men who were sitting outside slumming, but here, they wouldn't do it. They were to stuck up their own ass to consider anyone else. I looked back as I let Mercedez, a new friend that I'd met a few weeks ago, distract the store owner. I was amused at her mock clumsiness. Giving one last look, I ducked around to the restrooms, bypassed the camera and left through the emergency exit, easier than I thought.

It was chilly outside and I pulled the coat tighter to me as the bottom of the bottle painfully stabbed me in the ribs. I winced lightly, but a little pain was nothing compared to how good I would feel after I finished off this bottle, straight. Tequila, a girls best friend, well a girl like me anyway.

Smirking to myself, I made my way around the building to Mercedez dark blue 2013 Mustang, what a lovely car. She'd left the door unlocked and I took it upon myself to put the bottle in her car under the passenger seat.

Grace sat in the back just staring at me through confused eyes. She'd just finished one of her crying spells a few a hours ago but I could still see the tear stains. Earlier, she'd said that she would do anything to feel better, to forget all of this ever happened. I would make her wish come true. I gave her a light smile.

"Don't worry sweetie, you'll be feeling better soon, just trust me okay?" Her eyes roamed to the seat where I'd placed the bottle under. "I'll help you turn that frown upside down and make your world go round again," I chuckled lightly and Grace rolled her eyes as she giggled. "Finally something other than tears from you," I smiled whole-heartedly at her and was about to head back into the store to get Mercedez when she called my name.

"Amy?" I turned around and leaned back into the car through the window. I raised my eyebrow at her to continue. "I just- just want to thank you, you know, for… caring for me… for opening up your house to me when I can't stay at mine," She looked at me through her distraught eyes. I shrugged and waved her comment off.

"It's nothing hun. Besides, you may not be thanking me tomorrow morning when you wake up with a throbbing headache," Which was true. I probably would hate myself because I know I have horrible, horrible hangovers, probably because I throwback bottles like a fish swims. "Now, I'll be right back, I have to get my lovely friend out of the store so she can stop making a fool of herself," I said pulling away from the car and moving back towards the convenience store.

Pulling my coat tight around me, I shivered. I thought Cali was supposed to be warm, all the time. Oh how the media loves to lie to us. Through the door, I could see the clerk fussing at Mercedez. Mercedez looked amused and continued whatever charade she was trying to pull. I laughed as I watched her pull a few chips from the rack "on accident". Poor clerk, he was having the hardest time. Deciding to help him out, I stepped into the stored and cleared my throat.

"Cey, what are you doing to this poor kid. I'm sorry sir, my friend is just so clumsy sometimes," I said grabbing Mercedez by the shoulder as she giggled like a dumb blonde. "Come on before you tear this store down,"

"Too frickin' late for that. Look at this place, who's going to clean it up," I looked around and saw a few things on the floor, it wasn't that bad. He was acting as though a tornado came through the store and tore the damn roof off. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled as Mercedez and I fled through the front door cackling. Without looking at her, I put my hand up for a high five and she complied with my gesture by not leaving me hanging.

A black Beamer pulled in front of us blocking our path and our laughing ceased immediately. Really? Really? The windows were tinted but I could see the outline of the jerk in the front seat. My anger was building as Mercedez sucked her teeth and tried to steer me around it. The car pulled up again and I huffed as I pattered over to the car until I was nearly on top of it. I banged on the window and I could hear the fear in Mercedez intakes of breaths. Well, I wasn't going to let some ass treat me like this.

Mercedez walked slowly over to me as I continued to bang on the window. She called out for me to stop but I couldn't. I was pissed.

"Amy come on, it's okay, we'll just go the other way," Mercedez tried to pull me but I wasn't willing to go with her just yet.

"I want this jerk-off to get out of the car. What is wrong with this creep?" I yelled hoping the idiot in the car would step out, instead, they responded by spinning out and making smoke hit Mercedez and I in the face. Waving the smoke out of my face I stuck up the bird at the silihoutte in the all black BMW.

Mercedez held her arms across her chest as she looked at me as though _I_ were the crazy one. Shaking her head, she stalked off towards her car. Rolling my eyes, I followed her. Who was that? It was a little weird for someone to do all that for nothing. First, I just thought it was some guy who was going to let down his window and give some corny line to Mercedez and I, but after a while I figured maybe not.

Opening the car door, I sat down as soon Mercedez cranked the car. Looking in the rearview mirror, I saw Grace gaping at me, then I turned my eyes to Mercedez who kept glancing at me with frustration. I leaned back on the seat roughly and huffed.

"What?" I forced out of my mouth. Of course I was the one that always did the wrong thing.

"Amy you can't do that," Grace spoke up from the back seat with sincerity in her voice. "The people around here are crazy, some just like my dad, well most. You can't just get angry with everyone like that, they could really hurt you. Trust me, being the daughter of a don, I've seen it before," Her eyes were cast down as she spoke. I sighed and closed my eyes. This trip was supposed to be fun and full of adventure.

"Yeah Amy, whoever that was could've been targeting you or might be now that you've nearly busted out their window. This isn't Texas Amy- no offense- you don't know people here. They don't have southern hospitality, but the hospital they put you in might," Now I felt bad. They sounded like they cared, like they knew a little too much about what they were talking about.

"I would've been oka-"

"No, you wouldn't have. You put Grace and I in danger because we were with you, especially me. People don't know too much about me around here and there's a reason for that. Just like you, I'm not from here, but I know the lives people lead here, because they did the same things in Chicago. We had to move away because I used to have an attitude that I threw on everyone and one day I went to far, so here I am. Amy they don't care if you're a female or if you're the daughter of a don like Grace, they will honestly fuck you up," I looked at her and I could see the fear sitting on top of her.

Mercedez has been through a few things, has some secret. I can tell, I can tell by the way she speaks. What have I been missing out on in Texas? Or is it just me being blind to everything around me. Maybe I should lay off the alcohol and just look around me, make myself aware of my surroundings because obviously things were happening that I wasn't aware of.

"Sorry guys I jus- I have a bad attitude and maybe I went a little to far," They didn't let out a sigh of relief like I was hoping, they didn't even give me a second look.

"It's done now, set in motion. You better hope that whoever that was in that car isn't some violent lunatic," Grace spoke softly. There were no more words spoken after that. There was a small amount of tension, but it faded away as Mercedez turned on the radio and Katy Perry was singing Firework, who could be mad or annoyed when that song was playing.

We arrived at my house just before the sun was pushed away by the moon. My mom still wasn't home from work; she probably wouldn't be home till tomorrow morning. I wasn't complaining. I'd told her that I was going to have a few friends over for a sleep over and that's what I was doing, with a twist.

Entering the house, I heard the television which was turned up pretty frickin' loud. I rolled my eyes as I saw Ashley splayed out on the couch watching some stupid reality show about college kids, I'd probably tune in later. Mercedez and Grace stood beside me as they greeted Ashley, who waved without looking up. They looked at me and smiled. Grace was finally getting a little cheery, thank God, maybe we didn't need a gathering after all, nah, I think we need it.

"Hey kid, I got you some food, I know you're hungry, moms been slackin'," I held up a McDonalds bag as she looked over the couch and held her hand out for the bag. Walking over to her, I placed it in her hand. "I didn't get you anything to drink… sorry," I said actually being sorry for the first time to her.

"S'okay. Thanks Amy," I shrugged and walked into the kitchen with the girls on my heels. I heard the bag rattling and I knew Ashley must've torn into it, she loves her some Mickey D's.

"It was nice of you to do that Amy. From what I understood, you and your sister had a strained relationship," Grace inquired leaning on the counter. Once again I shrugged and then went into the fridge and found a small bottle of orange juice.

"I'm trying to be a little nicer. I love the little brat, she was actually an okay person a couple years ago," I said walking back into the living room where my sister was. She was still chilled out, but now she was munching on her fries. Leaning over the couch I handed her the juice and stole one of her fries. She didn't say anything just cracked the plastic bottle open and took a sip. This was new for us. Also, I figured if I didn't tell her I was trying to be nicer, it would work out so much better.

"Aim, we forgot the-" Mercedez glanced at Ashley. "Uh… something in the car. I'll be right back," I gave her a thumbs up and then looked back at my sister. Walking around the couch I sat on the arm where her feet were.

"Ash, I'm getting ready to have a get together, are you okay with that? We might be loud-"

"And drunk or stoned?" I winced but I didn't answer her. She wasn't saying to get under my skin, she just knew what was about to go down. "Don't worry, I'm about to go to my room," She glanced at me. I couldn't make eye contact with her, I didn't want to get mad or anything.

"Want to join us? You don't have to do anything you don't want to," She gave me a crazy look before rolling her eyes. I was new at this being nice to her thing I didn't know what to really say, especially since I'd decided that I wanted to be nicer to her when I woke up. Ricky suggested it after I told him how much we didn't get along.

"No thanks, I would like to remember what I did tonight. Besides, I don't want to turn into some alcohol dependent sleaze," The "like you" was implied in her tone. Flinching I stood up from the armrest before I said something I would regret. Mercedez walked in just I was going towards the kitchen. The bottle was in her hand. I smiled.

We walked in as Grace got off the phone. She had this crazy look in her eye, I knew that look. She was ready to have fun, ready to let go. Am I really about to corrupt this good girl? My heart beat double time. I can remember when I wanted to be like Grace, not her in particular because I didn't know her, but just… good. I looked over her, she looked tired, hurt. What was wrong with me? I couldn't do this to her. What would Ricky say? _My God Amy, put your big girl thong on, it's just for a night, just one night that's all. You haven't let loose in so long, that's all I want is one night. _My head and body moaned in unison. One night and that was it. I wouldn't become the hardcore alcohol abusing, attitude bringing, substance abuse bitch that I used to be.

"So what's up, who we inviting?" Mercedez asked with a smirk on her face.

"The question is, who are we not inviting. It's party time girls, so let's party, the weekend is here and no one else is throwing a party," Grace rang out.

"Um guys, small get together, this is still my house. Plus we didn't get enough alcohol for everyone," I sounded like a scared little child, probably because that was what I felt like right now. Shit.

"It's okay darling, that's why you tell people to bring liquor, it'll be great. Remember, this is for Grace isn't that right Grace?" Mercedez said and Grace nodded her head. I huffed, not really wanting to do this anymore. A party sounded like trouble, I mean I was going to invite a few people over but I guess small get together meant nothing to anyone anymore.

"What would Ricky say?" The room grew quiet and I swear the living room got quiet to.

"Ricky would have his ass over here throwing down with the rest of us. Come on Amy don't be a buzz kill," Me, the buzz kill? Never. I really didn't like that term being used on me. Amy Jurgens was not a buzz kill. Hell, I was the fuckin' party.

"Okay, invite whoever. I'll show you how much of a buzz kill that I'm not." I took the bottle of tequila from Mercedez, opened it, and turned it up for a few long seconds. _Damn that's good_. Grace and Mercedez smirked at me and I could already feel my buzz coming. "Let's roll bitches," I said smirking.

**Ashley's PoV**

I sat on the top step as I watched the drunken teenagers gyrate all over each other and make-out like it was their last day on earth. It was my self-proclaimed duty to block everything upstairs, while I keep an eye on things down here. Amy flounced around the house like a rag doll being tossed around or something, she was drunk out of her wits. I would have to take care of that later on tonight, how wonderful. Plus, I would probably have to take care of Grace too, since she was staying with us and all. Rolling my eyes, I sighed and leaned my head against the wall.

Closing my eyes, I tried to will myself to wake up hoping that all of this was just a dream that dad was still alive and we were back in Texas, although I hated that place, it held so much memory. Opening my eyes, I saw the front door opening slowly, in walked Adrian who looked damn pissed. Our door slammed shut, no one noticed, I was hoping she didn't look up and see me, she did, but she made no effort to come up and speak to me, she just rolled her eyes like I was the reason for all her problems.

Walking into the kitchen, she looked around, searching, probably for Ricky, he wasn't here. I watched everyone who came through that front door and he hadn't shown up yet, he probably wasn't going to. Amy stormed out of the kitchen and looked up at me. She didn't look angry, just annoyed, but not at me, for the first time in her life. Adrian followed behind her and just as, Amy was about to walk off, Adrian grabbed her arm and Amy snatched it away, uh oh.

"So what, now it's your job to be her friend, to take care of her?" Adrian shouted at Amy, everyone noticed.

"I'm doing a much better job than you are. All you do is bitch and moan about Ricky from what I hear. You don't care about her, all you think about is screwing her brother all the time," There was silence as the music played loudly in the background. I looked on at the two girls that I knew hated one another.

Adrian smirked at Amy.

"Yeah, well you do to, you just do a better job of hiding it, but guess what, I don't have to hide because I don't have to just hope one day he falls between my legs. All I have to do is call him up and open wide," There were gasps and shocked looks all around.

"I can't believe that we're arguing about Grace and you still manage to throw in Ricky, you are so selfish," Amy had a look of disgust on her face. She wasn't exactly selfless herself, but I guess she thought she was.

"I'm the selfish one? Look at what you did? This is all for you Amy. You're the drunk and the party girl, she's not. Grace isn't the type to go out and just drink her life away like you have," I winced and my heart started beating fast as Amy glanced at me. Amy's face turned into a scowl.

"Don't ever do that again. Don't act like you know who I am because you don't, you're just some stupid bitch who got the wrong fucking information," Amy walked towards Adrian with a killer look in her eyes. The information wasn't wrong, she just wanted it to be. Amy looked at me again and shook her head.

"So you didn't go to therapy? You don't have anger problems? You're not a slut who just likes to have sex when she's feeling down on herself? You're not a drunk? I know more than you think," Amy's fists clenched together at her sides. She stepped closer to Adrian if that's possible. Amy looked around the room as everyone stared at her in anticipation. There were whispers and shocked looks on all the faces in earshot of Adrian and Amy's spat. I wanted to crawl into myself and hide.

"I swear," Amy chuckled coldly, "God I swear. If all these people weren't here to witness, bitch I would fucking kill you. I would beat you within an inch of your life, I would leave you bleeding on this fuckin' floor. And trust me, you wouldn't be recognizable ever again," I stood up because I knew that Amy wasn't joking around with Adrian. Adrian thought she was because she was smiling wickedly, but I could tell that more than a few people in the room could see that Amy was crazy, plus, she'd even sobered up a little.

"You honestly think I'm scared of you don't you?" Amy looked away and laughed at Adrian again.

"No, but I think you need to be, for your own safety. Adrian, you don't know half the things that I'm capable of. I needed therapy for a reason," Adrian winced openly. Amy sized her up and smirked. She wasn't lying; she could be a little crazy at times, more than a little.

Amy stared into Adrian's eyes without blinking, smirking, Amy jumped at her and Adrian's flinch didn't go unnoticed.

"Your bark is so much bigger than your bite. Let's get something straight before you run out of this house crying for your mommy, you're the poodle and I'm the fuckin' pitbull," Amy moved toward her further and Adrian stepped back. I don't know if she was afraid or what, but I knew I needed to step in. Coming down the stairs swiftly, I grabbed Amy's arm and she looked at me before snatching it away.

"Amy you need to calm down before you do something stupid," She stared at me with hatred in her eyes. She knew that I told Adrian all those things about her. Shit, where was Mercedez when I needed her. I know I didn't really know her like that, but she and Amy grew close fast and I knew she wouldn't let anything happen to her. "Adrian, you need to leave. NOW," Adrian looked at me before stepping away from Amy and shifting through the crowd who didn't make an effort to part for her. "Come on Amy you need to come up-"

"I'm not going anywhere with you, you ratted me out to that slut and then you have the nerve to act like you care. I fuckin hate you Ashley, all you are is a mistake to me," She shoved me hard and I fell to the floor, everyone looked down on me as Amy crept up the stairs with her head up and her back straight, unscathed by everything that had just happened.

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><p>There is a possibility of a rewrite because I don't know if I'm feeling this chapter… R&amp;R anyway…. P.S. Sorry for all the cussing!<p> 


	15. Anne Who?

*** Brenda Hampton owns all secret life character. I have no intention of stealing her story or characters at all.

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><p>*Just want to let you know, I worked on this during Hurricane Isaac lol. This is it, the update, enjoy and then review.<p>

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><p><strong>Amy's PoV<strong>

Some sick part inside of me loved the new attention I was getting, the other, not so much. Before the party Friday, I'd been known as the nice, quiet, innocent, new girl, but now, I was the new bad bitch. People wouldn't stop talking about what had happened a couple of weeks ago Friday, the day that I truly regretted. It was the reason that my fellow peers found out about my problems, even if they thought they were only rumors. It was the reason that Adrian had been getting on my case a lot more lately. I knew that she wouldn't back down, I didn't want her to.

She wasn't scared that night; she was surprised, caught off guard. Adrian didn't think that I would really go after her, but how wrong she was?

Grace began to avoid me, going back to Adrian for all her tribulations, even staying with her now. It seemed like everyone was afraid of me, or pitied me. I wasn't with the pity, the fear, I could handle.

On the upside though, I'd established myself at the new school, even if it wasn't the way I wanted to. I'd been called into the counselor's office; she wanted to get in my business, naturally. She had finally decided to go through my file and she saw all the problems from my old school, she'd seen all my therapy sessions. Now she wanted me to come to her office twice a week so we could talk. This was exactly what I wanted to evade. Caitlyn, the counselor, had even called my mom, who was now keeping a closer eye on me. I couldn't get over the disappointment that crossed her eyes every time she looked my way.

Ashley ignored all contact with me. She didn't even like being in the room with me, or walking passed me for that matter. I'd told her I hated her, which made my heart feel like it was cracking every time I thought about it. I was in the heat of the moment at the time and she had told Adrian everything about me, leaving out nothing. It was the ultimate betrayal; I wasn't ready to apologize to her yet.

Sitting outside on the curb in front of the school, I held back the tears that were threatening to fall. I hated this. I hated being like this. I'd worked so hard to change, and I had somewhat, but one night ruined everything. It was karma that was the only way I could explain this mess that I'd gotten myself into.

I threw my head in my hands and grumbled. Then, I ran my hands through my hair. It felt right to skip class today, to skip a session with the counselor. I deserved a break.

The sun beat down on top of me as the cool air slapped my bare skin. I welcomed the chill bumps that ran up my arm. This is how I would punish myself, by sitting in the cold. I was too proud to apologize to my sister, who was really the only one I cared about, not matter how much I insulted her or was mean to her. She and my mother's opinions were the only ones that actually mattered. Everyone else didn't count; they wouldn't be there with me in the long haul.

I felt like I'd let them down, my family. My mom had rooted for me as I went through therapy, she had wanted me to get better and I thought I had, but now, I wasn't so sure. This time, I would go back, I would go to someone better; I would make this work, for my family, for myself. The question was did I want it to work? I'd said the same thing last time and now I was right back at the beginning.

The wind stopped hitting my back abruptly and I realized that someone had thrown a jacket around my shoulders. I knew it was him, I could smell his scent on the thick coat. Turning my head to look up, I had to squint to get my eyes to focus passed the bright sunlight. He stood there smiling down at me sympathetically. I didn't need his pity either.

"What do you want?" I asked shrugging off his jacket. Averting my eyes to the side, I ran my fingers through my hair. He walked from behind me and sat down on the curb, putting his hand on my knee. "Can't you see I want to be alone?" I asked bitterly, snapping my head around to look at him. He gave me a curt chuckle.

"Maybe we can be alone together," he said finally looking at me. Sighing, I remembered that this was the guy I had poured my heart out to one fateful night, and then I'd stayed the night in his room. He'd slept on the floor, giving me the bed like a gentleman. "Come on," he said standing up and pulling me with him. His grip was strong against my own, there was no way that I would be able to let go.

Dusting off the back of my pants as we walked, I saw that same black car that was at the convenient store before the party at my house. My heart picked up speed as I moved closer to Ricky. He glanced down at me and then looked at the car, pausing only for a moment to stare at it, before the car sped off. I didn't think we could get any closer until he pulled me into his arms and we continued on our journey. I could feel how tense he had gotten. I could feel the fierceness as our skin touched. That car or whoever was occupying it had made him upset.

"Who was that?" I asked lowly. He continued to walk along the sidewalk until we reached his car. "Ricky?"

"Don't worry about it," he said opening the door for me. I slowly got in, still planning on getting the name of the man or woman, who seemed to take in interest in me all of a sudden.

**George's PoV**

_I looked at the large black van, seething. My baby girl was in there, suffering. There was no telling what they were doing to her, what they had done to her. This was some stupid game they were playing, sending me letters, ransom notes. What did they want from me? They were already tearing my family apart. _

_I knew it was Marshall; he was the only man that would do this to me. I'd taken Anne from him, he didn't deserve her. Anne couldn't lead the life of a Mafia wife, she was to sweet, to innocent. I'd gotten out of it barely with my life and I'd taken Anne with me. She'd suspected that he was involved in criminal things, but I'm sure she wouldn't have been able to handle this. Now, because of me, our precious little girl was hurting, scared. _

_Marshall didn't have the guts to do it himself, so he'd hired someone off the street, to do it. Joseph had scraped up that information for me. He was willing to help me, we had been friends once, and I was even his daughter's godfather. _

_I hadn't seen Grace in so long, she probably wouldn't remember me. She and Amy had played together whenever I'd visited California to see my parents. Every once in a while Amy would talk about her, well, before she was taken. After I got her back, I would let her visit Grace. _

_Sighing, I put my head in my hands. Why couldn't I just go get her now? She was right there in my contact. All I had to do was reach out and touch her. Putting my hand on the door handle, I felt a hand reach over and grab my arm. _

"_George, we have to wait," Joseph said demandingly. _

"_She's right there Joe, all I have to do is go get her," I said looking at him incredulously. _

"_We could risk them killing her George. For all we know right now, they could be watching us, they could know that we were here and be waiting for us to make the wrong move," He said putting his hands back on the steering wheel. They probably couldn't see us. The windows were to dark for anyone outside to see in. _

"_That's my daughter and I need to go get her," I put my hand on the door handle again. "If this was Grace, you would do the same thing," I put my hand on the gun that was on my waist and opened the door stepping outside of the safety zone. _

**Anne's PoV**

I remember the day that George came back with our daughter in his arms. Amy looked so traumatized, she was barely moving. I'd cried over her that night, cradled her in my arms as she lay in her bed wide awake, sweating. She didn't say, but I knew that she was afraid of the nightmares.

Amy was only a toddler; she shouldn't have had to go through all of that. I knew it had, had something to do with George. I'd played the naïve wife for the sake of our children, our marriage. I'd known long ago that he was involved in some shady activities. Marshall hadn't tried to hide his life from me and George was always around him, along with another guy I wasn't too familiar with.

I don't understand why I was so drawn to all of it. The darkness of the whole situation. It had added excitement to my life, before I had the kids, then it started to scare me. One of my daughters being taken had been my worst fear, and I was scared to death when she'd come up missing. That very moment made me realize that I couldn't let my daughters grow up in such a place, in such a life.

I'd made the decision to move away from California, to Texas, it hadn't made much of a difference. George was still involved with them, my father had told me one day when I went to visit him in prison. Anthony Rizzolo had been a very dangerous man at one point in his life, well, up until the day he died actually. George had no idea who I really was, that I was a mafia princess. I knew a lot about how it worked, and how to work it. My mother had taken me away from that life before my eighteenth birthday, changing my name, to something less mafia like.

At first, it took me awhile to get used to the name Anne Grant, it was so plain, so boring. For a long time, I resented my mother for snatching me away from such a perfect life, but now I knew how she felt. I respected her for it. I was too young to understand the hazards of it, the poison that ran through it. I'd spent months, angry with George for reentering me into such a life, but I'd never left.

Every man that I was ever attracted to was just like my father in so many ways. They were strong, dangerous, knew how to take care of their families, in yet, they all cheated. Yes, my father was a cheater, a drug addict too. He'd gotten too involved with his own "production". My mother told me the stories after she was diagnosed with cancer. She felt like she should tell me before she passed away. They'd both kept so much from me, trying to protect me. That's why I hadn't told my daughters about their father's life, that's why my husband didn't tell me about his life

It had taken me years to figure out that it was all about protection, keeping one another in the dark to make sure we lived. My father hadn't been so considerate, putting me and my mother's life in danger continuously. That's not the life I want for Amy and Ashley, and they weren't going to get it. Now that George was gone, it was over, that's why I'd come back to California. There was nothing to worry about anymore.

**Ricky's PoV**

Michael Rivera was beginning to become a nuisance in my life and I wanted him to be taken care of. I'd felt Amy tense up when his car stopped in front of us. He had her afraid and that awakened this beast inside of me. I pulled her closer to me, wanting to protect her from him, but I knew how impossible that would be. I really needed to smoke; this whole situation was almost puzzling to me. Something in her body movements had let me know that she'd recognized the car, which scared me even more than I probably should be.

We sat in the car in silence as I drove. The atmosphere inside was thick, almost suffocating. I cut the air on inside hoping that it would clear some of the air. Amy shivered in her seat, I smiled. The girl was always cold, which was something we definitely didn't have in common. I loved the cold air. Surprising me, she cut the air off and I didn't know whether to be upset, shocked, or amused. She'd done it so freely, like it was her car.

"It's freezing in here," she stated, answering the question I was about to ask. "It's inconsiderate of you not to ask me if I'm cold or not before you just turn the air conditioner on. I'm the passenger," she said crossing her arms. I smirked and glanced at her. She had her lips turned into this cute pout and I just wanted to lean over and kiss her. _Bad thought Ricky, very bad thought._ I scolded myself.

"Well it's my car and I'm the driver, which makes me more important than you," I stated playfully. Giving her a fleeting look, I saw the shocked expression on her face which made me laugh.

"Fine, I'll turn the air back on so we can both be sneezing and coughing tomorrow," she said putting her hand back on the A/C button, but I put my hand on top of hers to stop her. Her skin was so soft. I grabbed her hand gently and kissed the back of it as I looked at the road. She pulled her hand away looking out the window, but I'd already noticed the redness creeping up her cheeks. I smirked.

"I don't get sick," I said trying to make her comfortable again, not regretting any of the decisions I've made since I've been with her today. "It's not possible for me," she turned back around in her seat to look at me. "But for you, I'll leave the air off, I'm sure I'll live," she smiled shyly. Wow, I was laying it on thick today. I'd never really had to work this hard for a girl, usually they kind of fall at my feet. However, I didn't really mind the challenge of this one.

"Thanks… I guess," she said unsure of herself, pushing her hair behind her air, sadly I wanted to do that. Amy bit her bottom lip and looked into the side mirror of my car. "Ricky, I don't know if you noticed this, but I think we're being followed," she said still looking in the mirror. Looking into mine quickly, I noticed the black car behind us, damn that Michael Rivera.

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><p>Between graduating high school and starting college it been rough, but guess what, it is done, finally a new chapter. R&amp;R!<p> 


	16. All About Amy

**I do not own the Secret Life of the American Teenager in any kind of way; it's all from Brenda Hampton.**

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><p><strong>Grace's PoV<strong>

Guilt washed over me every time I walked past Amy and didn't converse with her. I felt bad for leaving her high and dry by herself to deal with all of this. She was a good person and she didn't deserve to be thrown aside and talked about. Adrian had done this to her, tricking Ashley into telling her Amy's secrets, and now everyone knew. Adrian had done some mean things, but this took the cake. So, why was I still hanging with her?

Sometimes I felt like I just couldn't get away. We were so attached. I admit we had our problems when we were much younger, but it all changed when she started dating Ricky. Personally, I thought she was a slut, still do, yet, I've learned how to keep my opinions to myself when it came to Adrian. I didn't want her flying off the handle and threatening my life or anything. She was quite the drama queen.

Speaking of, she chose that moment to come waltzing down the hallway. I rolled my eyes heavily. Ever since I'd been staying with her, I've tried to get away from her. All she talked about was herself, herself, my brother, and let me see, oh, herself. Can you say conceited and self-absorbed? Although, she had distracted me from my light depression, which was actually going away anyway thanks to Amy. Amy had said all the right things, forced me to go outside and get some sunshine, at first, I didn't like it, just wanted her to leave me alone and let me wallow in my desolation, but she hadn't. Now, what was I doing to her?

She went from being this innocent girl to the guilty party in an instant. No one had taken the time to try to understand her or hear her side of the story. All of our peers stared at her and whispered, but I had to give it to Amy, she was taking it better than I would.

"Have you seen your brother?" Adrian asked angrily, nearly standing on top of me. She was tense. I dragged my purse onto my shoulder and huffed.

"No, Adrian I haven't," I said shutting my locker and turning on my heels to walk to my next class. "I don't keep him in my back pocket," I heard her heels clicking behind me. She was practically running.

"Is something wrong? Is he cheating on me? Grace I haven't had sex with Ricky in two weeks," she said whining. I paused for a moment, not looking at her, only shaking my head, and then continuing the walk to my English class.

"Gross, I really don't want to hear about you and my brother sleeping together Adrian," I said trying to shake the images out of my head.

"Sorry, forgot about your virgin ears, virgin Mary," she said rolling her eyes. I grumbled incoherently.

"If you haven't heard, the Virgin Mary was a pretty significant person in the bible, unlike you who would probably be stoned for being such a whore," I stated agitated. She gasped, grabbing my shoulder and stepping in front of me. I raised my eyebrow at her, wondering why she was stopping me.

"What did you just say to me?" She asked in disbelief. I removed her hand from my arm and she stepped back slowly. "Why are you being a bitch? All week you've been saying things out-of-the-way to me, like I'm some irrelevant little girl. What's your problem? Did Amy rub off on you?" She asked. Once again, she was trying to bash Amy. I didn't like that she talked about her with so much disrespect.

"Leave Amy out of this Adrian. This is about you and me, well mostly about you," I brushed past her, trying to get to my class as soon as possible. "I'm going to class, you should go to," I shouted back to her as I cut around the corner. This situation would've gone better if I didn't have to go home with her.

Entering my class, I threw my purse down and plopped into my seat; all talking in the classroom ceased as Adrian walked in angrily, huffing and puffing.

"Were not done Castel. Tell me… tell me what you're fuckin' deal is. I ask you about your brother and you go all fanatical on me. What's this about?" She shouted madly from the front of the room. All eyes were on me waiting for my response, I ignored them.

"I'm not doing this here Adrian. I will not entertain people with drama. Maybe when we get somewhere more private, we'll talk," I said with a surprising calmness.

"Damn privacy Grace," Adrian declared, leisurely walking towards me. She was pushing me, and I really didn't want to do this here. I was more calm and collected than this, something wasn't right for me to be all upset at school. I never let shit like this get to me.

"Adrian, I'm trying not to hurt your feelings," I whispered to her as she got closer to me, all the students were still staring at us. A few of them had their phones out, texting their friends and recording what was happening.

"Hurt my feelings Grace? I doubt you could do that, even Amy couldn't do it and she's a natural-born Narcissist bitch, well that's what Ashley says anyway," she smirked satisfactorily. I shook my head at her. She's at it again, bringing Amy up where she's not needed.

"Why do you keep talking about her?" I asked loudly. "You hate that everyone loved her, everyone, even Ricky and Ben, and don't think I don't know about you and Ben, we _all_ know about that. My brother is just too stupid or to nice too nice to leave you. So I hope, I hope Amy takes him away from you and I hope they live happily ever after because you don't deserve him, so stop bitching and moaning about Amy wanting him because trust me, it's not her," I said walking closer to Adrian with every word. Instead of shrinking back, she stood there like I knew she would. Adrian wasn't the type to back down, I'm sure I would be on her shit list now, but who cares? Adrian and I were done. I've seen her for what she truly is.

**Nora's PoV**

I don't know what to do anymore. This whole situation was becoming too much to bear. _Joseph what went wrong? _I asked myself as I sat in front of the lawyer's desk. We were supposed to be heading over to the prison to see him, to sort a few things out. The system had yet to set a court date, which was another thing that was nagging me. They were going to put it off to try to get more information, more evidence.

The list of charges kept extending every day. I couldn't tell you all the things that he could possibly be spending the rest of his life in jail for, or worse, put on death row. I ran my fingers through my hair thinking about it. What would I tell Grace? She wouldn't even come home. Ricky already knew the possibilities, and he was holding back his feelings pretty well. I knew it was killing him. Joseph is the only father he knew, since his own daddy was never around. I used to blame myself for that.

"Okay, so we know they have him for murder, he didn't have contact with the victim, but he got someone else to do it, so that's up to fifteen years. Then you bring in the racketeering charges," he said moving papers around, and examining them as he spoke. I'd been sitting here listening to this all day, it was hell to hear that this was damn near hopeless. This was too much to handle right now; I won't put myself through this.

Picking up my folders and wallet, I stuffed it all in my tote bag; he stopped to stare up at me over his glasses.

"Nora, where are you going?" he asked. "We're not finished with this," he said as I turned my back to walk towards the door.

"I just can't do this today, I'm sorry. Please, give me some time," I said looking back at him.

"Joseph doesn't have time Nora. We have to at least get him out on bail, get him released with limitations," Graham said standing up from his desk, his hands still on top of it. I sighed. He seemed to see the trepidations in my body. He relaxed a bit, huffing lightly. "Okay… Okay Nora, we'll uh… we'll pick up again next week Friday if that's good for you. I'll just go visit Joe and tell him," he said taking his glasses off and rubbing down his face.

"Thank you for understanding Graham," I said putting my hand on the door knob. "Look, tell Joseph that I'm sorry I didn't come today," I said before walking out of the door.

Today was the first time I wouldn't see him since he's been away, and somehow, I didn't feel bad about it. I need this time to myself. I need to get Grace back home, so we can deal with her feelings. It's up to me to pull this family together, and I have to prepare for the worst. I have to learn to live without him, no matter how much it kills me inside.

**Ben's PoV**

I didn't feel right about this. Nora was a good person, she was only trying to protect her family, but I had to protect mine too. My dad was counting on me to get this right. It wasn't like I hadn't done it before; it was just different with the victim being her. I loved Nora, she'd been there for me, and cared for me like only a mother knew how. This was turning into an inner battle with my self. My father was calling me every hour telling me that it was for the best. I was actually starting to believe him.

Last night at the dinner table, we were silent, well, I was silent. He kept badgering me, telling me that I had to do it right. He was trying to push me into it, but he didn't know that I couldn't, that I didn't want to. Damn it, what have I gotten myself into?

Now, here I was sitting here watching her, listening to Peyton and Grant, my friends outside of Ricky and Grant High School. They weren't having qualms about any of this because they didn't know her. They hated the Castels, all of them. Especially Peyton, whose dad used to work for Joseph, until Joseph exiled him and brought in, Peyton's dad's brother George. George wasn't talked about much in our world, he'd been a sellout, cut the family for his own, but Joseph couldn't get away from him. George had been his best friend.

"So, what's the plan Ben?" Peyton asked from the passenger seat. He ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair. Peyton Jurgens determined to follow in his father's footsteps and damn was he doing a great job of it, hell, he was practically out doing his father. He was a pretty scary guy to be as small as he was, moderately intimidating.

"There is no plan yet, just sit back and look pretty right now," I said smirking at them. Peyton brushed his brown bangs to the side, rubbing his stomach.

"I can do that," he said leaning back with his hands behind his head. I could never break his heart and tell him that he wasn't that pretty, the thought made me smile.

"Is that her?" Grant asked from behind us. I looked in the rearview mirror to see her coming out of the lawyer's office. She looked as though she were crying. Shit, could I really do this to her? She's going through all of this shit, was it right for me to disrupt her life with more bull. Was I really going to be able to hurt her?

**Amy's PoV**

Ricky had been on his phone for a while. I'm not sure who he was talking to, but he sounded upset. I pulled my legs to my chest which was a pretty hard task since I was in a seatbelt, but I made it work. I looked in the rearview mirror still watching the black car behind us. Ricky glanced at me and then looked in his side mirror. I didn't pay much attention to his conversation.

"Don't worry about it, I'll fix it," he said authoritatively before throwing the phone into the backseat. His knuckles gripped the steering wheel tighter and touched his arm. He looked at my hand; I slowly pulled it away, putting it back in my lap. "Do you ever get so tired of someone that you'll do anything to get rid of them?" He asked me seriously. Looking at him confused, I opened my mouth, and then closed it.

"Um, where is this question coming from and where is it going?" I asked with a blank chuckle. Ricky didn't answer me, only sped up as the black car did the same behind us. "Ricky is everything okay?" I asked looking back at the car again. I had a feeling the occupant of the black vehicle was the reason for his question.

"Things are never okay with me," he said under his breath. His phone rang from the back seat and he didn't bother to try to reach back and receive it.

"Do you want me to get that?" I asked pointing to the back seat and leaning my head on my knees.

"No, let it ring. I already know who it is," he spoke at me. He wasn't paying much attention to anything at all. I noticed that he was more distracted than usual. He slammed his hands on the wheel and I flinched, but not enough for him to notice. It looked as though he were trying to come up with a plan. Years ago, my father and I had been involved in a situation like this.

_**Flashback**_

_My father sped down the highway in his vintage black Camaro. I was strapped tightly in the backseat, tears falling down my face. He looked back at me, sympathy and fear in his eyes. The large grey truck slammed into the back of our car and I screamed crying harder. _

"_It's going to be okay baby. Daddy's going to protect you from the bad people," he said reaching back and touching my hand. I grabbed his hand not wanting to let go. I squeezed it tightly into my little hand. Bravely, I let go of it as I lifted my head to see what was going on behind us, but the truck wasn't there anymore, instead it was beside us, ramming into the car. _

_My seat belt snapped off as I flew to the other side of the car, bumping my head on the window. _

"_Daddy," I called out in my tiny voice, whimpering. He looked back quickly with wide eyes. Crawling back to the middle of the seat, I tried to put my belt back on, but it wouldn't click. The truck rammed us again and I screeched. Glancing out the window, I could see a black gun pointed at the window. _

"_Oh God," my dad said from the front seat, obviously seeing the same thing I was. "Ames, sweetie, I want you to get on the floor okay baby, cover your head and don't get up until I tell you to," he said frantically as I followed his directions and closed my eyes, hoping this would end soon. _

_The car swerved as I heard shots ring out into the air. Glass shattered and I felt it rain down on my head, some piercing my skin. Why were these men trying to hurt us? _

_Another shot was fired as our car swerved again; I could feel us taking a large dip as my bodied banged into the seat in front of me. I screamed as my daddy called out for me. There was a screeching of tires that came from above us on the road. The sound of shouting filled my ears. _

"_What do you want? I thought I made it clear I was finished," My daddy said, panic in his voice. I heard a dark, sinister laugh. Peeking from my hiding space, I saw this man that reminded me of the California surfers my mother used to tell me about. The way she described them fit this man perfectly. He had blonde shaggy hair, light green eyes, and his skin looked like he'd been in the sun too long. _

"_Oh George, you just don't know how much we're not finished with you," he said pulling my daddy out of the car, daddy went willingly. I gasped as I saw a knife to his throat. One of the boys with the man that had my daddy looked into the car. _

"_Well hey there kitty, you want to come for a ride with us?" he asked smiling at me. I shook my head no, but he was reaching into the car pulling me out. _

"_Nooooo! Daddy, help me! Daddy," I screeched as the man held me in the air. I kicked at him frantically, not seeing my daddy anywhere in sight. "Daddy," I cried as the man shook me trying to get me to stop kicking him, before walking away with me. _

_**End of Flashback**_

**Amy's PoV (Continued Moments Later)**

The car stopped abruptly behind us as Ricky pulled into an abandoned parking lot on the outskirts of town. I'd long since put my legs back on the floor properly, since we were speeding down the highway and I didn't want to be crushed with my knees implanted in my chest. Ricky snatched of his seatbelt, leaning over me and opened the glove compartment. I looked at the pistol inside of it, my eyes widening. What the hell?

"Stay in the car," he said as he snatched it into his hand and got out of the car.

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><p>Yay, another update (I owe you guys)! Tell me what you think of this chapter guys. Do you think Grace was wrong for dropping Amy? Do you think Adrian is a little too Amy obsessed? What about Ben, what's he going to do? Oh all this drama! Review, Review, Review! Love you guys.<p> 


	17. Question Everything?

**The Secret Life of the American Teenager belongs to Brenda Hampton as well as noticeable characters in this fanfic.**

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><p>*Author's Note: So recently I've been rereading this story and have noticed some mistakes I've made, so somewhere in the near future I will be rewriting most of it. Also, I realized that I've put that Joseph's hair is blonde in one chapter, and black in another, so just to clarify, his hair is black. In addition you will find that at the end of the story, I have answered some of your questions, but I can't answer them all because I don't want to give too much away. If I didn't answer your question, it's nothing personal. Okay, thanks for reading this long author's note; I won't delay you any further.<p>

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><p><strong>Ricky's PoV<strong>

Michael had put up a fight, but it didn't take me long to get him on the ground. He'd made the mistake of turning his back on me, and that's when I went for him, throwing him to the ground. His nose was dripping with blood and I could see his eye swelling. Even through all of that, he still managed to have a smug look on his face, because he knew even if I wanted to, I couldn't kill him. His father was high on the food chain just like mine, and I knew me causing his death would start a war. So, instead, I just went for kicking his ass, sending him a message.

Of course, that really wouldn't stop him because we'd been in this position before. All he was trying to do was prove that he was better than me, that he deserved the shot I had, but he was power hungry. If David, his father, gave him a chance, he would take down the whole state of California, taking the business with it. So, Michael was only allowed to do surveillance, but I wish that he wouldn't do it on me.

A heard the car door slam snapping me out of my trance. I'd told her to stay in the car for a reason, but she didn't seem to understand that, since she was walking over to me. I didn't want Amy to see me like this, for who I really am. I was afraid that she would judge me, and turn her back on me, and I didn't need that from her. However, I couldn't tell her that exactly, so as an alternative, I just took to being angry.

"What did I say? Didn't I tell you to stay in the car?" I asked my voice gruff and infuriated. She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed.

"Ricky, I'm not a little girl and I can see you through the back window, I may as well come out for the live performance," she said calmly. Amy glanced down at Michael who was gawking at her. I rammed my fist into his eye and he winced. I didn't want him looking at her. I didn't want anyone looking at her but me.

"She's right," Michael said below me chuckling. "She's no little girl," That got him a good kick to the ribs after I stood up. He rolled over and grabbed them, milling around like an injured rodent. I kicked him again, this time he rolled over onto his back.

"You know, I should really shoot you, but you and I both know that I can't do that, so instead, I'm going to get you as close to death as possible," I stated unemotionally. I waited for a gasp or a flinch from Amy, but it never came; although, she did walk towards me, but I put up my hand to stop her.

"Don't come over here," I said without looking at her. She stopped in mid step. I saw her shift from side to side, becoming restless.

"What Ricky, are you afraid I'm going to tell your bitch what this is really about," he said snickering. Amy stopped moving, squeezing her forearms tighter to her chest, and biting her lips. "Or should I just tell her about what happened to her father?" I was confused at the question. It made me pause for a second. "Since you had your hand in that cookie jar," he chuckled. He only further confused me. I moved away from him, stepping towards Amy, but she shifted past me.

"What about my father? You know what happened to him?" She asked curiously. Amy squatted beside his form, looking at his face.

"Like I would tell you without getting something in return," I could hear the suggestion in his voice. He reached out to touch her leg, but she slapped his hand away, getting angry.

"I would never let you touch me," she said at a cool madness. I felt pride in the fact that he would never have a chance with her. That slims my competition down, not that I had any anyway.

"Who said I would ask for your permission?" he reached for her again, but she slapped him, making him cry out in pain from his already bruised face. I chuckled, finding amusement in the way that Amy was handling him.

"If you ever try to lay a hand on me, I would cut your fingers off and feed them to you. You are worthless and you're right where you belong, on the ground," she said making me shiver. If I didn't know any better, I would just about say that Amy grew up around the mafia. It was almost scary to think. "Oh and another thing, stop following me around," she said with finality before getting up, walking off to the car. I looked at him laying there as if he were dead. I should've just let her take care of it in the first place; it probably wouldn't have taken as long as it did. I grinned a little too happily.

"Ricky, if you don't mind, could you hurry up? We have some things to talk about?" My grin dropped instantly as Amy called out to me. She didn't really sound too happy and I feared the worst.

**Ashley's PoV**

I stood at the mouth of the school entrance. I hadn't been here for a few days. I'd skipped just to get away from Adrian and to avoid Amy. The guilt of what I had done, how I sold out my sister, was starting to sink in. After Amy's altercation with Adrian, I spent hours in my room disappointed in myself. Oddly enough though, I hadn't cut into my arms or any other place on my body. I hadn't used the blade not once, there was no need to. Every time I thought about doing it, I became repulsed at the action. How had I gotten so down that I resorted to harming my body? I realized that the person I blamed before,-Amy- was not at fault; in fact, it was my own fault, for letting her bring me to a point as such.

I was the one who let her words hurt me. It was I who allowed her to talk down to me, to let me rest in the dumps of my hatred towards myself. Why couldn't I be as happy as she is? Why couldn't I be fearless like my big sister? Amy had done things that deserved the punishment of death and gotten away with them, so why couldn't I? My sister goes through her life not caring how she treats people, choosing the people who are worthy for her love, she has no feelings. Yet, people like me, good people, we hurt all the time, people barely notice that we exist. To try and get my own mother's attention, I cut myself, and even then, she didn't see me. The only person she focused most of her attention on was Amy, it was precious Amy who was taken as a child, it was Amy who could get away with things because she was just coping, but what was I supposed to do?

I watched my sister hurt my mother and father so much. She would turn her nose up at them when they offered her help; she didn't deserve the attention they gave to her. I felt like the orphan child in my own house. I was like Cinderella with no happy ending, where was my prince charming? Amy had the whole world at her feet, stepping on everyone just to reach the top. She was ruthless and I don't know if I could ever get that way, but I would damn sure try.

If this is what it took for me to get noticed then why not? Everything else was a fail so far, this was my last resort. This was my last attempt to take the world by storm. I didn't want to be known as Amy's little sister, I want to be Ashley, the individual. It's my turn to be noticed while my sister sits in the background, feeling like I felt. I'm going to take this world into the palm of my hands and shake it up, because I want it _all_ to belong to me.

**Anne's PoV**

I thought that maybe I could get answers from my brother since he knew everything that went on in the mafia world, inside the prison and outside, thanks to our father's involvement and his work as a police officer. It's been years since I'd spoken to him, even sent a holiday card. We'd distanced ourselves for good reasons, he was on one side of the law and I was on the other. It was for the best, but now I needed him.

I'd let the detectives and forensics and whoever else you could think of work on George's murder case, but now it was time for me to do my part. After his death, I spent months trying to recoup, trying to build my life back, yet so much was nagging at my spirit. That night, the night George was murdered, he'd told me that he would be right back, I saw the look in his eyes, he wasn't saying goodbye. I knew my husband, and I knew when he would lie to me and that night, he wasn't. So what happened to him?

I figure that it had something to do with his old activities coming back to haunt him. He was dealing with the consequences of his sins, I at least knew that. I ran my fingers through my hair, starting to feel the weight of the day on my shoulders. I should probably be resting and taking my medicine, but I cut that off weeks ago, they were only making me feel worse.

I knocked on the large wooden door, hoping that he was home and not at work today. He'd become this big time detective from what I've heard around town. I knocked on the door again before hearing a muffled voice come from the other side. The door swung open as a beaming, very pregnant Lily appeared holding her belly. I gave her a light smile and an awkward wave.

"Anne? What are you doing here?" She asked skeptically with an odd look on her face. Her body tensed as she looked over my shoulder at the passing cars.

"Um… is Rob home? I need to speak with him," I said fanning myself. It seemed as though it had grown hotter in an instant.

"He's not, but… ugh… would you like to come in and wait? He should be home soon," she said stepping aside to allow me enough room to walk in. The cool air hit me quickly, and I was grateful for it. Lily sat me down in the living room as she went to fix us both a glass of lemonade.

I hadn't been in this house in forever. It still looked the same, minus the new placement of the furniture. I can remember bringing Amy here, she loved this house. I doubt that she remembers it, or even remembers what the occupants of it look like.

Lily came back in the room carrying a tray with cookies on it, along with the picture of lemonade. I stood up and took it from her seeing as she looked like she was about to fall out any minute now.

"You didn't have to do that Anne," she said giving me a warm smile. I sat the tray on the coffee table and waved her off. Lily sat down exhaling harshly.

"It's nothing Lil," I said rubbing my hands together and staring at her stomach. "So, what is it? Niece or Nephew?" I asked trying to make conversation, and also being genuinely excited. Lily looked down at her stomach and rubbed her hand across gently, a smile on her face. I never knew what it would be like seeing her again, but I never imagined it would be a nice encounter. Lily and I had never really gotten along well, but she loved Amy, she loved children period. I was happy that she was finally having her own. Rob once told me that they were having trouble conceiving.

"Both," she stated dreamily. At one point some doctor told her she couldn't have kids, now she was about to have two. Lily loved to prove people wrong, I smiled at the thought.

"Really? That's great Lily, I'm so excited for you," I reached over the coffee table and grabbed her hand, squeezing it.

"Thanks Anne, I hope that you'll stick around to know them. I know you and I weren't the greatest of friend, but with these babies coming, I won't you to be here. Actually, I wanted you to be one of their godmothers," she stated confidently. I tensed at her words. Godmother? I haven't seen her in years and she wants me to be one of her baby's godmother.

"Oh," I said dumbly. "What does- How does Rob feel about that?" I asked stammering. She looked to the side mischievously.

"Don't know yet, haven't ran it by him, but he'll be okay with it, I'm sure. I've been thinking about it for a long time. Anne, you're a good person, you're a loving mother, and if something happens to me and Rob, I want the baby to be with someone in the family," she said sincerely. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't going to decline, but I don't think accepting was the right thing to do either, not until she talked to Rob.

"That's nice," I said taking a sip of lemonade from the glass I'd recently picked up while she was talking. Lily smile again, amused at my dreadful tone.

"It'll be okay Anne, Rob doesn't hate you. You two just chose different lifestyles that allow both of you to play in different leagues. Doesn't really matter anyway because both lifestyles are dangerous," she said smoothly. I sighed heavily.

"But I don't live that life Lil. I never have," I said unconvincingly. I took another sip of the lemonade. "I might be attracted to it, true, but my father, he beat it into us and maybe I was more tempted by it than Robert was," I said shrugging my shoulders lightly.

"Well they do say we women marry our fathers," Lily leaned over and took a cookie. Before Rob married her, I remember him coming to me and asking me if he should tell her about our life. In yet, it wasn't really our life, since my mother had moved me away from him and my father. Rob chose to stay behind because he was into the mafia thing. He looked up to my dad for a while.

"I've never really liked that phrase," I stated laughing, she joined in shortly.

The sound of a car pulling into the driveway snapped us out of our laughter as my nerves went into overdrive. How would he feel about me being here? Would he throw me out? Would he tell me that I made my decision and vouch to never speak to me again? I know we had our differences, but this was the time I needed him. I wasn't only here to talk about George's murder. I was here because I needed to ask him if he would take care of them. The cancer was eating me up quickly, it would only be a matter of time before I was lying on my death bed and I wanted his help. I wanted answers. Rob needed to tell me what happened that night. The night George was killed because I know he was there.

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><p><strong>There's another one folk. I'm on a roll. Tell me what you think is going to happen next. Review, Review, Review!<strong>

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><p><strong>Ramyfan1981: <strong>A lot of people don't even know Amy's last name yet, including Ben, but that should all change soon. Also, the landmass (that's what people on the weather channel call Mississippi) wasn't hit too hard by Isaac lol, thanks.

**Guest from 9/2: **Ben could be mistaken about seeing Ricky with Amy, you never know ;).

**Guest from 8/30: **Sadly, George isn't still alive.


	18. Confused and Unsure

**Brenda Hampton own all of Secret Life of the American Teenager except for my characters. (Joseph, Michael, etc.)**

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><p><strong>AN* Thank you everyone for helping me reach 100 reviews that makes me feel really good. This is my first story with that many so I'm really happy. Love you all continue to read my stories and review them if possible!<strong>

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><p><strong>*Two Weeks Later* <strong>

**Amy's PoV**

It's been two weeks since I've even looked his way. Truth is, I was so caught up in trying to understand what my life really was, who I really was. Everything that I'd lived was a lie, my parents had kept all these secrets from me. Did Ashley know? Usually, she was the one that my dad told everything to, did he tell her this also? Why was I left in the dark?

Someone I just met not even six months ago knew more about my life than I did. He could've lied or told me to ask my mother, but he hadn't. Ricky had been so honest with me. Yet, I was angry with him. Of course there was really no legitimate reason, just because I could be. It was the only way that I could handle and process all of this information. I wasn't going to cry about it, there was no point in that either, all I could do was live with it.

What could I possibly change now? I mean, my dad was pretty much in the mafia until the day he died, literally. How the hell did I miss something that big? Although, Ricky did say that for a while, he'd cut ties with all of it, but couldn't stay away long. He didn't tell me the reason for him going back. In fact, there were still countless holes in the story.

Ricky, seemed to be off his rocker for a moment when he realized George was my dad. Just like I was when he slammed the mafia tale on me. I hadn't really believed him when he started telling me all the details. How could I have? It seemed so farfetched.

Our day had started off okay until that moment. I wouldn't have even asked about the brutal beating on Michael, until Michael talked about my dad. I would've forgotten about the whole situation, but now everything was starting to click. All the puzzle pieces were falling into place.

The days when my dad would leave the room when a phone call came. He would go out of town on business trips. I thought it was odd even before I was told all of this. How much business did you really have to do with a furniture store? Damn I was naïve. George Jurgens, my father, was in the mafia. The fuckin' mafia. Who would've thought a boring man such as my father was involved in organized crime? That proves that you don't really _know_ people until you _know_ them.

I was looking into a whole new perspective now. All of this could explain his death, our moving, my issues. What else had I missed?

"Miss Jurgens are you here for your session?" Caitlyn asked from behind her desk. I hadn't realized that I'd stopped by her door. I'd been doing so well avoiding these sessions, of course today, I would accidentally step into the pit. She glanced at the clock on the wall and looked back at me with a warm smile. "Oh and right on time, come on in, have a seat, we have a lot to discuss," I raised an eyebrow at her before walking into the room slowly.

I slung my purse on the floor and plopped down on the new shiny, leather sofa in her office. As much as this felt like therapy, therapy, it definitely would never be, no matter how much she tried. It was nice that she was trying to help, you know, the thought that counts, all that jazz.

"What could we possibly have to discuss? We never _discuss_ anything," I said lying down on the couch, closing my eyes. How cliché of me.

"Sure we do, we discuss your feelings. How are those coming by the way?" She asked smoothly. I opened one eye to look at her, then closed it back and sighed.

"Well, I've established that I don't have any," I stated honestly. My "homework" as she called it, was to go home and sort through what my real feelings are, but that was last week and this was the first time I'd been here for days. I wished she would've forgotten about that, or at least scold me for not coming. I hated talking about feelings, they always led to horrific tragedies and tribulations.

"Amy," She protested lightly. I heard her shuffling around papers, then she made a noise of approval. "You're being ridiculous, everyone has feelings. I called your old counselor from your school in Texas, she had wonderful things to say about you," That made me stiffen. I sat up quickly, opening my eyes to actually look at her. Caitlyn's finger twitched on the manila folder she was preparing to open. She never held my gaze.

"You're lying," I stated confidently leaning on my elbows. She peeked over the folder to look at me. I smirked. "You're trying to distract yourself so you can't look at me and since our sessions, I've noticed that you have a nervous twitch when you say things you don't mean," She gave me an odd look. Her fingers stilled on the folder and she put it down.

"How did you know that?" She asked curiously, never denying my words. I leaned back on the couch, crossing my legs over one another. I pushed my fingers through my hair.

"You just told me, on top of that though, you gotta notice the little things _Mrs_. O'Malley," she stared at me in amazement. "And that lady never liked me, but I appreciate the effort," I shrugged and sighed. Caitlyn smiled evenly, picking the folder back up and looking through it again.

"You're good Miss Jurgens, I'll have to watch out for you. You read people very well, it took me years to learn how to do that," She stated looking up at me only for a moment. I was getting annoyed at how she wasn't paying attention to me.

"It comes with experience, I'm a born liar and a master manipulator, I'm good at understanding different people," Caitlyn didn't look up at me.

"Reading people and understanding people are two different things, and usually people aren't good at both. So which is it, are you good at reading or understanding?" She asked putting the folder down and picking up another one, not paying attention to me once again.

"Are you just going to talk at me today or are you going to put the folders down and talk _to_ me? I'm the focus of this thirty minutes so make it count. This isn't your off period," I stated more madly than I thought I ever could be with her. She was always so nice to me and I'd snapped on her. However, she didn't seem fazed by the mishap.

"I am talking to you, but you're more focused on me not actually looking at you, than you are at hearing what I'm saying to you. Just because I'm not looking at you doesn't mean I'm not paying attention," she said calmly.

"I didn't say that, I would just like for you to look at _me_ when I'm talking, it reassures me that you're listening to what I have to say," I picked at the invisible lent on the sofa. Caitlyn looked back down before I could finish my sentence. I froze for a minute, then put my feet on the floor.

"I am," she said looking at the computer screen and clicking randomly, seeming to be very intent on whatever she was doing. What was her damn problem today?

"HEY," I blared loudly. "Pay attention to me," I stood up and pointed to myself, yelling. Caitlyn snapped out of her trance, then looked up at the clock.

"It took you all of ten minutes to lose your temper, you're improving, but at least now we know your other problem," she said still smiling, finally putting her eyes on mine. I was confused, so this was a test?

"Excuse me?" I asked sitting back down on the sofa. "What other problem? I have a lot of those so you're going to have to specify," I stated scratching my forehead. There was no use in asking about her little experiment, she would never give me an exact answer, she was odd like that. She liked for me to be out of things such as this.

"You don't like when people aren't paying attention to you Amy, don't you see a problem in that?" She asked incredulously.

"Well no, everyone likes attention and I'm not craving it, but when I'm talking I expect you to listen," I said evenly.

"I think you crave it more than you think," she said pointedly.

"Since when did you become a psychiatrist?" I asked under my breath. She chuckled lightly before leaning over the desk on her elbows.

"Since I graduated from Harvard University," she stated pointing to her degree on the wall. So _Mrs_. O'Malley was _Dr_. O'Malley? Who would of thought? "But this is about you not me, so, let's get into this attention issue,"

"It's not an issue so don't make it one," I said without looking at her.

"You're lying," she stated boldly.

"How do you know that?" I asked stupidly, falling into my own trap.

"Because you didn't deny it and you won't look at me. I pick up on the little things to Miss Jurgens," I chuckled, looking at her slowly. Today was going to be fun.

**Ben's PoV**

I didn't have the heart to hurt Nora and I've been suffering the consequences for days now. My dad wouldn't even look at me, he hadn't sent me out to do jobs, but honestly, I didn't mind. I liked being looked over, the things he made me do, they made me feel guilty and dirty after I finished, sometimes even before.

I was all gung-ho about it a long time ago, hell, not even four months ago, but it gets old fast. After the Marshall ordeal, it was hell. I had nightmares about that shit. My dad was delivering hit after hit, there was no reason, he just wanted to rise to power, like Joseph, minus prison. Once, my dad was at the top, but after the incident with George, everybody switched rolls. My dad got the brunt of it all. He wasn't a decision maker in all the organizations problems.

He wanted to use me, but what would happen if the men and women that I went after unmasked me or shot me first. All it would take was one time and I would be on the blacklist or better yet, the hit list. Would my father give himself up in my place? If he did or not, I would probably still wind up dead. I would always come up with the short end of the stick from this point on, but if I had to go down, I wasn't planning on going down on my own. The question is, who will I take with me?

**Ricky's PoV**

I sat at the table, face to face with my dad. The guilt of my latest confession was eating me alive, from the inside out. I had to tell somebody and he was the first person I thought of at the time. It was a spur of the moment decision that I probably should have thought about a little better.

Joseph stared at me expectantly. It had been a while since I'd spoken to him. I left all of that to my mother, I'd told him that I wouldn't be back, yet here I was. He no longer had a smug look, but there was still a bit of arrogance staining his demeanor, I don't think that would ever go away. The orange jumpsuit didn't make a difference to him, he was still running things, even from here.

"I thing I screwed up," I stated bluntly. Joseph raised an eyebrow as I fiddled my thumbs around one another.

"How so?" He asked putting his hand over his mouth and rubbing down his face. Usually when I say I screwed up, he isn't so calm, but it's not often that I do screw up.

"Graces new friend Amy, I told her about the mafia," I looked at him expectantly. He shrugged his shoulders.

"So, I'm sure she's heard of it before, it's nothing new Ricky. She lives in our town she would probably find out anyway," He shifted his eyes to the guard at the door.

"Yeah, but that's not it," I paused not sure if this was a good idea anymore, but I couldn't back out now. He wouldn't let me back out. I'd started, now I had to finish.

"Ricky what did you tell her?" He asked angrily, putting his hands flat on the metal table.

"I'd rather not say with the guard standing over my back," Joseph looked away from he rolling his eyes. He looked up at the guard behind me and I saw his eyes shift to the left quickly. The door opened and closed behind me. How could they allow him so much power? How could they not know how dangerous that was?

"What did you tell her?" He asked again, more demandingly this time.

"A few thing about George. He was her dad, she's a Jurgens," Joseph slammed his hands down on the table. "I didn't tell her we killed him, nothing like that, I just told her that he was apart of the family, not ours, just the family," I spat out quickly, trying to get it over it.

"Damn it Ricky!" He shouted slamming his palms on the table. "You told her that? What if she digs?" Well this escalated quickly. I didn't really expect all this, well, scratch that, I expected worse.

"She's not going to. I left holes in the story," I said defending myself. Which wasn't a well put together defense might I add.

"You don't know that Ricky," he said annoyed. We sat in a tense silence for awhile. I stared at him as he stared at the walls. His attentions snapped back to me quickly. "I want her gone, get rid of her," he said with no remorse. I froze in place.

"Get rid of her?" I asked.

"Yes Ricky, _you_ told her, so now I want her _gone_, before she gets me and you a death sentence," my heart skipped dreadfully out of rhythm. I couldn't kill Amy just because of some story that I'm not even sure she believed all of. She doubted most of it the whole time I was telling her.

"Are you crazy? _I will not kill her_. She hasn't done anything. I already told you I fixed the story, she won't say shit," I stated angrily. Joseph was taken aback by my sudden backbone towards him.

"And I want to make sure of that. She better be gone by the time I get out off this damn place Ricky," I stood up from my chair quickly and leaned on the table with my fists, looking him in the eyes.

"I'm not going to kill her, and I won't let you kill her either so you're going to have to come up with another plan because that's just _not_ going to work," There was an unbreakable stare down. It was like staring into the eyes of a demon, better yet, the devil himself. He was adamant on his decision about Amy, but I was more adamant on keeping her breathing. Joseph broke the stare, leaning back in his chair with his head behind his hands.

"Careful Ricky, your care for this girl could be your downfall. A lot of people didn't care about George, which made them not care about his family in default, don't put yourself in that position," I stood up straight, before turning to storm out of the room. I was really beginning to see a new side of Joseph. Was this what people outside his family, his real family, saw when they stared him into his eyes? How could I have missed this? Maybe because I was to busy admiring him, trying to be like him. I had never been afraid of becoming him until this moment, but I couldn't held but wonder, if I looked in the mirror one day, would I see him?

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><p>WOOHOO I've updated! Review everyone, I would really love if you did. Tell me what you think? If Ben goes, who's he going to take? Remember he's not the Ben we're used to seeing in secret life, he's more ruthless than you think.<p> 


	19. So, It's Come to This

***Secret Life of The American Teenager belongs to Brenda Hampton as well as do recognizable characters in this story.**

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><p><strong>Anne's PoV<strong>

Amy sat across from me in silence, just watching me. She looked hurt, angry, afraid, everything but content. There was something on her mind, she'd been holding back for a few weeks now. It was almost as though she wasn't here anymore. The day that I came back from Rob's house, I found her sitting in her room, just staring out the window. She was so spaced out that I was sure that she had maybe gotten into experimenting drugs again, but then, I thought better of it.

I knew that look to well. My mother had it every time my father had come home from his rendezvous' with other women. That look was reserved for when she didn't know how to feel, when she didn't understand what was going on around her. Amy, those few weeks ago, seemed to have perfected that look.

I didn't bother asking her what was going on. I had my own problems to worry about at the time, but now I'm thinking maybe I should have, it would have saved me from what was coming in the future.

"This has bugged me for weeks now," Amy said under her breath, pushing her hand through her hair and biting her lip, a nervous habit that she picked up years ago. She shifted her eyes around the room before letting them fall on me.

"What has honey?" I asked closing the magazine and throwing it on the coffee table. I slid my glasses to the top of my head, giving all my attention to my daughter. Amy didn't answer me, only continued to stare, like she was trying to read me. She was good at reading people, very good.

"I need to ask you something and I'm only doing this because it would help me a lot. I don't want you to lie to me. I want you to tell me everything," Amy paused dramatically, waiting for a response from me.

"Okay," I stated fearfully. I had a feeling that this wouldn't turn out well, not for me anyway. Amy and I never really had deep conversations, and she never really seemed so determined about a discussion.

"Was," she stopped for a moment of thought. "Was dad in the- in the mafia?" My heart skipped dreadfully out of pace. I knew I couldn't hesitate for too long because she would catch it and know something was up.

"Who told you something like that?" I asked chuckling, my nervousness slipped through subtly, but Amy caught it. I tried to still my shaking hands, but it was no use.

"It doesn't matter, just answer the question mom… please," She begged with an upset face. There was confusion trapped behind her brown glassy eyes. I didn't have to tell her because she already knew, she just wanted conformation, but I wouldn't give it to her. I would hold out as long as I could. She didn't need to worry about these things, she couldn't handle them. Amy was a strong girl, but behind all that fearlessness was a victim. A victim of what? I don't know, hell, where would I start?

"No Amy, why would I keep something like that from you? Do you know how serious it is to be in the mafia?" I asked keeping my voice at a level tone.

"I don't know, how serious is it mother?" She asked suspiciously.

"Amy your father was not involved in organized crime. He owned a furniture store, he was home every night at a decent hour and at the dinner table asking his favorite girls about their day. Does that sum it up enough for you?" Amy sighed heavily and stood up. She was getting that spaced out look again. She walked in front of me and then plopped down on the coffee table. We didn't speak for a few seconds, letting some of the tension die out.

"No, it doesn't. What about when he would have his business trips? He could've been working with the mafia then. Or even those strange men who would come into the furniture store when I was there? He would take them to the back and they would never leave with an order sheet or warranty paper. What about that?" She rambled out without a breath. Why did George leave me to do this? I didn't want to tell Amy, now was not the time. All of these changes were happening in all different directions, for all of us.

"Amy this is ridiculous. Where is all of this coming from?" I asked sincerely. Amy couldn't be getting this off the top of her head. Someone was giving her information and I didn't know if it was the police or someone here in California who recognized me. Either way, I wished that they wouldn't fill her head with this nonsense.

"Mom please," she begged a stray tear falling down her eye. Why was this so serious for her? Why does it matter?

"What would it prove if I gave you the truth Amy? What would it change?" I asked angrily. I hadn't meant to snap, but sometimes old habits die-hard. I'd never really learned to control my anger, it came when I was being defensive. It wasn't even me being angry with her more than it was myself.

"I don't know… I don't know. I just feel like maybe… maybe it will answer all of my questions, all of my suspicions," She said with little confidence. Amy huffed lightly, getting frustrated. She was trying to keep the tears from her eyes, she never had been one for crying.

"What suspicions Amy?" I asked sympathetically, touching her hand with my own. I felt her tense under my touch. Amy was beginning to draw into herself, putting up walls that I couldn't get around. That was always dangerous when it came to her. It could lead her down a path of destruction which would ultimately lead to more hurt and therapy.

"I don't know. His death. I just want answers and I feel like you're not giving them to me. My dad was a good person, at least that's what I thought. Who would want to kill him? He never hurt anyone," She was crying freely now. I'd never seen her so vulnerable before. She clutched my hand and I pulled her onto the couch with me, wrapping my arms around her. Amy shed her tears into my shoulder. It's been years since I held my daughter like this and I honestly missed this feeling.

"He was good Amy, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise," I kissed her forehead and she cried harder. "God Amy I didn't know this was still hurting you. If I would've paid more attention, maybe I would've realized. All this time, your heart was breaking," Amy moved closer to me. "I'm so sorry baby," I continued.

"I'm not hurting. I just want to know why. I could never come up with a reason and this would be the only explanation for all of it. They said that he was murdered but no one back in Texas would have motive. George Jurgens helped everyone, he _never_ turned anyone away," Amy spoke, her sobs stopping all together. I sighed. I wish I would've had more time to prepare for this conversation.

"Amy, there are things that I wish I could tell you, but it wouldn't save you from any more hurt in the long-run. Your father did things in his past that are in_excusable_, but he'd done so much more afterwards that surpassed all of his bad deeds. He didn't want you girls to know, he didn't even want me to know and until his death, I pretended as if I was unaware of everything," I loosened my grip from around Amy, letting her sit up. I could still see the tear stains on her face. Her makeup was all over the place, it was almost comical.

"So," she sniffed and moved her hair to the side, "he was involved? So that's a yes?" Amy looked saddened by the thought. I'm sure her view of the mafia came from movies and television shows so her mind was clouded by all the negativity people attached to it. She probably thought George was a swindler and murderer now, which is exactly how he didn't want us to think of him.

"It's whatever you want it to be Amy. You can believe he was a corrupt man who murdered and robbed, or you can believe he was the man who you called daddy, who loved you with all his heart, but all I ask is that you don't get the two confused," I stated. Amy didn't reply, only looked at her hands for a moment, rubbing them together as if she was trying to get dirt off them. She never looked at me and I feared that maybe I should have just stuck with telling her no. I didn't know how she would take this, definitely not in stride and that's for sure.

Amy would let this eat her up before she let it settle inside her spirit. It's hard to become one with the fact that the man you've known since you were a baby was not that man at all. I knew how she felt, I had experienced the same thing and maybe that's why some days, I hate my father for what he'd done to me my family. Don't get me wrong, I loved him, but the days when I was being nostalgic and actually putting things together, it was hell. Because of him, I would always be apart of this lifestyle, and so would my girls thanks to my bad decisions.

**Adrian PoV**

I sat on the park bench staring out at all the children playing. They were so happy, so oblivious to all the evil surrounding them. I envied that they could just escape by playing with toys and friends, while I had to endure all the pain and hurt. After doing some searching within, I realize that I hate myself, but I hate everyone else more. I can't say why. I can't say how. I just know it is what it is. I've always had a good life. I have my family, my friends, my boyfriend, but what is the problem?

I'm never happy unless I'm with Ricky and most of the time he's always on top of me or vice versa, so we never really talk much. Its like I'm setting myself up for a fall, for loneliness. Everyone that wants to enter my life, I just push them out and never invite them back. Grace is the only one I really have, but she's not even speaking to me.

I put my hands in the pockets of my black sweater. It was getting really cold out and soon, I would have to break out my gloves and scarves. I looked towards the clear sky towards the sun. I've always loved the outdoors, it was so freeing.

The bench shifted slightly as someone sat down. I could feel eyes on me. I looked over and smiled lightly. I had a feeling that this was coming soon. I've had a couple of weeks to be ready for it and even when I thought I was prepared, the pain would come back, it was like somebody stabbing me in the heart.

"I've never known why you loved coming to this park so much. It's crowded and full of kids, you hate kids," Ricky said amused. I looked over at him, smiling again before looking out into the distance, staring at all the children playing on the jungle gym.

"Hate is a strong word, try not to throw it around so lightly, Ricky," he grumbled leaning back into the bench. "Do you love her?" I asked, trying to get all of this over with. I didn't want to be here longer than necessary.

"I think I could," he said pulling a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it. "Unless my heart is just playing tricks on me… again," he directed his statement towards me, then took a puff of his cigarette.

"Smoking is a bad habit Castel," I stated playfully, still not looking at him. I don't know if I could anymore, just short glances was all I could handle right now. It wasn't like I was head over hills, but he'd always been there for me and now I wouldn't have him.

"Yeah, well, so are you," he said under his breath. I chuckled lightly. "I don't want to hurt you anymore Adrian," he said touching my shoulder. I shrugged him off. As much as I needed his touch right now, I despised it.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore either Ricky, there's something I have to tell you," I paused. I heard him shifting around, then saw him flick the cigarette on the ground, stomping it out.

"Ben?" I stiffened and looked at him. His eyebrow was raised and he looked angry. "I think it's funny how you accused me of wanting Amy so bad when you were fucking my best friend," he said with cool madness that scared me stiff.

"I don't have any regrets Ricky, about anything. You cheated on me _countless_ times. A couple of months ago, Ben told me he saw you in the car with Amy, but I knew it wasn't her. It was around the same time that you were having your feel of Zoe, so when he started describing, I just knew it had to be her," Ricky chuckled lightly. I looked away from him again. To anyone else it would've sounded like we were arguing, but we weren't. We were airing out things, saying things that should've been said long ago, maybe we would've ended sooner if we wouldn't have skipped the confession phase of the relationship.

"I would have never fucked Amy in my car, not the first time," he sounded so sure of himself, but I knew him better than that. "She deserves better," I was offended, because he never thought that I deserved better when he needed his fix.

"You know, I'm still going to hate her. All of this had nothing to do with you," he gave me a sideways look. "Well, most of it did, but from the first moment I saw her, I didn't really like her," I said shrugging.

"Why not?" he asked.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to answer that because I don't know. Girls like her you know, I've dealt with them before… before everyone knew me as a bitch," Ricky gave me an odd look before pushing his hands through his hair and sighing.

"I'm still going to kick Ben's ass," he said confidently. I never doubted that for a second. I'm sure that Ricky wouldn't even be speaking to him anymore after the big reveal. If you fucked him over once, that was it, that was all it took.

Ricky and I sat in silence for a while, it wasn't awkward or tense, it was comfortable. I felt like I didn't have this weight on my shoulders. I'm sure later we would have more angry words for one another, but now wasn't the time.

"What if she doesn't want you? Are you going to come back to me?" I asked curiously. I would still hold hope that we could be together.

"Probably not," he said standing up and walking off. That wasn't as bad as I thought, but it did leave me to put Amy Jurgens into a dark spot within myself. Ricky should know that I wouldn't let her have him so easily, that just wasn't my way of doing things, never has been.

**Amy's PoV**

I'd left my house a few hours ago and instead of driving, I just took to walking around the neighborhood. It was better than being cooped up in the house all day. Besides, I needed the fresh air, who wouldn't after that shit? And even with all the talking, she still wound up going around an answer. Fuck. What have I gotten myself into? Why did I even ask? And why was I letting all of it bother me? He obviously didn't continue to take part, but I'm still not sure he was an inside man. I was stressing myself out over this and I really, really needed a drink and a good screw.

The gusty wind blew around me, making my hair whip into my face. I mumbled and threw it into a slip knot. I didn't need anymore frustrations today. I'd gone against my rule and cried in front of someone. And for what? Something in the past that didn't even matter anymore. It wouldn't stop him from being dead. I stomped my foot on the sidewalk and put my hands on top of my head. How had I let this get to me?

I should've never let Ricky tell me. I should've never asked what was going on. I should've never gotten in the car with him. I should've never met him at all. Why did I agree to leave my home in Texas? I'd gained nothing from moving. My new identity lasted all of five months, I was at least going to give it until after Christmas, but a week more was just too much. Christmas? Now it would be ruined. It would be the first one without my dad. We made it through Thanksgiving just fine, but the next holiday was a whole different ball game.

"You look like you could use a friend," someone said walking behind me. I turned around, not really expecting to see him or talk to him ever again since we barely even spoke anymore.

"I could use a lot more than that right about now," I said suggestively. He chuckled as I walked closer to him. Maybe he could take this off my mind for a the time being. "What can you do for me Jesse?" I asked putting my arms around his neck and looking into his eyes.

"We can talk," he said innocently. I smiled warmly and shook my head.

"I don't want to talk. I want to do something else, something fun," I stated seductively. His body stiffened, guess he wasn't really the one I should be talking to about this.

"Like what?" Jesse asked stupidly. I raised an eyebrow at him. "But we hardly know each other," he stated nervously. Okay so he _definitely_ wasn't the one I should be talking to about this, but there was one thing that the both of us knew. He likes me, he likes me a lot, Jesse wouldn't be able to hold me off and fight temptation for long.

"What are you talking about? We're best friends Jess. We went out, we talk at school sometimes, we know enough," I kissed his cheek and smiled up at him. Jesse swallowed and I kissed his neck.

"I'm not so sure about this Amy," Bingo, he wasn't so sure of himself anymore which means he's all mine from this point forward.

"I promise I won't bite," I paused and pecked his lips. "Hard," he shivered under my fingertips. I could feel the heat radiating off his body. "Don't you want to be my friend Jesse? Don't you want to help me? This is what I need right now, I don't want to talk, I just want to feel… better," Jesse closed his eyes. "Can you do that for me?" I asked running the tips of my fingers in a circle on the back of his neck. I was afraid that he wouldn't let up and that I'd lost my charm, but sooner rather than later, he led me away, away to happiness, I hoped.

**Ricky's PoV**

Had I made a mistake in leaving Adrian? I knew it was something I needed to do, but was it for the right reason? I was watching what I _thought_ was the reason walk into a house in another mans arms. I had the right mind to shut the car off, bust the door down and drag Amy Jurgens out of there, but I was afraid that Jesse would be a liability. I pulled open my glove compartment, sifting through all the papers and over the gun to find a spare cig. Yeah, the smoking was definitely getting out of hand.

I don't remember the exact day I started, but I can remember seeing my mother do it all the time and I thought it was so cool. I was seven years old at the time. I thought everything she did was cool. It was odd how she would tell me not to smoke while she was puffing smoke out right in front of me. Now I wish I would've followed her advice. Sure I hated it, but it helped me think, among other things.

Grace caught me once, in my room, cigarette in hand and went and blabbed to Nora, we were fourteen then, that's when my rebellious stage started. I didn't think it would last as long as it did, but something about it was riveting. Like they say, rules are meant to be broken, and what would I learn if I didn't break a few here and there. I'm sure any teenager would agree with that.

I retrieved my phone from the cup holder while I puffed on the cigarette. I watched the smoke flow outside through the tiny crack of the window. Looking through my contacts I found Amy's number. Ironically, it was the first name on my contact list. I'm still not sure if she's speaking to me, but I would do anything to distract her from what I knew she was about to do. I couldn't help the possessive feelings I was having towards her. It was like I was under some spell, as stupid as that sounds.

Amy didn't answer on the first ring, so I called again. Of course, that was another hit and miss, so I repeated the process over and over. It was better than me driving my car through the front door and killing somebody, then she would really be pissed. How would I make up for that shit?

"Hello?" Amy yelled through the phone, catching me off guard. I chuckled at her annoyance. I heard moving around in the background.

"_Amy_, are you doing something that you're not supposed to be doing?" I asked entertaining myself. She huffed loudly and I heard the dial tone come on. I laughed, I didn't know how fun that this actually might be, it honestly wasn't my idea to make it fun. So, like the ass I am, I called again.

"What do you want?" She asked again. "Jesse wait," she said annoyingly in my ear.

"Wow, that fast huh?" Amy growled unattractive before hanging up the phone again. I tried calling another time, but this time she didn't answer. So, I went for the next best thing. I figured I wasn't going to break anyone's bones, so what would this hurt. Opening the car door, I flicked the burned out cigarette that was between my fingers on the pavement and crushed it with the toe of my shoe.

I walked over the perfectly manicured grass slowly. I didn't know what to expect when I got to the door, I didn't even know what had gotten into me now. I wasn't afraid or anything like that, this just isn't my style, at least not for a girl. Could Joseph be right? Would Amy be my downfall?

I replayed the conversation that I'd had with my father continuously. He wanted me to kill Amy? I couldn't. There's no reason for me too. Amy's only fault was coming here, to this corrupt town. Everything about it is crooked, from the little old lady across the street, to the religious mayor on the border of town. You can't trust anyone. That's why I felt that it was my duty to protect her, especially after my father wanted his hands on her. It scared me that I was willing to go against him for her.

I stepped on the large wooden porch, looking around the organized plants and furniture that sat on it. Jesse's mother seemed OCD enough. I looked back at my car while ringing the doorbell incessantly. I heard heavy footsteps coming towards me and I stopped pressing the button.

The door swung open and there he stood, hair tousled, his shirt looked thrown on and wrinkled. I smirked at him before patting his shoulder and stepping in.

"Uh come in," he said sarcastically. I could tell he was frustrated and I could see that nothing had happened, thanks to me.

"Tell Amy to get down here," I said boldly, leaning on the stairwell arrogantly. Jesse shot me a look of disbelief. I snickered lightly. He didn't move from his spot, only shook his head. "Should I go and get her myself?" I asked pointedly. He turned around slowly about to go up the stairs, but stopped abruptly, looking upwards tensely. She must've been standing there.

"Why am I not surprised to see you here?" She asked. I could imagine her rolling her eyes. I smiled at the thought.

"_Honey, I'm home_," I stated amused turning to look up at her. Once again, I was caught by surprise. Amy had a stony look in her eyes. It was as if she were here, but she wasn't here if that makes any sense. She wasn't really paying attention to what was going on around her.

"Yes, but you have a problem… This isn't your home so get out," Jesse spoke up for Amy who I'm sure hadn't lost her voice in a matter of seconds. I chose to ignore him, already crazy at the thought of him ever being inside of Amy. Amy began to walk down the stairs slowly, biting her lip, driving me nuts, almost breaking my act.

"Yes, _go_," she said angrily and pointing to the door. "You're ruining my day," she gave me a mock smile when she reached the bottom.

"I'm sure I can make it better again," I pulled her hand into my own and kissed the back of it. She pulled it away from me and crossed her arms.

"Well I'm not with you right now Ricky, I'm with Jesse," she stood beside him, back straight, feet pointed, all the characteristics of a strong woman.

"Right now? So does that mean it'll be my turn next?" I asked. I could see the tension building as Amy's mouth was stretched into a straight line. Her jaw was set in a way that you know that she was holding her tongue or distracting herself.

"Are you implying that she's a whore?" Jesse asked straight-faced. I'd never had a problem with Jesse before, but now I think I might.

"I'm not, but that doesn't mean she isn't acting like one. Fucking guys that she barely knows doesn't really tell me otherwise," I said raising an eyebrow. Amy flinched and looked to the side. I'd struck a nerve. "Don't you think so Amy?" She caught my eyes for a moment, then pushed her hand through her hair.

"Or is that you're just upset because I'm not fucking you?" She finally looked at me, thinking she could play my game.

"Quite the contrary Miss Jurgens _I_ would be the one fucking _you_," I stated never denying her question, there was no need to. Jesse's muscles jumped in his arms, I took note. He looked as though he was ready to pounce on me.

"You are being such an ass. What has gotten into you? I've never seen you act this way before," she spoke like we were always around one another. It was true though, I never act like this for nothing.

"Leave," Jesse stated daringly. I chuckled at him. He was no longer apart of this argument, hadn't been since Amy hit that bottom step.

"Are you coming with me?" I asked Amy as I started walking towards the front door, preparing to leave. Amy shook her head, stepping around Jesse. "Why not?" I asked, not looking at her.

"Because I'm not _finished_ here," she said standing her ground like that would stop me from getting her out of here.

"Yeah… you kind of are," I stated grasping her arm lightly and pulling her into me as we walked out the door together. I went peacefully, she was the one kicking and screaming like a spoiled brat. I glanced backwards as I stepped off the porch, seeing Jesse standing there with his hands in his pockets, not knowing what else to do with them. He probably wanted to hit me, but I knew he wouldn't dare do anything that idiotic.

"Let me go!" Amy shouted at me, still in my clutches, but I wouldn't. How could I ever let her go?

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><p>That's the chapter fanfictioners. I think this is the longest that I've made. I hope that you all liked it. I did the Amy thing with Jesse to remind everyone that the girl has some problems to work out. And the Adrian part? I wanted you all to see that she was still human, even being a bitch lol. Anyway, if you have questions, I have answers. Please Review everyone!<p>

**Ramyfan: **Well, I'm trying to start replying to ones with questions because I would love for everyone to ask some lol. It's a new thing I'm trying to start I think it would help me to interact and get you guys more involved with the story.


	20. And So It Continues

**Secret Life of the American Teenager belongs to Brenda Hampton.**

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><p><strong>Amy's PoV<strong>

I can't believe that I'm in Ricky's room, and I mean that in the most annoying way possible. After he embarrassed me, pretty much dragging me out of Jesse's house, I saw that I didn't have much choice today. Actually, sitting here wouldn't be so horrible if we were doing something other than listen to each other breath. So far, I was staring at the back of his head. I know I was angry with Grace for dropping me, but I would give anything to chat with her right now.

"I'm bored," I blurted out, laying my head on the wall. Ricky glanced back at me, smiling.

"Want to have sex?" He asked seriously, still focused on the laptop. Because of his current actions, he missed the deadly gaze I was giving him.

"Uh no," I stated incredulously.

"Why not? You know me better than you do Jesse," he exclaimed turning to face me in the chair.

"But I like Jesse," I spoke under my breath. Ricky didn't seem to like that statement much.

"Why? Cause he won't call your bullshit?" I didn't answer him. "I think you're scared," he said freely, staring at me as he spoke.

"Scared to have sex?" I asked confused. "I'm not scared of anything,"

"Yeah, that's the problem," he said standing up and walking towards me. I didn't like the direction that this conversation was going on. "You're not scared of anything. What's the deal Amy? Why do you have to be so fearless all the damn time?" He asked sitting on the bed beside me.

"Why does it matter to you?" I asked crossing my arms and standing up so I could get away from his burning stare. Every time we were together, he always had his questions, questions that were personal to me.

"You're going to self-destruct Amy. You're driving yourself damn crazy trying to be this person that I know you're not. I saw you Amy, that night you came to my house and you were supposed to be meeting with Grace, when you told me about all the shit you've been through," I heard the sincerity in his tone. I stood in the middle of the floor looking at the ceiling before I turned around to face him. Over and over I was hearing the same thing from everyone who thought they knew me.

"You didn't see anything. Ricky as much as you think you do, you don't know anything about me. You think you see some scared little girl trapped inside of a monster," He stood slowly, walking towards me, I stepped backwards towards the desk.

"That's exactly what I see. You're not good at hiding yourself from me. I'm good at reading people Amy, especially you," he said.

"Who do you think you are? Are you trying to be my hero? I don't need saving," I said, my voice raising just a hair. Ricky smiled at me. How could he stay so calm at a time like this?

"There's a different in saving and helping and I'm not trying to do either, I'm trying to stop you from a horrible fate," I hadn't realized that I was shaking my head and walking backwards.

"Fate? What kind of fate?" I asked.

"The morgue or the crazy house, whichever you find more convenient for yourself," he shrugged. I uncrossed my arms and stuffed them in my pocket. He was on the verge of getting slapped, but I knew that hitting him could only make things worse between us. He watched my movements.

"What about your fate?" I asked turning the tables, putting him in the hot seat. "Prison or you could join me in the morgue. I think your path is much more dangerous than mine," I said sitting on the desk, pushing his laptop out of my way.

"I'm not worried about either one and this isn't about me," he stated arrogantly, shifting his feet. I looked to the side and then back at him.

"Why not? Aren't you tired of talking about me? I know I am," I said sighing sarcastically.

"Wow, you want to talk about something other than yourself, that's new, who would've guessed?" He smirked.

"Excuse me," I asked offended.

"Your narcissist ways must be failing you, which only means Caitlin is doing her job," he said mockingly. I didn't respond to him. He was trying to tear me down bit by bit. "Didn't think I knew about that did you? I know everything, keep that in mind Jurgens," he said seriously. I hopped off the desk, having enough of this charade and heading for the door. Ricky seemed to know my plans before my hand hit the knob because there he was standing in front of me, a very serious look in his eyes that I'd never seen before.

**Grace's PoV**

I sat in Amy's room waiting for her to arrive. Her mother had come to the door and she looked upset, but I didn't question anything. The things that happened in Amy's family wasn't my business. I hadn't really noticed before, but I'm starting to realize that they were a private bunch of people. We'll see how long that lasts in this town. Sooner or later, they would hear the sirens and watch the cops tampering with evidence. I saw most things that my father tried to hide from me as a child, but I could only pretend to be so naïve.

I walked around Amy's room, looking at the picture of her old friends and one of her entire family. In each picture, Amy looked different, she looked genuinely happy. I smiled at a picture that was stuck to the wall by a tooth pick, it was obviously folded back and meant to stay that way. Being the nosy person I was, I pulled it off the wall, reading the back of it before turning it over.

_A&J forever, _The picture read. It was dated February 14, 2010, a classic valentines day picture. I turned it back over so I could see this mysterious J. He was cute . He had tight black curls and gorgeous dark eyes. He was only a hair taller than Amy, who looked as if she couldn't be more happier standing beside him. Amy had never mentioned him before, I wonder if they were still together, probably not since his side of the picture was folded backwards. I smiled and put the picture back in place.

Continuing my tour around the room, I studied the decor. Amy had a nice sized bed that could fit two people easily, just like mine. There was a nice shade of pink on two walls, while the other two were a royal purple. When I stayed here, I can't remember Amy saying anything about a favorite color and figured this must be it. Her dresser and desk were oak, it fit the room well. Amy's room was very homey, I don't know how she left it so willingly.

"What are you doing here?" Someone said startling me. I turned around swiftly, trying to find the culprit. Ashley stood at Amy's door, clad in a short blue jean skirt and a sweater tight around the midsection, but loose around the sleeves, she looked like a totally different person.

"Nothing, just waiting on Amy to get home. Your mom said I could wait up here if I wanted," I said justifying why I was in her sister's room. Ashley crossed her arms over her chest.

"Don't waste your time, she probably won't be back until tomorrow morning. She left angry, and that means a lot when it's coming from her," Ashley said nonchalantly. She uncrossed her arms and pulled her hair over her shoulder, the length had changed almost extremely. She'd gotten it cut, letting it only fall a little past her shoulders, it was cute on her. "What are you staring at?" She asked angrily. I snapped out of my trance, shaking my head.

"Nothing, you just look," I paused, not wanting to offend her. "You've changed," I finished, not knowing where my words were going to hit her. Ashley stepped into the room slowly.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing Grace?" She asked.

"I don't know. What do you think?" I counterattacked. She smiled, truly smiled and I was shocked by the gesture. I'd never seen her smile before, not anything so real.

"Well, I did it so I must think it's great right? It's a big step up from what I used to look like," she said shifting her eyes around Amy's room.

"I never had a problem with the you before, but I never got to know you before, so I can't really say if it was a step up or a step down," I spoke honestly.

"Compared to what my sister thought of me, I would say it's a step up," I couldn't help but to hear the sincerity in her voice. What had Amy thought of Ashley?

"Why the hell do you care what she thinks?" I asked. Ashley shrugged. "It's only about what you think and if you like it, to hell with everyone else," I don't think I've ever cursed so much in my life and that was only two words. Ashley smiled again. "Aren't you tired of caring what other people think of you? I know I am, so I say fuck em', starting today, me and you are going to say 'fuck what you think' to any and every one who has a problem with us," I said proud of myself for being so wise and knowing what to say. Ashley snickered lightly.

"Wow Grace, I never took you for the cursing type," Ashley said walking into Amy's room. I shrugged and smiled.

"Hey, what can I say Ash you never know someone until you really know em'" Ashley shook her head and stepped farther into Amy's room. I thought about the picture that had hung on the wall with a toothpick. "Hey Ashley, about that picture on the wall, who is that guy?" I asked curiously. Ashley slowly walked towards the picture and raised her arm to retrieve it off the wall. Before she could pull it completely down, her sleeve slid down her arm and I could see the scars going in a straight line up her arm. "What happened to your arm?"

**Ben's PoV**

"Ricky broke up with you?" I asked a nonchalant Adrian who'd shown up on my doorstep just before nightfall. Adrian nodded her head and invited herself into my house, heading up the stairs. "Why?" I asked, not really caring, but still a little confused. Ricky and Adrian had been together for so long, sure they had their issues, but breaking up was an extreme for them and usually they got back together when they did "break up" if that's what you want to call it.

"Why do you think Benjamin?" She paused on the top step, countering my question with her own. There was no reason that I could come up with that he would want to break up with her. Unless.

"You told him didn't you?" I asked almost in a panic. Adrian seemed lost for a while and then a light came on in her eyes. She shifted her eyes before shaking her head, I didn't believe her. "Adrian, did you tell him about us?" I asked more clearly.

"No Ben, I did not tell Ricky that we occasionally have sex," she said loudly throughout the house. I ran up the stairs and covered her mouth with my hand. She shoved it away abruptly, giving me an incredulous look.

"Jeez Ben who the hell do you think is going to hear me? I don't think Ricky has your house wiretapped," she said turning back around to continue her journey towards my room, where she always went. "I didn't tell him anything, your friendship is safe, we just mutually agreed that we didn't need to see each other anymore," she finished going into my room and plopping down on the bed. I didn't believe her, not entirely.

"Oh, well that sucks… for you," I said pointing out the obvious. Ricky was Adrian's crutch, she wouldn't be able to stand on her own two feet without him. "How does it feel to be downsized to the average girl?" I asked and she gave me the finger, making me chuckle.

"For your information, I haven't been downsized to anything, being with Ricky didn't put me at the top I was already there," she said arrogantly. I'm not sure about that. The only reason girls feared Adrian is because of what she might get Ricky to do to them, which probably wouldn't be much. He wasn't the type of guy to go after women, unless he was trying to screw them.

"Actually, you weren't anywhere until Grace was forced to be your friend," I said smiling. Adrian's head snapped upwards and she slowly stood up.

"Grace was not forced to be my friend, she's just the only girl I click with," she stated proudly like she'd won this battle, but I knew the story.

"You so sure about that? How come she didn't want to be your friend until freshman year, when you and Ricky started really getting close?" I asked. Adrian's eye twitched slightly and she turned around, thinking about my question.

"That doesn't mean shit. Stop trying to make me second guess myself," she said walking around the room, trying to get space. I watched her face falter a few times.

"Nobody liked you Adrian, not even the girls just like you, now if they didn't like you, what makes you think a nice girl like Grace would give you a chance?" I asked watching the back of her head, she cut her eye to the side to watch me walk over to her.

"Because she's a nice girl," she spoke loudly, becoming irate.

"Think again, her mother can barely tolerate you, it's because Ricky couldn't wait to be inside you so he got his little sister to play a role in his scheme," I said giving her my version of how she really came to be close to both Castel's.

"What is your problem Ben? Why would you tell me that?" She asked lightly. I could barely hear her. I wasn't trying to hurt her, I just wanted her out of my life. If Ricky didn't want her, then why would I? I wasn't going to play rebound to my best friend.

"So you'll know that the only reason that you made it in this life with us is because Ricky wanted to have his piece of you and when he did we couldn't figure out how to get rid of you. They were too nice to you Adrian, they should've told you from the beginning what the real deal was," I said chuckling lightly. I know it was a harsh of me to be telling her this, especially after Ricky just broke up with her not even a day ago. She was a big girl though, I knew she could handle this, she had a strong mind.

"You're a liar," she said turning towards me. I shrugged as I watched a tear stroll down her cheek. I'd never seen her cry before and I was starting to feel a small bit of guilt.

"Maybe," I said. She stomped over to me and looked in my eyes for a long moment, then I felt the sting of a slap and all my blood began to boil. I couldn't stop the monster from surfacing and instead of walking away like I should have, I grabbed Adrian around her throat and pushed her against my dresser, the mirror shook violently. Adrian made these ugly gasping noises, clawing at my hand. I could see my knuckles turning white. I was gripping her neck with such a tightness that I could feel her pulse slowing, the odd thing about it, is that I didn't want to let go until she was laying lifeless at my feet.

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><p>I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, it was probably long-awaited and all I can do is apologize. Please Review!<p> 


	21. AN

**Important**

**AN**: Sorry, this isn't another chapter. I just wanted to inform people that I'm still alive and I am in the process of writing new chapter for Changing Pace and Call it a New Story. Working 8 hours 5 days a week and 17 hours of college courses have left me with barely any free time and that free time is spent doing homework or trying to rest my mind. I missed writing though, so I had to come back. I love these stories and all everyone that reads them and I couldn't bear to leave it like this. So I just want you to know that I'm back, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be updating every single week (Maybe once every two weeks), but I WILL most DEFINITELY be trying to post before two or three months pass (again!)

**OAN**: Does anyone else just think Brenda Hampton and the writers of SLOTAT just let it get cancelled? I mean, I know they didn't want the show to go because that's their income, but could they have not come up with different storylines? Anyone else think they should take a look at a few of the SLOTAT fanfiction stories, half, if not most of these stories are better than the television show itself. If it were up to me, I would've moved SLOTAT to MTV, CW, VH1 instead of keeping it on ABC Family that way, they could get risky without getting some of ABC Family's credibility taken a way. This show had potential to be an awesome teen soap opera. If the actors were better trained, becasuse let's be honest, everyone in secret life wasn't that great of an actor/actress, but I loved the show nonetheless. Anyway, I'm not bashing secret life because if I didn't like it, I would not have been on fanfiction writing it. It was fun while it lasted. Okay, I'm sure you guys are ready to kick me off my soap box lol, so peace out peeps. (Feel Free to Respond to my Rant!)


	22. Hello and Goodbye!

**The Secret Life of the American Teenager belongs to Brenda Hampton **

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><p><strong>2 Months Later<strong>

_**Ricky's PoV**_

Amy walked timidly into the party, her hand tight in my own. This was the first party she's been to in several weeks. Actually, she was breaking doctor's orders being here. She was supposed to be finding herself and shit like that, but everyone needs a break every once in a while. Amy's been doing so well controlling her anger and has even slowed down with her alcohol intake. I'd like to think that I was helping with that since I was such an attractive distraction. Come to think of it, she was an attractive distraction too, especially from Joseph. He's still on my case about her, but I knew that if he wanted her gone, she would've been assassinated by now.

Grace was more than happy that we'd gotten together, everyone else, not so much. Amy's mom gave me evil eyes; Ashley seemed to be rooting for Amy's demise, even if it meant openly throwing herself at me. The rest of society just thought we were bad for each other and the people who thought we made a great couple theorized that we would go out Bonnie and Clyde style. I didn't pay much attention to all the negativity about our new relationship; mostly, people thought Amy was the lamb and I was the wolf in shepherds clothing.

Amy clamped her other hand down to mine, causing my hands to be sandwiched between both of ours. I looked down at her and she was biting her lip looking towards the kitchen where a few jocks and a few loose girls were throwing back shots. She wanted to be in there, not necessarily to chat, but to drown in all the alcohol her peers were consuming. I pulled her closer to me for support, pulling my hand from hers and wrapping my arm around her neck. The music got louder and the party goers screamed and hollered at the newest hip-hop track. I caught eyes with Billy an acquired friend through the family. He pointed towards a backroom and I nodded, this was what I came for, to take care of business and to have fun, but business always came before pleasure.

I kissed Amy's forehead and was prepared to walk off, but she pulled me back with a lot of strength that I didn't know that she had.

"Don't leave me alone," she stated in a panic. I pulled her hand in mine and kissed. This new Amy was such a drastic change. She was quiet to the point that I almost thought she was mute. Her fearlessness and courage seemed to diminish when she was without so much rage. I missed her spunk and her feisty attitude, which was one of the things that turned me on when it came to her.

"I'm just going to the next room," I said trying to reassure her. Amy pulled me again and I could see her pleading with me through her brown eyes. "It won't take me long, I'll come find you when I'm finished," I pushed her hair behind her ear. It was beginning to become a habit of mine.

"Ricky, as soon as you turn your back on me, I'll either be swinging from the rafters, drowning somebody in a pool of their own blood, or, worse comes to worse, grinding all over some random stranger," she said with so much seriousness. Amy really didn't trust herself to be out here alone, or to even be at this party. If that's the case, then should I just go against her wishes and sneak off when she's talking herself out of knocking down a bottle of vodka?

"First of all, I believe in you Miss Jurgens; Second of all, if I catch you grinding on anybody but me, I might warehouse the 'random stranger'," I said not sure if I was joking or being serious, but either way, it got a smile out of her, even if it was just a small one.

"Ricky, I'm not kidding around. Do Not. Leave me in here. You're the only one that thinks I can do this, this time, hell, I don't even think I can make it work this time," she said running her thumb across the back of my hand. Her manicured nail grazed my skin, sending a chill skipping down my spine. I looked around for Billy, but he was already gone. It was already hazy in here, but I could see a thick white fog coming through the crack of the backroom. Yeah, they were in there. It wasn't like I didn't want to take Amy with me, but if she thought it was testy in here then I knew she couldn't handle the other room. Compared to that room, it was candy land in here. However, she wouldn't get tempted if I were around to drag her out of there.

I didn't respond to her, just pulled her behind me through the crowd of half drunk, sweaty teens and towards the lion's den.

_**Amy's PoV**_

I sat on the stool and watched Ricky switch into a mode that I'd never seen before. His whole demeanor changed once he stepped into the room. Authority and Command outlined his limbs, yet still, there was a subtly serene calmness about his attitude. I didn't pay much attention to the conversation, just knew that it was something that I shouldn't be repeating outside of this room, which is where I wanted to be, outside this room that is. Ricky did a horrible job of warning me about the going on of this cul-de-sac at the back of the large house. It wasn't necessarily the constant intake of drugs and alcohol, it was just the atmosphere. Everything about it seemed to draw me in; it was like my own personal paradise. Before my trips to Caitlyn, this was exactly what I'd dreamed about.

Ricky kept cutting glances at me from the corner of the room where the pool table was. I didn't know he was so good at mindless games. Well, it was mindless to me because I didn't know how to play.

"You don't belong here," a voice said beside me. I swiveled in the chair to see a long-haired brunette girl who held a clear glass to her lips. I raised an eyebrow at her. She snickered, already buzzed from whatever that green liquid was in the glass. "No, no, no… no not like that, not like that. I just mean, you used to be, well, not me, but I know your type," she said stumbling and mumbling over here words. She took a long sip of the liquid before putting the glass on the counter.

"And what's that?" I asked intrigued by the bubbly girl.

"I don't know, I've just always wanted to say that," she finished. The mystery girl glanced over my shoulder and smiled. I looked back to where her eyes had fallen. Of course, none other than Ricky, girls were always eyeing him; it was like I wasn't competition or something. I don't remember Adrian having this problem when they were together. Girls never eye Ricky in front of her. "I saw you walking in with Ricky. I've heard about you Amy, too bad Ricky hasn't told you about me. I'm Clementine by the way," she said sticking her hand out for me to shake. I took it hesitantly, not too sure about her yet. My intuition was telling me not to trust her, to run away from her as fast as I could and never look back. Clementine had that sneaky look in her eye that she hid with her beautiful features.

"Oh Clementine, yeah, I remember you now. You're right, Ricky doesn't have much to say about you," I lied, trying to get her to bite the bait. A small fire ran from one of her eyes to the other, and then the light came back. Bingo.

"Excuse me? How could he not have anything to say about me? Before Adrian came along-" She said, beginning to rant to herself. I watched her actions carefully, from the small vein protruding from her neck to the small quack of her fingers. "I'm sorry, what was I saying?" she said as though she were a crazy woman.

"Something about before Adrian came along?" I said pretending to be undaunted by her psycho rant, looking her in the eyes so I could watch the lies seep through her sockets. Clementine cleared her throat and then took another sip of her drink, which was nearing its end. She didn't seem as drunk as she was before and I was beginning to think it was an act just so she could get something out of me.

"Yes, before Adrian came along, Ricky you used to love m- being around us," she said looking in Ricky's direction again. I wasn't foolish enough to miss her slip, she was going to say "me".

"Who is 'us'?" I asked straightening my back as someone walked by with a brand new bottle of liquor in hand. Clementine eyed me curiously before shaking her head almost inconspicuously.

"His real friends, the ones that are actually in the family and not some wannabe like Ben Boykewich," Clementine said with clear disgust. I didn't know much about the mafia, but I was beginning to learn since my boyfriend was, clearly, a part of it. It was safe for me to assume that Ben wasn't one of them, not necessarily.

"What does Adrian have to do with that?" I asked more interested than I thought I would ever be when it came to Clementine's knowledge about Ricky.

"Not much, but her dad is a lawyer, that doesn't work here. Adrian tried to force her presences on us and it made us not like her even more. Ricky had been so stuck up her ass when they first got together that he sort of dropped us, which in turn led him to Ben," she began.

"So actually it's more your fault than Ben's or Adrian's, am I wrong? Just because her dad is a lawyer doesn't mea-"

"You can't trust Adrian!" Clementine said forcefully, her eyes widening. I could see a story in her face. I watched evil chase away good for a moment before her smile reappeared and her hand was touching my shoulder. "It was nice to meet you Amy," she stated after a while before jumping up from her seat and heading towards the door. I glanced back hoping someone else had witnessed her quick mood change, everyone had. Is it possible that I'd just met someone with more issues than myself?

_**Anne's PoV**_

I looked at the police reports over and over and I wished that they hadn't been correct. I searched for a misprint and when I didn't find one, I sighed and leaned back in the office chair. Rob had gone against his code of honor letting me into the FBI database tonight. The place was crawling with feds and I had a small inkling that they knew who I was. My name may have changed, but I still had the face of the daughter of a major player in the mafia. I let their stares and whispering roll off me just as I did with everyone else. Rob probably never had to put up with this crap.

"What are you doing mom?" Ashley asked me coming through the front door. Her hair was tousled and she seemed to be fixing her clothes, she was turning into Amy. I sighed inwardly realizing that my eldest daughter probably rubbed off on my youngest daughter.

"Nothing, going through some paperwork," I stated nonchalantly, using my highlighter to mark important discrepancies. I felt the couch shift, signifying that Ashley was sitting down beside me. I threw the papers down swiftly when I felt her looking over my shoulder, reading the report.

"Since when did you become a secretary for CPD?" She asked catching a good look at the heading of the paper before I could hide it from her. Sometimes Ashley was too inquisitive for her own good.

"I'm not," I said. "I'm just going over a few papers I found on the internet about your dad, trying to see what they've said about him," I looked at her, telling her a bold face lie. Ashley stared at me for a moment as though she could see my lie.

"Why? It's probably nothing good," she stated standing from her seat. "And why would they have his information in California?"Ashley looked at me skeptically.

"Where's Amy?" I asked, obviously reverting the subject to something else.

"Probably with Ricky, anyway, is there something you need to tell me mom?" This time when I answered I really wasn't trying to subject.

"What do you mean she's with Ricky? I thought I told her that dating him was out of the question," I stood up heading for the kitchen where I'd left my cell phone. "That girl is so disobedient," I proclaimed.

"I'm sure she's okay. Amy's a big girl," Ashley said with a lot of attitude and jealousy.

"It's not about her being a big girl, I told her she couldn't see him and she went against my authority," I grabbed the phone off the counter, unlocking it and instantly dialing Amy's cell number.

"She always does that, what's the difference between now and then?" Ashley followed me into the kitchen, rolling her eyes when she saw me pick up the phone. I turned around so I could ignore her condemning eyes. Amy's phone went to voicemail. "Amy Jurgens, this is your mother calling, you better get home as soon as you get this message," I stated trying to be more authoritative. I put the phone down as Ashley began to clap slowly.

"Look at you, finally putting your big girl panties on, it only took you seventeen years," Ashley stated sarcastically. "Maybe if you would've done that years ago, your daughter wouldn't be a recovering alcoholic slash narcissist slash drug addict slash slut slash-" I cut her off with my hand in the air, walking past her and up the stairs, not wanting to hear it from her. Ashley was really starting to turn into a bitch, much worse than Amy. I could handle one child being that way, but two was just too much. I walked into my room, heading for my medicine cabinet to take a few of the sleeping pills so I could just forget about tonight, I was supposed to be off of them weeks ago, but things were so tiring.

I popped one first, but after a while, I was still up. One turned to two and two turned to four, soon, I felt myself drifting easily. I climbed back into bed and pulled the covers over me closing my eyes.

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><p>I know! I know! Finally huh? Sorry it took me so long, please don't hold it against me Review Review Review! And also leave questions if you have any!<p> 


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